Gay Toddlers?

[mirandad]

Can a 4 yr old show signs of homosexuality? I am asking because I caught my son in his bed under the covers with a neaighbor's son. They both had their pants off and erections. ( which is weird to me anyhow cause they are only 4 damnit! haha) I told them to put their pants back on and later pulled my son aside to ask what they were doing in the bed with their pants off. He told me they were kissing butts and putting weewees ( his word for a penis) on butts. Now I know some people say homosexuality is something you are born into and not always a decision. I am just wondering if that is the case then could this be a sign my son may grow up to be homosexual. My friend spanked her son liberally, but I am not threatened by the thought of a gay child as much as she is. I simple explained to my son that he is not supposed to take his clothes off in bed with other children, boys or girls. BTW I am a woman in a straight marriage and he has never been around anyone that I know that is homosexual.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

At that age, it's normal experimentation. Although I don't find it normal and wonder what on earth made them think to do it: at 4 my sister slept naked with her "boyfriend" because "the grown-ups do it so we will". So what has one or the other child seen to imitate?

I'd have done the same as you, but also talked to the other mother about what her son sees. I know I've had to tell DH off for slapping my backside and telling me I look "sexy" in front of DS because it's not appropriate behaviour in front of such a small child. I would hate for DS to copy that with any other child!

[mirandad]

Well my neaighbor said that her DH sometimes watches porn and her only guess is that somehow her son had managed to see some by walking by when he was supposed to be in bed or something. I am not sure who initiated it so I can't be sure if that is the case. When I found him in his bed alone half naked and stimulated I knew it was jsut curiousity, but this was jsut a little too weird.

[Tinks]

I think all kids do something like this at one stage or another. It's great that he told you exactly what was going on. He should be praised for that. You should have a talk to him about what is appropriate play and what isn't. We have a rule in our house that if a game involves someone taking their clothes off it's not to be played and a parent is told straight away.

[Shades]

Um... I'd be quite concerned - not so much about the experimentation, because I understand that to be quite normal, but the knowledge of 'what goes on' seemed somewhat too specific for me to be comfortable with it... I'd be very worried about where they got the info from - I think that's way too much to have been learned just from accidentally walking past a tv showing porn.

[Kazmar]

Experimentation etc is very normal But it does sound asthough something else may be going on. Not so with your son, maybe the other boy?
Dont be to concerned just keep an eye and ear out incase anything else said or done is a little out of the ordinary
At this age experimentation will happen with boy or girl doesn't mean they're 'attracted' to the other person
Also I had no idea a boy could get an erection at such a young age!

[Beth-n-Sara]

I work in child care and this kind of behavior is quite common in 4-5 year olds. But the level of understanding dose seem a bit high.
Sounds like you already have fantastic open communication with your son
Hopefully he will come to you if this child dose something that makes them uncomfortable.

And for what its worth- Yeah, I think I new I was gay at a very young age (around 5-6)

[squidipa]

Um... I'd be quite concerned - not so much about the experimentation, because I understand that to be quite normal, but the knowledge of 'what goes on' seemed somewhat too specific for me to be comfortable with it... I'd be very worried about where they got the info from - I think that's way too much to have been learned just from accidentally walking past a tv showing porn.

I have to agree.

EDIT
I just want to ADD another thing Well done mom for your calm actions and explanation to your son. And for loving him and being supportive either way eaier said than done iykwim . Your a great mother and should take a moment to relaise how great your actions were well done !!!!

[willow5]

I think you did a great job handling the situation and the fact that your son told you straight out what they were doing shows you're doing a fantastic job with him.
I think the behaviour it's self is pretty normal but like other posters have said would keep an eye on the other little boy as the explanation was very explicit for a 4yr old, could be that he hears adults making completely inappropriate comments or it could be something more, worth watching just in case.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Um... I'd be quite concerned - not so much about the experimentation, because I understand that to be quite normal, but the knowledge of 'what goes on' seemed somewhat too specific for me to be comfortable with it... I'd be very worried about where they got the info from - I think that's way too much to have been learned just from accidentally walking past a tv showing porn.

That was my first thought. I have a feeling there is a little more going on and i think you should keep an eye on the boy next door, what he knows isn't normal not at his age. If something similar happens again i would pull his mother aside and say what the hell?? i am saying this because something bad happened to my sister when she was a kid and this just shouts that something isnt right.

[Jennifer13]

Like the other girls, I'd be worried about where this small child got his information from. It is one of the early signs of abuse, that a child seems familiar with sexual behaviour that they would not normally be and role plays sexual situations. I would either have a word with the other mother or keep a close eye on the little boy and your DS. Read up on some of the other signs and stay alert.

There is nothing untoward about exploring their bodies (alone or with a friend), but there is no way a small child would know where his penis 'goes' yet.