Resettling between sleep cycles - HELP!

[Mumma T]

My DS is now 14 weeks, and we are having absolutely no luck in extending his day sleeps past 1 x 40 min sleep cycle. We can get 2 of these a day generally, unless he is being held or worn.

Baby wearing for his sleeps isn't feasible as I find the extra weight too much for my dodgy ankle. And sitting holding him for hours on end obviously won't work either.

It is definitely a resettling issue as I Have tried going back to swaddling, sleeping bag, more blankets, feeding to sleep. Everything I can think of.

DS has no problem self settling for the original sleep and for bedtime, he must resettle himself overnight as he sleeps 7 pm til 7am.

Does anyone have any suggestions of getting him resettled enough to fall asleep for a second sleep cycle?

[Santosha]

Does he get upset as soon as he wakes? I had a cat-napper and TBH not a lot but time actually changed things. But something a nurse suggested did make sense to me and helped a bit along the way... If they wake happy, leave them to play for a while. At least then they get 'rest' in a darkened room for a longer period instead of being straight back into a stimulating environment. It also communicates to the body that the down time is longer than 40 mins with the hope that as they naturally fall into more of a routine, that say, 9-10am they're used to being in bed.

I also found that SOMETIMES, being there as he stirred I could pat, shhh or cuddle him through to the next sleep cycle and so would watch the clock and go in a few mins before.

Ultimately though, the thing that helped me most was to let it go. I stressed so much about his sleep for about 6 months and all I achieved was that. Stress. His sleep just gradually improved over time on its own. Of course, I hope you find something that does the trick for you. Long naps are well worth working for... but if he persists with the cat nap, take heart, it'll change eventually.


Oh and 7-7??!!! Sheesh. That's great! Can he come and have a chat to my 13 month old?

[~Trish~]

How I don't miss those good 'ol 40 minute sleep cycles lol! With DS2 I would sneak into his room a few minutes before the 40 minute sleep cycle was up. I stayed out of sight and as soon as he stirred a tiny bit (he'd sigh) I started patting him gently, this would help him go back to sleep. But only sometimes, it didn't guarantee he'd keep sleeping. Probably one of his sleeps a day it would work.

With DS1, he slept in a hammock so it was easy to go in and bounce him back to sleep when he stirred. DD responded to nothing I tried, she just woke up after 40 mins and I ended up just going along with it. I couldn't do anything else, so I decided not to stress about it and it all worked out fine .

[buffy1]

Hey BubbaT

Wow, 14 weeks already?? Amazing!

I share your pain - I have a chronic 45-min day napper. Like your little one, she goes down fine at bed time and sleeps quite well overnight.

When I went to sleep school the nurses said some babies are just like that (especially at 3-4 months - so much to see and do!) but tend to grow out of it as they become more active and can tire themselves out.

I used to really stress about it but now I just go by her behavior. If she wakes happy and alert, I get her up. If she wakes crabby, I cuddle or try a top-up feed and sometimes she goes back to sleep. Otherwise I just keep putting her down as soon as I see tired signs. I don't care if that means 4-5 naps a day, at least she's getting as much sleep as I can encourage.

Have also found that a consistent nap routine helps. Maybe find one thing that signals bed time to your DS and stick with it.

Try not to stress, you can do just about everything but 'sleep' them! Good luck hon.

[Mumma T]

Santosha

Does he get upset as soon as he wakes? No not usually. He usually has a look around the room first and cries out when he wants attention.

leave them to play for a while. At least then they get 'rest' in a darkened room for a longer period instead of being straight back into a stimulating environment. It also communicates to the body that the down time is longer than 40 mins with the hope that as they naturally fall into more of a routine, that say, 9-10am they're used to being in bed. - Yeah this might be a good idea.


Oh and 7-7??!!! Sheesh. That's great! Can he come and have a chat to my 13 month old? If only it was that easy

How I don't miss those good 'ol 40 minute sleep cycles lol! With DS2 I would sneak into his room a few minutes before the 40 minute sleep cycle was up. I stayed out of sight and as soon as he stirred a tiny bit (he'd sigh) I started patting him gently, this would help him go back to sleep. But only sometimes, it didn't guarantee he'd keep sleeping. Probably one of his sleeps a day it would work.

I have tried this but all I managed to do was wake him accidently oops.

