Should I wake her?

[MrsFabuloso]

My DD's routine sems to have changed again, for the worst!
Firstly she doesn't sleep very well in the day time, so I am reluctant to disturb her if she does go down.
She has now started to sleep in the arvo from between 3-7ish (not the whole time, but sleeping in between those hours, usually for 1-3 hrs- her best sleep of the day!...) She wakes in the evening and no amount of resettling gets her back to bed. So that means that she goes to bed at 9 or 10pm. Only to wake at 1or 2am for a feed, then again at about 6-7am.
She used to go down by no later than 8.30, usually 7.30ish and sleep til about 2am for a feed, then 6-7.
My question is that if she goes to sleep at this time, should I wake har after an hour or so, so that she will go to bed at a more reasonable hour?
For example tonight she went down at 6.00 and she's still sleeping. I don't know if I should let her sleep in the hope she will sleep through or if I should wake her and try to put her down again at 8.30ish?

[{sarah}]

It it were me, I would let her sleep then give her a dream feed when I go to bed. If you wake her up does she get cranky? I'd be worried about that too!

It's so hard isn't it?!

[MrsFabuloso]

I don't know if she'd be grumpy I've never woken her before! She does sometime wake grumpy herself though.
I didn't wake her and she's woken herself twice screaming. I must mention that she's started teething so she's pretty out of sorts. I don't know!!.....

[Rachel]

Hi Kellie...I've had this dilemma in the past too, what time did she last feed? Generally for us, if DD has fed after 5pm then we just leave her to sleep and she generally wakes between 2 and 4am for a feed and then goes back down until the morning. I'm assuming (I know you should never assume) but if she went down at 6 that she had fed not too long before. If her feed was earlier then I would let her wake and then feed her and get her back down. Our DD doesn't sleep so well in the day either but has started having a better nap in the late afternoon - i let her go as I find if we try to keep her up she just gets really tired and grumpy and then doesn't feed well so then wakes earlier through the night because she is hungry. It is so hard i know....they really should come with custom made manuals! Good luck with it all.

[paradise lost]

Does she have a fixed bedtime? I had "rules" with smee. Bedtime (from 5 weeks onwards) was after her 8pm feed. So the 8pm routine went bath, story/feed (at the same time), lullaby, lights out. I stuck to that rigidly. I'm not going to pretend that SMee always went off to sleep then, or that i never had evenings where she'd need re-settling every hour or so, and i fed her as often as she wanted in between so when she was teething and fretful it was sometimes work for me to stick to it, BUT i did find it provided both of us with a framework.

She knew at 8pm (still now, although it's all a bit earlier nowadays) it was bedtime. Bedtime never equalled abandonment for her (i never left her if she was upset i mean) and i really got the impression that even when she was fretful, going through the motions of bedtime actually helped, if not settling her, making her more secure in her day, does that make sense? Even now, i sometimes put her down and she's bouncing about and XP will go "oh but she's not tired" and i reply "bedtime is bedtime" and that is that. I go in if she gets wild and lay her down with her bedtime lamb and whisper "it's bedtime" but apart from that i leave her to it. In the main she's a great sleeper.

And it really helped/s me to know what i was doing next. So if she screamed all afternoon/evening i KNEW at 8pm i'd start bedtime which provided a great relief from the just-trying-everything-to-get-her-to-stop routines of the daytime.

Every baby and family is different but i guess i'd set a bedtime in my head and stick to it. Be prepared for her not to fit to it at first. If your bedtime routine is elaborate (our takes 40 minutes minimum) she'll have plenty of warning. From this point of view i think i'd wake her about 5pm if she's sleeping and have play/feed/bath/story - whatever you do at bedtime in your house, and then back to bed in pyjamas etc. at your decided "bedtime". It takes time to set up a routine but ultimately it saves time when the bubs is expecting the next part of the day.

HTH and if it didn't just ignore me. You and your too-lovely, womb-awakening child....

Bx

[MrsFabuloso]

LOL, hoobley!! Too funny, if you could only be here at bed time, then she might not be so womb awakening for you, hehe.

She did end up sleeping through for me thank goodness! But she woke a few times crying. I bf her both times and she settled again, but was quite restless for a few hrs. She slept til about 1.30 woke for a feed and then woke at 5.45, so she had a really good sleep. And now she's back in bed, so all is good. Though those before 6.30 woke ups are killers for me!

I did have a good routine going for quite a few weeks, feed, having cuddles in her rocking chair then rocking her to sleep. But she's really thrown that out the window. She knows if I sit in the rocking chair with her she's going to bed and screams blue murder! I can't even sit there to read to her during the day anymore, little monkey!

I bath her in the morning, but maybe I should change that to a night time bath to start a new routine for beddy byes. She just keeps changing. WHen I think things are going well everything changes.

My DH doesn't get the routine and sticking to the same lead up to rest times. I am flexible for her and don't stick to an actual ROUTINE but I try to make the day flow pretty much the same for her. DH would just leave her in her rocker or on the playmat if he could for her to put herself to sleep. But that just makes her over tired and really grumpy. I think when I leave her with him, that's what he does and it's part of the reason why she keeps changing so much! It does always seem to coincide with me leaving her with him for a few hours!! Maybe it's just coincidence, but........

Oh well we'll figure it out I guess! Thanks girls

[paradise lost]

WHen I think things are going well everything changes.

I said that to my dad once about Smee and he said "welcome to parenthood" LMAO!

It sounds like she's just having a restless phase. Is she having a growth spurt just now at all? You say she's teething, maybe it's just that?

Smee find's a bedtime bath relaxing, but that's a very individual thing. Bedtime is a nice time for massage too, if you have a baby-massage book. It's not difficult (quite intuitive really, once you get into it) and can make them really snoozy.

Bx

[Snacks]

Hey Kellie, maybe she's trying an earlier bedtime for herself? Natalie sleeps well in the early evening these days, usually in bed by 7pm. That's when I get some me-time
Don't know if that's the case for you, but I think for us it was around 3 months that we started the earlier bedtime, based on her cues.
I am NO expert on sleeping though. Your nights sound lovely to me LOL. Natalie is still very wakeful overnight... Please feel free to ignore me

[MrsFabuloso]

I know I shouldn't complain. She does sleep well at night once she's down, I just didn't want her changing her routine to being awake until 11pm or later!! I don't get much done in the day time because she doesn't sleep well unless she's on me, so I do it all at night. I need that time to do the washing and stuff! And I am a person who needs sleep and thankfully she does let me sleep well.

[Snacks]

OMG, Kellie, I'm sorry I didn't mean that to sound like you shouldn't complain! Far out, do it as much as you want, LOL, I certainly do!!! I just meant that I'm not the most qualified person to give sleep-saving advice
Hopefully you and Lily find a pattern that suits you both soon

[MrsFabuloso]

Don't worry I didn't take offence!!
I just think there's probably some people reading this post thinkign 'what are you complaining about I'd give my right arm for a bub who sleeps so much!!!!'. The only reason I'm asking is to try to prevent her getting into bad habbits! I just wish she'd choose a pattern and stick to it LOL!