Independence, it’s good right?

[Epacris]

Just to set the scene. My kids are free range, we live on a quiet street and we are set high up above the road. There is a 1yo and 3yo on one side and a 4yo on the other. My kids are 2yo and 4yo (not including the one attached to the boobie). Anyway the kids have formed a little gang and they play nicely together. All the doors and gates are open and the kids come and go as they please across all the three houses, inside and out. If an adult hasn’t seen or heard them for a while we go and investigate. It works brilliantly, they entertain themselves beautifully.

Last night just before dinner (6pm) my DS1 informed me that he had been invited to dinner next door and that he was going. I didn’t know anything about it and I said “No, we’d like you to stay here and have dinner with us”. He said, “Well, I’ve been invited and I’m going”. I didn’t think he would actually just up and leave, it was dark outside. But he rummaged through some stuff, found himself a torch and promptly left (with bare feet and no jacket)! He’s only 4! This is good right?

ETA: I should add, he went straight over to next door and made himself at home. None of the kids ever wander off, I never worry about that. When the 4yo next door had some friends over they were initially playing up near the house but some time later they started to wander off down the street. My DS1 immediately recognised what was happening and went to get an adult for help.

[Tinks]

I think it's lovely that he feels comfortable going to the neighbours house. It's probably not so good that he disregarded what you asked him to do (or not do). It's a tough one.

[Epacris]

Yeah, Tinks, they were my thoughts exactly.

[*Ash*]

I think he was very resourceful to find a torch before he left.

[Epacris]

Yeah that too ash, because shoes and jacket are totally unnecessary when you’re 4!

[*Ash*]

It seems that shoes are totally unnecessary in my neck of the woods, even when you're 44!
Clearly, the torch was the safety priority. No shoe and jacket = frozen feet and body. No torch= falling over and breaking your neck!

[onthefly]

sounds very mature and responsible for his age

[Gigi]

I think it's lovely that he feels comfortable going to the neighbours house. It's probably not so good that he disregarded what you asked him to do (or not do). It's a tough one.

exactly my thoughts too.

your street sounds so nice. Real Community. i thought it only existed in movies.

[deletedit]

Haha if we had more kids on the street (our street is mostly old farts) my 3.5yo would do that. She's shockingly independent, the worst she's done is leave a crowded restaurant on an extremely busy street while everyone was getting up to leave (very big birthday gathering) and took herself back to the car parked a few blocks away in a strange city. Noone noticed her leave. Fortunately a passer by noticed the small child on the tramline in the middle of the very busy road (Jetty Rd Glenelg on a Saturday night, for the Adelaide people) and rescued her. She was 2.5 at the time.

She tries similar things fairly often, we constantly lose her because we're talking to ourselves about going shopping or something and she overhears, goes out, unlocks the car, and sits expectantly in it (and then gets bored and fiddles with all the buttons in the car). She's made mention of really wanting to go to childcare a few times and I'm dreading the day she decides she's just going to up and walk there herself, it is a good 6 blocks away on the other side of several busy roads and a train line.

My eldest is the reverse, she's very lacking on initiative and will ask to do the simplest things (but won't ask things she needs help with or permission for) and it drives me insane. I think I'd prefer kids somewhere in between.