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Independant Play?
This is more of an observation than a question or concern...
I've always tried to spend a decent amount of time playing with DS each day - reading him a book, playing with his toys together, singing songs, etc.
However, in the last month I've noticed that he really seems more than happy just to play by himself. I'll go to sit and play with him, but he basically ignores me and keeps playing by himself happily, lol. I mean, he enjoys my company and loves doing things with me... but he's also happy to play by himself. It's great, cause it means I can get things done, or (like now) go on BB and just keep an eye on him. But after a while I start feeling a bit bad, like I should be doing more things with him.
I'm guessing this is pretty normal for this age - that DS is able and happy to play alone?
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My DS swings between independent play, and accompanied play, and I let him lead. I know when he has had enough alone time, as the toys start to get thrown and he seeks my attention, so I have to stop, drop and amuse. I personally think it is a good skill for DS to have.
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DS went through a period of time like this at roughly the same age as well. For us, it coincided with his ability to sit up by himself- suddenly he was able to amuse himself quite happily for about 15 minutes. It was delightful!
For us at least, for good or bad, the phase passed, pretty much at the same time as crawling came in- fwiw, this is actually quite common- separation anxiety tends to get worse when they realise they can move away from you (natures way of keeping them under our watchful eye!).
I am hoping for a return of some moments of independent play....please.....
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Right now DS is actually playing with his back to me, lol! Every now and then he just turns around to check that I'm still here.
Amber - DS is crawling, so it looks like (hopefully) I may be lucky enough to have an independent little boy, for now at least.
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He's learning, no matter what he's doing. I'd stick with the reading, 3 books a day if you can, but otherwise, as long as you are talking and making eye contact at various points through the day (especially routine times, like bath time, nappy changes, meal times) then it's fine and normal.
Hearing some music (you singing, or other stuff) and going outside and other stuff like that are also great for him. But I wouldn't worry at all. There is learning in everything.
It's too early to tell if there's anything else to be concerned about. Or to do a great deal about it anyway.
BellyBelly Member
We're the same as Rufalina - DD will be happy for ages now doing her own thing, but she makes it pretty clear when she wants the attention! They don't need to have their own personal entertainer every minute of the day - as long as you're dealing with their needs, don't feel bad that you're able to do other stuff (like be on here!).
Snugglybean - we love sitting down together and reading - though at the moment, I think DD prefers just the job of going and getting a book, and bringing it to me - she sits back down for the first page, and then off she goes for another - we can end up with a big pile of books, and not having finished a story! But she's happy with that, and hey, at least she's getting exposure to books! She'll quite often sit and read a book to herself - you can hear her blah, blah, blahing as she turns the page! Very cute!
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Yay for independant play!! I think personality has a lot to do with it as well. My ds is a very indepandant little man, happier playing byhimself than with me. My BF's DD is the oppisite. You might just have a little one who is happy with hisown company- what a lovely way to be
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DD is the same Sterla!! Just goes about her business chatting to herself, then comes over to me when she's had enough.
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Heaven: I feel like your DD and my DS have a lot in common!
I think I'll have to try and change my perspective - independent play = a good thing, no need to feel guilty.
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They really do!
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I get so excited to read about things like this.
[arm flapping, passionate, slightly off topic rant ahead]
She's learning that different books have different spoken words attached, so beginning to make the connection between words on the page and what you read.
She's learning that books are held a certain way, and that the pages are turned from right to left.
She's learning that you value books and literacy, and possibly beginning to associate them with one-on-one special times and warm fuzzy feelings (Maccas try to create this with Happy Meals. Books are much better!)
BellyBelly Member
Snugglybean - literacy's a huge passion of mine too! (being an english teacher and all!). I remember reading an article about Mem Fox, who gives books out to people with kids in carparks and supermarkets in order to get more kids reading! I think reading is so important - and I think that the value we as parents put on reading passes onto our children - I worked in a very low socio-economic area, and you could tell the kids whose parents didn't care about reading and literacy a mile off - it was so sad, because it opens a whole lot of doors for them later in life - its not simply being able to read a story for enjoyment, its about all the other facets of a person's life where literacy is a vital skill.
Anyway, better let the thread get back on topic!
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SammyRo - We have the same thing! Big piles of books, but barely a completed story!! But I can now name particular books and he will go and find that one book.
Sterla - We used to have the same thing, but I used to be absolutely fascinated by how he played. I could just sit there and watch him for ages and be amazed at what he could do and what he would figure out for himself without anyone showing him. And then he would just practice practice practice!! And the thing is I never felt guilty about this time. I think it was because I was there if he needed me, I was kind of participating because I could watch what he was doing and see what he was learning and then include that in our play together at a later stage.
Now I get frustrated, because it is all about books..... which means I never get the chance to even let the dog out for a drink without a tanty!! But I still look at it all as the overall learning experience and they need to be able to learn all this stuff for themselves (including tanty throwing) to learn how to function in society as they grow up. Just enjoy!
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DS is very independant and has been for a few months now. It does my head in as i just cant get him to sit still long enough to do anything with me. He is much happier to just explore by himself. Im happy to read that this is actually quite normal and not just ds being strange!! If i can just hijack this thread quickly, has anyone got any tips on how to read to a child who just wont sit still to read a book with you? Ds just crawls off if i get a book to read to him. If i sit him in my lap he just wriggles till i let him go and if i show him a book he just closes it!
BellyBelly Member
Isabel - that will be a great thing when you're pg with #2! You'll be glad that you can have a sit down and put your feet up, knowing Lachie will be happy playing!
Maybe just leave a few books in a pile that he can grab himself (make sure they're board books that you don't mind him getting his hands on!). And don't feel guilty if you want to grab a book of your own and read - I've noticed a couple of times I've picked a book up to read, that not long after Alyssa will go grab one of hers and read to herself. Otherwise, just keep trying to read to him for as long as he is happy!
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Sam: It probably wont be such a good thing, he tends to like to "explore" the things he shouldn't be exploring. i was joking with dh that we need about 3 more ottomans in the lounge to put in front of things that he shouldn't touch. Thanks for the tips about reading, he literally stays put for 5 seconds so maybe if i read really fast lol.
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