I think Im being paranoid, but I need to get it out.

[Fruit Tingles]

DD (14mths) is all go go go all day every day. She doesnt sit down for 5 mins or even have an interest in cuddling with DF and I in bed. She just wants to walk and get into everything. I know this is probably seemingly normal, but its not my biggest problem really.

She seems to be scared of a lot of things. She is scared of the playground, scared of sand, scared of being in a trolley or pram, scared of wearing shoes. I know its also probably normal for some babies to be scared of things, but it doesnt make it any easier

We have taken DD to the park or play centre so she could play with her 3 cousins, who are desperate to play with her, but she wont do anything with them, all she wants to do is be held by me or walked by me, mainly up and down one step, the same step, the whole time.
And if I dare take her away coz I want to relax my back a little, she will cry, and cry, and cry til we go back.
Needless to say, I dont have any fun with DD, and neither does DF. She wont even go near DF unless its on HER terms which is rare, or if she hasnt seen me (so if DF got her up out of bed and i was out of the house).
She wont go to any one but me, if any one tries, she will cry and cry and leap for me.

Sometimes I wonder where I have gone wrong, or if there may be something wrong with her. I know Im probably being paranoid 1st time mummy, but TBH i havent heard of a toddler not liking the playground or toys or even TV for that matter. I see all these babies younger than DD at the playground, walking and playing by themselves (obviously with a adult very close by) going ont he slid, on the swing, and having a ball. DD wont even have a bar of it, and I get so jealous

I just dont know what to do, my back is hurting from carrying a tall 11kg+ toddler all day, or bending over walking with her (holding her hand) DF cant help me coz DD just wont let any one but me near her.
We know she can walk by herself, she just refuses to, and that COULD be because she had a fall 2 days after starting, or it could be coz she is being lazy. She managed to walk just fine to get to a lolly that was sitting on the couch.

I guess Id love to hear from people who have experienced something like this coz seriously it feels like we are the only one with a toddler who doesnt like playgrounds or just having fun in general.

Also is there any way that I can help her anxiety and fears? I would love to get her past this so we can have fun when we do go out to play with her cousins.
We are going to put DD into daycare once a week, and are going to enroll her in things like swimming lessons and gymbaroo type classes, we are hoping these might help but honestly we arent holding our breath

[littlelara]

Jordy is similar in some ways.
He has only just started going to dp in the last week or so (he's 18 months) and even then it's only to say hello and then he's after me.
If I leave the room he howls like someone's trying to kill him, and heaven help me if he doesn't know where I've gone - unless I've left the house. Then, apparently he's ok.
I think the thing that has helped has been dp being the one to get him up more (especially on weekends when he can spend a bit of time, but even getting him breakfast while I sneak off to have a shower) and also at those times he makes an effort to be especially fun; tickling, singing, even throwing him up (but not actually letting go!)
He's also afraid of sand, but ok in the park (although I can't set him free or he eats as much tanbark as possible).
Maybe your bub is just sensitive to stimulus?
You could always ask the mchn
good luck, it's hard always being the one on duty

[BhoysGirl]

.....

[MantaRay]

That sounds really tough for you. It can be so hard to know when behaviours are just their personalities or whether there is something behind them. I would suggest that you take her to a paed and discuss your concerns with them. They can check her out and should be able to tell you whether or not this is unusual. In the meantime, try not worry - babies all have such different personalities, and at 14 months she is still very young. Best of luck hun.

[Santosha]

Hey there. So sorry to hear you've been having a tough time with your little one. I'm just starting on this parenting journey and am discovering for myself all the fears and heartache that seem to inevitably come with the love and joy... it's a really tough job, hey? Big hugs to you hun.

I work with children with developmental issues (I'm a provisional psychologist) and think that from what you've written you're not necessarily just being paranoid - this is unusual behaviour. It may just be a phase - kids do some pretty odd stuff as they develop and try to make sense of their worlds - and I certainly don't want you to think that I'm suggesting that there's reason to panic or think that something is seriously wrong... just that it might be worth chatting to your Pediatrician about it. You're welcome to send me an email - kat.cunningham79@gmail.com if you want to chat about this more. (I'm going to delete this address in about 24 hours so write it down if you want to use it later).


Hope you get some answers.

[Jac]

Just wanted to agree with the last 2 posts. Whilst I'm not suggesting there is anything at all wrong (no one can tell you this without meeting your little one and discussing her behaviour more fully with you) I would also recommend having her checked out by a peadiatrician.
to you. It's so hard when we feel we are not enjoying parenthood as much as we would expect. It does sound like you have been having a difficult time without much opportunity for a break. PM me if you would ever like to chat!

Please let us know how things go. Hopefully this is just a personality phase that your DD will grow out of.

[lestyrox]

Hi babyface, Like some of the other mum's have said i agree that all bubs are different and grow and develop at different rates however having said that some of the things you mentioned your DD does sounds a lot like my DS at the same age. We have only just found out that he has possible Aspergers (waitng for a diagnosis).
My DS used to (and still does) get scared of unusual things and he was never really into climbing the play equipment at the park, he still wont climb those net mesh climbing thingies on most play areas.
You mentioned your DD just wants to go up and down one step and will get upset if you take her away, this sounds like my DS. He usued to go nuts for doors, he would find a door no matter where we were and just want to play with that and if i tried to stop him he'd go balistic. He didn't care about the other kids, he just wanted the dam door Of course alot of bub's at that age do get a bit obsessed with things so its hard to know whats 'normal'.

I think it would be worth talking to the MCHN about. Looking back now there are lots of things DS did that were odd but i just thought it was his age. I now know those things weren't 'normal' and i wish i'd picked up on it sooner.

If you like i could pm you a list of things DS did around that age that were a bit odd and led us to this possible aspergers diagnosis.

I know its hard when you think your gorgeous child might be a bit different. Parenting is hard enough without that added stress.