How do you keep your toddler from running away in the shops?

:tmi: Ladies! :grouphug: Be comfortable in YOUR choices, for YOUR children. If you know that you are 100% confident in the decisions you are making for your babies, then that is honestly all that matters, I promise! Heck, I know it's hard when you see or hear a comment that grates you the wrong way, and sometimes that can make you feel attacked for your choice...but really, different strokes for different folks and all that jazz. I have no issue if someone disagrees with something I do...so long as they are respectful about it and not being immature, then okay. Hate the action, not the person. Really, try not to hate *anything*, because hating things feels like crud anyway. Just big :grouphug: all around. At the end of the day, you are all amazing parents to kiddies who are blessed to have you. No drama ;)

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:tmi: Ladies! :grouphug: Be comfortable in YOUR choices, for YOUR children. If you know that you are 100% confident in the decisions you are making for your babies, then that is honestly all that matters, I promise! Heck, I know it's hard when you see or hear a comment that grates you the wrong way, and sometimes that can make you feel attacked for your choice...but really, different strokes for different folks and all that jazz. I have no issue if someone disagrees with something I do...so long as they are respectful about it and not being immature, then okay. Hate the action, not the person. Really, try not to hate *anything*, because hating things feels like crud anyway. Just big :grouphug: all around. At the end of the day, you are all amazing parents to kiddies who are blessed to have you. No drama ;)

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Here here!
Being a parent is HARD. We don't need others making it harder.
What happened to the sisterhood?
Show some respect and own your choice.

Nawwwwwww PZ you rock ;) well said!


Love MN ;-)

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Here here!
Being a parent is HARD. We don't need to make it harder for each other.
What happened to the sisterhood?
Show some respect and own your choice.

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Oops! Double post.

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Christy, I really do get that no one can fully understand each others perspective since we are not in the same situation. But it's about being respectful of each other.

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Perhaps if mums like myself were also shown respect, we would do the same. Its very hard not to bite at comments like "i find harness offensive' when you are in a situation like mine ( and many others).it really hurts. I'm judged on my parenting everyday of my life, from friends and family to complete strangers.I don't particularly enjoy reading it on here too. The Keyhole judging thread comes to mind.
Yep, it wasn't a very nice thing to write, Ive deleted it. Doesn't take away from the fact that it upset me though...

Thankyou Christy xxx


ETA - doesn't help that today while at the shops, ds was running wild, lying on the ground and rolling around. The looks I got were awful. Then I log onto to read that if I used a harness I'm going to be judged too. Cant win, you know. I actually burst into tears after all that. That's not beans fault, just the way it is.

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Perhaps if mums like myself were also shown respect, we would do the same.

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Two wrongs don't make a right :)

I know that. I'm not really up for this, logging off for a bit.

my ds2 is a seriously bad bolter, but he has just come to the realisation now that he has to be in the stroller at the shops. often when i first get there, i will take the kids to the small indoor playground they have set up there, grab myself a coffee and let the 2 of them run wild in the play area for 10 mins. then i strap ds2 in and ds1 walks along next to the pram. i only have limited time that this works for though so i try to quickly get it all done and get out!
best of luck with it, it's a horrible situation to deal with xo

Things that work for us:

Going when he is not tired or overly hungry.
Taking small snacks I can dole out slowly like small rice cakes, sultanas, cut fruit, fruit bars that break up.
Using a monkey harness while holding his hand (we're still working on consistent holding and will be for years I suspect)
When riding in a trolley round a supermarket I give him the non-breakable items to look at and put in the trolley.
Stroller.
Making a number of quick trips on different days (or in the same day) rather than one long trip with multiple shops visited. I've worked out that he can handle two to three stops before he is over it.
Making sure the day is balanced with not too much time strapped into the car seat/stroller/harness/trolley etc and time to run outside. I think the balance will be different for each kid but I kind of know how much DS can tolerate now itms?
Talking ahead about what is going to happen is starting to pay off. Telling "the story" of what we will do and what behaviour is expected of him and what will happen afterwards often works.
Cutting trips short if he is starting to lose it or becomes too unco-operative.
I also give him a forced choice that he can (for example) ride in the stroller or wear monkey (which also involves holding hands a lot of the time).
Going to the shops when he is at home sleeping (requires someone around to watch him though).

Online shopping is a great idea!

I think the OP's DD sounds extremely independent and interested in the world around her. That will be a positive trait when she is an adult but is hard work now!
This depends on your finances and feelings about CC but another idea would be to put her into occasional care for an hour or two a week to get all of your running around done? Or see if you can find a regular babysitter for an hour or two of an afternoon to be at home with her perhaps.

Good luck with it. She will get there eventually.

Yesterday I had the worst time with DS.... Usually I do everything right, take him when hes not tired or hungry, make sure hes already had time to play, ask him nicely to talk with mummy and hold my hand ( This usually works for us as he loves praise :) ) I give him food ( sometimes maccas chips when he demands them) and usually it works for us.

He has never really used the pram i used to always put him in the baby part of the trolley but for the last year he has been carried by myself or DH , left at home with DH , or carried by me, whilst pushing the trolley.... but i wasnt pregnant then... Now with a big belly i cant lift him for long and wont risk a kick when hes being feral ( which is every now and then... lately... ( hes 2 1/2 ) so lately
I give him the option of walking or the pram he has chosen the pram a heap of times when he is tired or lazy :)

and it worked until yesterday

I was looking for two seconds in Big W and he started yelling to get him out. (Not just let me out please mummy, that was the first sentence, then get me out now, now, get me out , help , help me ,,, until he got so loud i let him out, he stood still for a second and tricked me into thinking I could pick up a pair of underwear.... When he took off, and not just a little, he legged it aroundthe whole department laughing like a hyena, with me trying to pull my handbag of the pram and catch him with my preggo belly.... He only stopped when he realised he was lost and started yelling help me mummy.... until i caught up with him.

