I am so over the damn tantrums

**aussienic** · January 25th, 2011, 06:24 PM

Why does she do it? Miss Olivia was 3 in November and I have never had a child that screams, yells and carries on like she does.

Is it because she is the youngest? because she is a girl with 3 brothers??

Right now she is screaming her head off over something or another. I am exhausted from fighting with her all the time.. On Saturday she tantrummed for 14 hours.. YES I said 14 hours it wasn't for 14 complete hours but every half hour or so she would scream and yell at me and it would last for around an hour each time..

Most times I remain calm and ignore it sometimes I get down to ger level and try and ask what is wrong and then sometimes I just lose it and yell and she gets a smack on her bum..

I figure this week it is because of the change in the house with the boys at school.. She is ok during the day but as soon as they get home she starts

I am now sitting on her bed with her while she screams at me and kicks me and yells about something. Apparently I have the wrong blanket

Sigh.. Is anyones elses 3 yr old like this? I feel like we can't do anything right.. Wrong cup, spoon, fork, plate.. Even shoes if I happen to just grab a pair as we walk out of the house a tantrum will brew because oh my they were the wrong ones

She wakes so early screaming for food most mornings. Usually 5am sometimes as late as 6.. She has taken to screaming so loud she wakes the whole house up..

help me with some strategies or something to deal with it

also she has great speech and communication skills (normally) but when she is like this nothing pleases her

ps she is still going and its been over 10 minutes (short for a change but Im tired)

**Arcadia** · January 25th, 2011, 06:30 PM

no advice... Sounds more than challenging, but also pretty normal I imagine.

do you drink wine? If so now would be a good time to try and unwind (when she's asleep!!)

**aussienic** · January 25th, 2011, 06:33 PM

i am having a glass of scotch lol..

She is still screaming. She was actually kicking the walls just now which she got told off for

I wish I could hand it over to Dh cus I can feel my temper flaring up.. He did this with her last night so its not fair to ask him to deal with it 2 nights in a row..

Agghhhh

**ezymay** · January 25th, 2011, 06:37 PM

Big hugs!! I have no advice, I have a two year old that loses it regularly. It's so hard

last night dd was having a tantrum whilst the dog was having a fit and dh who doesn't live with us was trying to call!!

**aussienic** · January 25th, 2011, 07:00 PM

She is finally asleep.. I ignored it for ages but I am tired and snapped. I yelled back (didn't help) and smacked her bottom (didn't help either) or make me feel better

Eventually she realised she wasn't getting my attention apart from when I yelled and very quietly asked me Mummy will you huggle me.. so I did and she was asleep in 2 minutes..

**Calluna** · January 25th, 2011, 08:17 PM

Take this with a (LARGE) pinch of salt, because I haven't got a 3 year old lol

Have you tried giving her a choice where possible? ie she has to wear shoes so you offer her two pairs and she chooses one of those, it gives her a bit of control over the situation but in the end you get the result you want.

other than that

it can be so so tiring (I used to work with 3 year olds, but never had to deal with anything like your describing, usually only one or two tanties a day. lol)

**aussienic** · January 25th, 2011, 08:25 PM

Oh definelty.. Nearly everytime we go out I get her to grab what she wants but if we are in a rush and she is already out the door with Dad I just grab whatever shoes are closest. But yeh we do give her choices. Even with clothes. I pick 2 outfits and ask her which one she will want.. half the time she is happy to go with whatever but if she is in a mood she will yell NO and scream and run off to her room and choose something that is either too small (kept for dollies) or really bad choice for the weather,

I used to work with 3yr olds too and could handle them just fine but of course not being their parent they never did anything like this

None of my boys have had tantrums on this scale. They tantrummed of course and still do but not like this...

**Calluna** · January 25th, 2011, 08:41 PM

Oh definelty.. Nearly everytime we go out I get her to grab what she wants but if we are in a rush and she is already out the door with Dad I just grab whatever shoes are closest. But yeh we do give her choices. Even with clothes. I pick 2 outfits and ask her which one she will want.. half the time she is happy to go with whatever but if she is in a mood she will yell NO and scream and run off to her room and choose something that is either too small (kept for dollies) or really bad choice for the weather,

I used to work with 3yr olds too and could handle them just fine but of course not being their parent they never did anything like this

None of my boys have had tantrums on this scale. They tantrummed of course and still do but not like this...

I totally get what you mean, Kids behave SO much better for anyone but thier parents...

**OceanPrincess** · January 25th, 2011, 08:37 PM

My almost 2yo has some killer tantrums... So big

I know how hard it can be. Once I just had to let her go... She screamed herself hoarse just about. Sometimes she doesn't even know what she is getting upset about, it is so tough!

I read a good book recently - or parts of it

- called The Science of Parenting and it talks a bit about tantrums, might be worth having a read?

I will have a look at my copy and come back to you tomorrow some time!

**Ambah** · January 25th, 2011, 09:01 PM

Just subbing so I remember to come back & reply.
My DD turns 3 in 2 weeks, and I've had very similar issues with her, so I can really sympathize- it's horrible!!
I actually went to some triple P appointments with my XP because of this... and we were given some good strategies to deal with her behaviour. Anyways, I'm on my phone atm, but will be back.