I am doing it third time around and still feel the same as you! All three of them are so different. With dd1 I could work out what she wanted. Dd2 had colic so it was tricker, she ended up with a dummy for when she was really bad, other times she didn't want it. Both dh and I found it hard as she took a long time to settle at night and we couldn't take her out as she just screamed.

With ds he is obsessed with his dummy, and I seem to take a bit to work out what he wants. He has mild colic,he settles a bit easier than dd2 did.

You would think by now I would have it all worked out.