We went to Pink on Tuesday, and SIL and our neice babysat for about 6.5 hours. Jazz doesn't see SIL all the often, maybe once or twice a fortnight, itd not really regular and its never for more than an hour or two at a time.
So we had been telling her all week "Aunty K is coming to look after you, you'll have so much fun etc etc etc" (not that she seemed to understand but anyway thats another issue), SIL arrived and Jazz started playing with our neice, we gave her big hugs and kisses, and then we left (I held my tears in LOL!).
We came back and SIL and neice kept saying "she didn't even look for you, she didn't miss you at all, she didn't even realise you were gone"...
(I do believe it too, there have been other times when Jazz just doesn't seem to care who she is with or where we are)
Is this something I need to be worrying about?
She also doesn't have attachments to any toys either, she doesn't have a favourite stuffed toy, she doesn't hug her teddys... she seems very apathetic in that respect. I've spent lots of time playing and hugging teddys and things...? We show lots of emotion to her...?
Am I being silly? Tell me if I am, because I'm actually really worried that there is something serious happening. I've noticed it since she was born, she never had any issues being away from us (granted we were never out of view), she's never had any issues being with strangers (again, we were right there). She's not shy, she'll go to anyone, and unless she is very cranky, she doesn't really care where she is or who she's with...
Aren't babies supposed to not want to be separated from their mummies...?
(this is starting to sound very much like MY issue LOL!)
She was distracted by a new environment and having a lot of fun. She knew you were coming back - sounds to me like she is a rather secure little smoosh head
Wait until you look after someone else child for a few hours, then you will see that even if they do look around for mummy, they can usually be distracted by a new toy - or a stereo they haven't trashed yet, or something new to stick their fingers in or try to eat.....
There WILL be times when she won't want you to go, but I'm sure she'll save it for something really important to you so you feel baaaad all day. Babies are awesome like that.
I think its great that Jazz is like this, even though its hard for you.
I have no personal experience with this but wanted to share a similar story.
A colleague and I "treated" our boss and his wife to a night out. We arranged and paid for their dinner at a nice place as a way of saying thanks to him for all his help and thanks to her for being so darn patient
Their little girl was really crook this particular night too.
I had little B distracted when they left and she didn't seem to worry about them being gone at all. Yeah she had her grizzles when I had to change her and when she wouldn't go to bed but she didn't "miss" mummy and daddy.
I think its a great gift you have given to Jazz, at least you know you have the freedom to leave her and know that she will not be upset. Surely thats got to be easier then knowing your darling girl's heart is breaking because your not there.
Sometimes I think its harder for the mums, god knows I will be a mess when it comes to my time
first, to me it sounds like she is very secure and you would be surprised what they understand - she knew you were coming back. My DS is the same, will go to perfect strangers, when we have other kids around and the snatch his toys off him he just goes onto the next toy. When dp leaves for work there is no tears or tantrums just a cya's, when I leave I get the same thing.
second, in saying that it does sound like your mummy instincts have been alerted... I have no idea if the lack of empathy, as you put it, is an issue or not maybe something to be aware of. Speak with your GP? or maybe someone will come in and have advice about this.
Oh come on. Babies having empathy? To have empathy you must be able to understand how other people feel - most adults don't display empathy, and babies don't have an understanding of their OWN emotions, they just display them.
Just because a baby doesn't have a favourite toy doesn't mean there is something wrong. None of my children picked a favourite toy until they were about 2-3.
There is nothing worth going to the GP about - totally over the top advice. Sorry K. xoxoxo
Just sounds like secure lil munchkin to me. She knows, mummy is always gonna come back, even if she is gone for now. As for the hugging teddies etc, i cant see why this would be seen as a concern? I would mayb see it as a concern if she was ripping their heads off. lol. She may just show affection in her own little way? I agree with K, if it REALLY is getting to u, ask your GP or ring the MCHN.. just for some advice. Im sure there is a pretty good chance that they will say she is just perfect As mothers, i think we have a tendancy to over analize the situation lol. But its only natural.
MY DD was exactly the same. She runs off to play without even a glance over her shoulder. She goes to people she knows with even a blink of the eye, and rarely cries if i go. If she's hurt she will cuddle the closest person. She has never had one favorite toy. I tried to get her to bond with a special soft toy but she just wasn't into it. It's good though, she'll go to bed cuddling any toy.
This has been changing a little bit as she approaches 2. She sometimes doesn't want me to go. or pretends to be shy. But i think some kids are just like that. I don't think there is anything wrong with my daughter or yours.
DS doesn't have attachment to any toy either I tried to introduce a *lovie* for sleeping / settling purposes and he won't have a bar of it, just rubbing our elbow So with the attachment issue, it is not unusual to not be attached to a toy / object. TBH DD doesn't really have a toy either but she will cuddle the flat out bear in bed.
As for her not *missing* you - great work mummy You have a secure and well adjusted little miss. Once or twice a fortnight is still reasonably regular contact so they would have been familiar and a new toy My DS and DD see my sister infrequently due to distance but *see* her about the same frequency as you via Skype. She looked after them while I was at a funeral and they weren't even vaguely concerned I was gone for a few hours.
Just another thing, baby sitters want to get to babysit again, and want the parents to know that bub was ok while they were away, so sometimes exagerate how 'good' bub was, and how much they enjoyed the babysitting. This might not even be conscious, but they may not have taken notice of things that you would have that means she is thinking of you. just another thought.
From what I've observed with my work, very few children as young as Jazz have seperation anxiety - it normally occurs a bit later - often we have babies who are very settled then once the get past one, decide they don't want their mummies to leave them!
Give her time and she will miss you I am sure!
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