thank you everyone for your suggestions.

The drain is ruled out as i take her to the louge room dry and dress her then go back for DD1 then take the plug out so Bellah doesnt actually know there is a hole lol

I will get one of those shower hoses and see if that makes a difference, I wont put her in my shower as its crap!! Its either freezing cold or boiling hot and constantly changes i think that would put her off more!

I thought it was because i still used her bath seat but i tried without that and ive tried bubbles/no bubbles

I might try having a bath with her too, it may help show her its a safe place nothing scary

thank you again