I used to really stress about it but now I just go by her behavior. If she wakes happy and alert, I get her up. If she wakes crabby, I cuddle or try a top-up feed and sometimes she goes back to sleep. Otherwise I just keep putting her down as soon as I see tired signs. I don't care if that means 4-5 naps a day, at least she's getting as much sleep as I can encourage.

I am thinking this might be my best option. Especially after speaking to one of my girlfriends this afternoon and her saying she had exactly the same problem and never did manage to get her little One to sleep more than half hour at a time.

Thanks Ladies

[Aussiegirl777]

Does he use a dummy? I did the same as a couple of the other girls. I used to go into his room just before he was due to come out of a cycle and in my case, I'd put his dummy back in. It seemed to do the trick and off he'd go again. DS has always only used his dummy at sleep time. He's 17 months old now, he's a great sleeper but I know that if I go into his room at 5am and pop his dummy back in that he will more than likely sleep until 8am instead of 7am.

[Mumma T]

Yeah he does use a dummy but only about half the time, it doesn't seem to make much difference either way now since he has found his hands as he just sucks on them if dummy is missing.

I spoke to one of my girlfriends this afternoon and she said her 10mnth old still only naps. I think we will just go with lots of naps instead. Little poppet brought me to tears for the first time.

[buffy1]

Oh hon, it's so frustrating - I know exactly how you feel. You're not alone! Cheeky monkeys.

[veus]

Hey!

Just want to let u know DD was a 30min ON THE DOT napper until recently. She's now nearly 1. I used to stress abt it coz I thought she wasn't getting ebuf but she seemed fine with it. One way I used to get her back to sleep (if I think she really needs it that day) is to sleep with her. We co-sleep anyways but during the day if I sleep with her sometimes I get 1.5hr nap in for her. Not consistently. Or a top-up feed.

What I find with dd, dunno whether personality or just part of growing up, she chooses how much she wants to nap unless specifically interrupted. Nowadays she can do 2.5hr by herself sometimes. But there are days when she run on 1/2 hr nap for the whole day.

I ended up just not trying to control it and just going along with it. Good luck!

[Three Graces]

Yep, we had DS1 who did the 40 min naps in his first year. Drives you nuts, doesnt it? Sleep school helped his night sleeps, but he was a reflux baby and just had to outgrow the day sleeps (no matter how hard I tried to re-settle him). With DD this year (4.5months old) I've just got her into a good day sleeping routine. I ended up buying Sleep Right, Sleep Tight off ebay with DS2 and have been reading it again lately. She got into a sleep association of being fed to sleep and then when they come to the end of a sleep cycle, they will want the same thing that got them off to sleep initially (boob/dummy/being held etc) and if it's not present, then they wake up instead of rolling into the next sleep cycle. Sooo, not being able to slip into her room and put a boob back in her mouth after 40 mins, she tended to wake up quite a bit.

I've found what's helped the most was recognising her early sleep cues (mainly jerky arms, hands behind her ear/s, moving head to the side and avoiding eye contact) and then doing the wind down time by either lying her on my bed or the change table and softly singing the same song to her, before putting her into her bassinet.
We're also doing the 'Feed, play, sleep' cycle, so she gets a feed as soon as she's up, then play time then sleep time and I've stopped putting her on the boob before she sleeps. Initially I had to sit next to her and shhh and gently pat her off to sleep and now I can place her in her bed and leave the room and probably 8 out of 10 times, she'll go off, which means there's no longer a sleep association that she's relying on when she wakes after 40 mins. However, if I miss the early tired cues and she starts to yawn or cry, foget it. She's impossible to get down. It took lots and lots of repetition and a solid week or two at home to get there and I can now hear her on the monitor with a startled cry and a grissle at 40 mins and then silence again and she usually can sleep for another hour or two afterwards. Magic!!!

[Mumma T]

I am off to the mchn today so they can book me a home visit with the sleep and settling lady do I can rule out me doing the wrong thing.

At least DS has woken up happy

[buffy1]

Good luck Bubba, hope it helps.

For what it's worth, I bet you're not doing anything wrong glad your little man is smiling.

[Mumma T]

Thanks Buffy

The sleep & settling lady is coming on Monday to do a home visit. So glad she could get me in quickly.

I am so grateful I have great mchn's round here, they are so supportive