I know I'm new but I could really use some help re tanty's and self harm

[littlelara]

Hi guys,
I know it's pretty early for me to be posting again, but as stated I'm really in need of some advice.
Yesterday my dd (2 weeks shy of 2 yrs) had her first proper all-in tantrum (what a proud moment).
I've been expecting it, but what threw me was that she not only threw herself on the floor, she banged her head deliberately and actually grabbed a clump of her own hair as if she was trying to rip it out.
Seeing the usually happy little girl I love so much trying to hurt herself like that was devastating, and even though she calmed down quite quickly afterwards, it upset me so much that once DP came in and took over I actually left the room and burst into tears (can we just blame pregga hormones for that?)
Has anyone else experienced this? I mean, it can't be normal, can it?
And how do you handle something like that?
Any thoughts would be most welcome,
Thanks
Lara

[~clover~]

I have heard of alot of head bangers & my husband actually used to hold his breath to scare his mum. They all said the same. As hard as it is walk away & ignore it.She is only hurting herself & soon she will realise that not only does it not work, but that it hurts!
My mother in law was so scared she took my husband to the doc & you know what he said? Let him do it till he passes out, not only will his body start breathing again when he does, but it will scare him out of it. Well he only did it once!
It will be hard, but you need her to know that no matter what she does you are boss. She will not get her way no matter what. It sounds harsh doesn't it. But that is how my friends overcame it.
It's up to you if you listen to my advise, but either way good luck & I hope it doesn't last too long!

[Captain]

My DD did this from about 18 months. She would either bang her head against the wall or push herself backwards and fall to the floor. These were terrifying tatrums and I was always worried about her hurting herself.
I ended up having to surround her with pillows or put her in the cot. I would sit with her and talk calmly with her (yes that is one of the most difficult things to do). Eventually she would start to calm down and slowly move closer to me until she was ready for a hug.
It seemed to work for us because she has stopped doing it now. I couldn't leave her because I really believe she could have done some damage to her little head. She still throws herself to the floor but only pretends to bang her head.
Good luck

[littlelara]

Thanks, guys.
I feel a little better

[christy]

It is definately frustrating and heartbreaking to see your beautiful child trying to harm themselves. My daughter Matilda has been throwing self harm tantrums since she was 20 months until... a few weeks ago.

She would breath hold until she passed out. She would run into walls, corners of furniture, into door frames. and she would pull hair out, and thrash around. I found it really hard to watch.

We took everything out of her bedroom except a mattress on the floor and would put her in her room when it happened and I would sit next to the closed door. When she would calm down she would come over for a cuddle. The only way we survived it was having a padded room for her for a few months, then again Matilda threw 3-4 self-harm tantrums a day for a while, then she went down to daily self harm tantrums. Throughout that time she also had normal tanties.

Its heartbreaking but they have to go through it as well. Its part of their development & unfortunately some of them do things that can harm themselves. *hugs* We went for help through our GP and Triple P when things got really bad, I would suggest if they get too hard to handle you find help as well.

[christy]

Lara, how are things going?

[littlelara]

Wow, Christy. That must have been awful for you to go through!
B hasn't really done it since, although the other day she started pulling her hair for no reason at all, and then banging her head on the floor out of nowhere(it was like she wanted to see what would happen). Then she must have realised it hurt cos she started crying and hasn't done anything like it since.
I doubt it's over for good, but it's a start.
Thanks for your input

[krisp]

My DS bangs his head on the floor sometimes too. If he throws a tanty I pick him up and put him in the playroom and walk away. I don't want him to bang his head on the tiles in the kitchen or the floor boards but if he wants to bang his head on the carpet then that's his thing. It only lasts for a few seconds and he realises he's not getting the attention he's after and stops. He's never had a full blown screaming fit though - I'm sure that's all to come!

[christy]

lol I remember the first time Matilda banged her head on the floor I picked up a cushion from the lounge & put it under her head & walked away... that made her really cross.