In a few weeks my youngest and last baby will be nearly one. I just can't get my head around it. Time has really flown.

I have so many feelings as we approach his birthday. Whilst I know it will be my last first birthday that I celebrate, I'm not sad as such. I guess I just want to make it very special.

When DS1 turned one we had just found out I was pregnant again a few weeks earlier. I was so sick, vomiting all day and generally exhausted. DS1 didn't sleep well until he was around 15 months so not only was I vomiting all day, but I had a little baby that didn't sleep to look after. It was also a very busy time for us as we were selling our apartment. In looking back, I don't think I was all there for that time. My MIL hosted the party as I just wasn't up to it.

I think that's why I'm really looking forward to Henry's birthday. I get to make it a 'proper' first birthday. I'm going to go completely over the top with decorations, get balloons and make a beautiful cake. He will have no idea but who cares! We will all have a lovely afternoon and I get to celebrate the fact that he's alive and well.

Let's hope that in the lead up to his first birthday he begins to think about sleeping through the night, a feat he's only managed to achieve twice. However when he does I'll probably miss our middle of the night cuddles and wish he started waking up!