Id hate to think what would have happenend if it was outside... it was the first time he has ever done this... Now im scared to take him out, i will be leaving hectic things until his preschool day.... lol

I dont know what else to do... When i saw this thread yesterday I was almost tempted to post.... When you figure out how to do it PM me, but left it to see any responses.... Wow what a thread....

I havent tried a harness because I didnt like them, Or need one... Now Id happily take a choker chain... ( JOkes, its my sense of humour)

i hated the idea of harnesses, UNTIL i had a toddler who was running off in public, esp car parks. Then i changed my mind VERY quickly.

we had a monkey harness that lived in mummy's car and a koala harness that lived in daddy's car, so no matter where we went, there would be a harness. My child liked them so much, she was excited to put on her "pak pak" as she called them. It was like putting on a plush toy on her back.

i had the harness on her, would gather up the long bit, put the loop thru my wrist, and we would walk hand in hand. So she was not being "pulled" on the leash, cos we walked together. And then on the times she really did want to run off, i had notice it was happening. i have RSI, so her running, pulling on the full length - no way i could physically cope with that.

So i mitigated the leash (to myself), by making sure i didn't yank it, or have it out "long", most of the time. if it awas out long, that meant i needed to drop whatever i was doing, and manage her behaviour. i have no idea how to manage with more than one child, i have one child, so my only experience is using the leash with one child.

developmentally, we used the leash until she could understand and go along with the "we don't run off" stuff. we stopped using the leash when she no longer needed it. it was only a short time in the scheme of things (say, a year) but if made going out in public so much safer.

i don't like seat belts either, but they save lives, so we wear them. For the greater good etc etc.

Hahaha, Mum2Romone, you crack me up! Chokerchain :rofl:

Today, if you'd been at Target in Queanbeyan you may have seen a mummy with a little boy who was staging a "sit in" in the dvd aisle while the overhead announcements were coming about the shop closing in 10 minutes, in 5 minutes, closed. The mummy tried calmly telling him it was time to go, bribing him, ordering him, walking off without him and nothing worked. :wall: She tried taking him by the hand and gave up when it meant she would have had to drag him along the ground. Then the mummy decided to abandon the things she wanted to buy on the floor and carry the screaming crying child out of the shop... It was at this point that a staff member took pity and asked if the mummy needed help and then picked up the items off the floor and carried them to the checkout, followed by the embarrassed upset mummy with the wailing, crying boy on her hip.

I wish it had been another mummy but it was me.:redface:

I will be trying the panda harness next time we're out and that doesn't work, then I just won't be shopping with him ever, ever, ever again. Well, that's how I'm feeling at the moment!

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I will be trying the panda harness next time we're out and that doesn't work, then I just won't be shopping with him ever, ever, ever again. Well, that's how I'm feeling at the moment!

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this is my exact thoughts after my last trip out with all 4! i vowed to only be takeing the girls out and leaveing the boys at home!

im sure anyone watching would be more than sympathetic.

If I am out shopping on my own with the baby and toddler I have a harness on the toddler. It is a little blue backpack that is actually big enough to hold his drink or favourite "toy of the day". He loves it and actually asks to wear it. He puts it on and sings the backpack song from Dora and tells everyone it's his Diego Rescue pack, lol.
I couldn't care less what anyone thinks about him having a harness on. He is happy to wear it, and safe, that's all that matters to me :)

Oh, and I DO set boundaries for my child...but it only takes one time of those boundaries being pushed or tested for my child to get lost/stolen/run over. I would rather use the harness than take that chance.

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Hahaha, Mum2Romone, you crack me up! Chokerchain :rofl:

Today, if you'd been at Target in Queanbeyan you may have seen a mummy with a little boy who was staging a "sit in" in the dvd aisle while the overhead announcements were coming about the shop closing in 10 minutes, in 5 minutes, closed. The mummy tried calmly telling him it was time to go, bribing him, ordering him, walking off without him and nothing worked. :wall: She tried taking him by the hand and gave up when it meant she would have had to drag him along the ground. Then the mummy decided to abandon the things she wanted to buy on the floor and carry the screaming crying child out of the shop... It was at this point that a staff member took pity and asked if the mummy needed help and then picked up the items off the floor and carried them to the checkout, followed by the embarrassed upset mummy with the wailing, crying boy on her hip.

I wish it had been another mummy but it was me.:redface:

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Oh hun sounds terrible! Big hugs!

We have a harness but Dd is generally good at staying in the pram, supplied with snacks :) tho she cracked it really badly yesterday and DH took her back to the car while I finished off the shopping.

I think this thread has been an eye opener, when you see someone struggling in the shops or a child running off, or a child in a harness we just never know and it's not anyone's place to judge. You have to do what works for you and every mother is doing their best.

I used a harness with DD1 too, she calls it her seatbelt - "so we can be safe" like Dora and loves it. I've heard people comment it's like having a leash like an animal, pfft, DD1 is very well behaved, is disciplined and has boundaries, but I was NOT going to risk her getting away from me the one time in a carpark at the local shopping centre and getting run over by a car because of that opinion. This way she didn't have to hold my hand or the pram if she didn't want to, but could walk next to me while I pushed the pram or carried DD2 without my having to worry about her running away. Having said that, if the kid is anti-hand-holding, anti-everything, it might not work anyway, my nephew just threw himself on the ground and screamed, my parents just stopped taking him to the shops as they were too old to run after him, couldn't keep hold of his hand, and he'd chuck a tanty in the harness (which they gave to me, yay for us). Each to there own.