I say no...he laughs at me and does it again...what do I do?

[amberj]

Clearly the word 'no' and my "serious mummy voice" has become extremely funny in my house. I know DS is not being 'naughty', but just a normal cheeky toddler who is discovering he can push boundaries.

Well today he was pressing the buttons on the Foxtel (why, oh why doesn't it have child lock?????), and I said no, then said no very seriously, then when he continued, I got up and pulled him away and TOTALLY SHOCKED MYSELF by giving his hand a little tap. I've never wanted to touch my child however lightly in anger and I am so surprised I did it! It made me realise I had better think seriously about how I want to discipline my child!

So what do I do? He's only 16 months old, so there is only so much he understands. Obviously he is too young for time-outs. Is there any consequences he will understand, or is it just "no" and then distract?? At what age do you start introducing consequences, and what are they?

[Visitor7]

When I work that one out, I'll let you know! Emily does EXACTLY the same. She thinks it's a game. She's even started disciplining herself! She'll do something she knows she's not supposed to, then say 'uh oh, no, smack!' then smacks her own hand
Good luck, no advice, just sympathy.

[Arimeh]

I just remove DD from the situation or the situation from her. She HATES being reprimanded (I've never had to hit her, just my tone of voice is usually enough to bring her to tears!!) but if I move her away to another part of the room, she cries and knows that she isn't allowed to do it.

[feeb]

LMAO DS is exactly the same I say no he stops looks at me smiles and then does it again!!
His new latest trick is also if told NO or dont touch is to hit his forehead on floor and then cry!!

Intelligence ++++ I tell ya LMAO

Sorry hun no solutions but would love to know some!!

[~clover~]

Let me know too!! I'm not too worried about that sort of stuff really...its more when Jesse's doing things that hurt without realising it. Like pulling the girls hair... they do get in his way, but thats not on!! Oh & biting & scratching & pinching when little friends are touching his things...

[Toomanytoomany]

Distract, and if that doesn't work, remove. It doesn't matter that they laugh at the no - what matters is that there are consequences for not respecting it. Even at sixteen months, they pretty soon get the idea that if touching the button when mummy says no leads to time in the playpen or whatever, it's not such a good thing to do. "No" is just a word - it's the threat of the follow up that makes kids take it seriously.

[skeetaboat]

I agree, he needs a quick and unpleasant consequence when he does something you don't want him to do.

My 2.5 year old emptied some dish washing liquid all over the bench (terrible on my behalf for not putting it away). I said 'that's naughty, why did you do that?' (yeah as if he's going to explain it to me lol). He just loooked at me, smiled, and said 'I empty it mum'. He clearly had no idea that he was doing something wrong, he was just curious. I couldn't keep up my 'serious mum' voice coz it was just so cute and I burst out laughing. So yeah, umm, that's not very helpful to you except a 'what not to do' lol.

Goodluck. It is irritating when they keep doing the same thing over and over!

[Marlene]

I have been going through the exact same thing with Jack. I have been trying time-out, there is no actual "time" out, as he is too young to know he has to sit for a certain amount of time. I put one of those foam play mats in our hallway and when he is doing something he is not supposed to I say "No" twice, then I say "if you do that again you will have to go sit down". (I don't call it a naughty mat). If he does it again I put him on the mat.
When I first started (about a month ago), he would just jump straight up and run off. Then I started putting him back on when he would run off. He definitely knows what it means now, if I put him on the mat he will get upset...he still only sits there for 20 or 30 seconds, but he KNOWS why he is there...and I think that's what matters. As he gets older I will start to extend the time that he HAS TO stay there.
Now when he is being naughty and I say "Stop that or you will have to go sit down" he will usually stop....usually...LOL.

I hope you can get a little something from my experience. If you do want to do time-out 16 months is definitely not too young, you just have to start with small steps.

[kelebek]

"No" is just a word - it's the threat of the follow up that makes kids take it seriously.

I think this is a really good point in saying this it will take a lot of follow up's for them to get it too

DS goes through this stage and I am a pick him up and take him away from the situation and distract in another part of the room and this could be 5 times but eventually he get's bored and is onto the next thing.

Please don't be too hard on yourself for smacking as you have recognised for you that it isn't something you want to do and so you can try and keep that in mind next time to help you avoid it. I smacked DS once (very lightly but he cried in that really heartbroken way) it was not DS fault at all and really pulled me up and I won't do it again. DS had been biting me for weeks anywhere he could get his mouth closed (he was teething on and off) and I was on the phone trying to do a million things when I felt another bite for the day... it was totally instinct - I had reverted to how I was brought up and I didn't like it all.

DS is 19 mnths and a couple of months ago I have introduced the 1, 2, 3 and then I take him away to help him to make the decision I don't do time out yet cause I personally don't think he is old enough to understand but I know lot's of people do.... arr the joys of making those deciscion

[onthefly]

At that age, they may not have the impulse control to stop. They understand no, but they can't stop themselves if they really want to do something. And your reaction is HILARIOUS (apparently).

DS is just now starting to stop himself (sometimes). When he was younger the only thing that really worked was distraction and/or removal (either of him or the thing I didn't want him messing with). I think this is an appropriate 'consequence' for that age.

DS can now understand when I warn him "If you do xxx then xxx will happen" and act accordingly (ok, sometimes...). If he's tired and/or hungry he can't do it at all - just reverts to laughing and compulsively doing whatever it is I've asked him not to. So I have to revert to removal.