Should I be worried about my child being over demanding?

[Mum2boy]

I am a single mum and have been living with my parents since my sons birth 18 months ago.

Whilst it's awesome to have the help, part of me is getting concerned that Cooper may be getting so much attention, that I fear that he is becoming overdemanding. If I am not paying attention to him, either one of my parents are playing with him, or doing something with him.

He will play in the living room by himself only sometimes, and generally one of us is nearby. I am noticing that he is often demanding attention from one of us, and once again, this is fine when we can give it, but sometimes he won't play by himself when we are even in the room next door.

We have been going to mothers group since he was 3 months old, and Cooper has always been very demanding. He doesn't cope well when he is teething, and is extra demanding. There have been a few months where he was happy to play with the other kids, but the last 2 times we have been, he has slapped the other toddlers face, probably counted about 5 times!

SO, you can understand why I am thinking that this might be related to him getting so much attention from home, and when we are out, he demands mine a lot.

Can anyone suggest what I should do? I have tried telling my parents a few times that he needs to learn to play by himself, but you know how much grandparents love having fun with the grandchildren!! They are trying, but I am getting confused with what is the best way to deal with this.

Thanks!

[~Trish~]

Your little boy sounds like a lucky little man! It must be wonderful for him to have so many loving people to play with! TBH he sounds like a very normal 18 month old. Most are very demanding of your attention so it's hard to say if it's because he is being entertained so much. It is very normal for them to be extra-demanding while teething too.

Every child is different and some are more happy to entertain themselves than others. You could give him little activities to do on his own to encourage him to play by himself, maybe try and do this at least once a day so he becomes used to it. Tell your parents that it's his time now, but they can play with him again in 5/10 minutes (whatever time you decide is enough).

But honestly, he sounds pretty normal to me

[morgan78]

Hi Mum2boy i had similar concerns with Alex around that age and even now he has days were he wants someone to play with him all day but i think that we sometimes compare them to other children who aren't as lucky as ours to have someone able to give so much time to them. They are only little for such a short time and before you know it they will be embarrassed to be seen with mum. And i agree with Trish at this age they are very demanding.
Does he like drawing/painting as i find this is a good activity where i watch while doing other things but he is amusing himself with the colours.
Your doing a great job and are very lucky to have parents supporting you.

[Amity]

I live with my parents too, and I'm single as well, and I often feel like telling my mum to leave the bl&*dy kids alone to play themselves for a while! She seems to think that they need CONSTANT attention, ie I shouldn't be leaving the room... which is a little annoying. However she did manage to raise four of us, so I shouldn't complain...

But I keep thinking of how it will be different when I have my own place - I won't be giving them attention 100% of the time, because I'll have to do housework and things, so they should be left to their own devices a fair part of the time, just to get used to it.

Having said that, I don't think your son, at 18 months, is overly demanding. Perhaps a day a week of childcare or occasional care to help with interacting with kids instead of adults? Mine have been in daycare since they were 13 weeks old, as I had to go back to work, so they've always had other kids as well as adults to interact with.

Thinking of you. Come and join us in the single parent threads - we're friendly!