My kids have never slept anywhere away from me & DH. DS1 is 3 and the bubba is only 6 months. Breastfeeding did stop us letting him stay with his nana & pa, but I also just know that he wouldn't handle sleeping away from us. And I don't think I would sleep very well if he wasn't here because I would be stressing about him. Hopefully one day soon.
DD1 has had 1 sleep over with Nanna (i think) and that was within the last yr.
With DD2 it's been hard as she was BFing and a little funny to settle at night so that did affect my options of letting her stay somewhere, now though i would happily send her off for a sleepover with Nanna, SIL or to my cousins, i would also entrust her to you if the need ever arose
I'm at the point know where even though i know DD2 might be funny to get to sleep with someone else if i trusted they would do whats right for her, comfort her and wouldn't get angry with her not sleeping then i would probably still allow them to have her for a sleepover, but i wouldn't just hand her over to someone i thought might get frustrated IYKWIM.
My DD started having sleep overs with her dad (we aren't together) and my parents around 18 months old. She was still breastfed to sleep (and still is now at 2.5) and was waking quite frequently for me but she was always happy to settle in other ways for them and obviously was/is very comfortable with her dad and her grandparents. Her dad used to rock her to sleep in an ergo, my mum lays with her till she falls asleep which is now what her dad does also.
I hate sharing her haha but she has so many people who love her and so many people she loves that all want to spend time with her so I hold back the tears till I'm driving away. I was only okay with it because I knew they respected the same parenting ideas as me and I am only 10min drive away so if I was ever needed, I could get back quick (I haven't ever been required to return till the next day though lol). She stays at her dad's once a week and my parents probably once a month although I'm sure my mum would steal her more if I let her! I personally was really worried at first but I now think it is good she has such a range of people whom she can find comfort and security with, if I was ever in an emergency situation where I couldn't care for her (illness or something) then I know there are other people there to pick up the slack. Although it sucks because I literally feel like I'm missing a limb when she isn't around, I know she is lucky to have people who are just as keen on her as I am.
She is a really confident little toddler and I think the whole comforted sleeping thing helped to create this rather than hinder it so breastfeeding etc never really led to me wanting to delay things. It is a bit of a unique situation though as her dad and I had obviously been together for the first year of her life so she had already gotten used to settling for him etc which I guess helped ease her into spending a night away from me, her dad also still lives in the apartment we used to. DD and I also stayed with my parents for a few months after her dad and I seperated, she has her own room there with a bed and things so it is a pretty familiar environment. I'm very close to my parents so we have seen them regularly her entire life (my mum stopped by almost everyday for the first 6 months of her life on the way home from work and every few days for the next year haha).
Currently, everyone is "fighting" over who gets to have her when I go into labour lol.
My first DD would have had her first sleepover with my mum quite young, we were in an attached granny flat & bottlefeeding from early on. So only a couple of months, I think.
First friend sleepover was about 7.
The boys would have only been a few months too, by then we lived apart from mum but still very close & saw her several times a week. DS2 was BF to 14 mths but I'm sure he had a sleepover before weaning, can't recall how we did it but I probably would have expressed or comp fed formula.
First sleepover at about 11 for DS1, but he was a bedwetter so that was a big factor there. DS2 is 9 & had his first slumber party this year.
Pie has never slept away from me or DH at the same time and we have no real plans to yet...we dream of a weekend away but in reality it will be a while before I'm happy to leave her, and it will probably be with DD1. We haven't got the family here, my mother hasn't had anywhere near enough contact with her for me to be happy leaving Pie with her (ITMS).
2 and 10months when I had DS. Mum and Dad took her home with them for the week. Mum knows how much trouble I had had getting her to settle so dad slept in the spare room the entire week and she slept with mum. Great sleep had by all apparently.
Before that I hadn't seen any real need to have her away.
Her first friend sleep over was this last year (so 5) but she's still wetting overnight so it was at a good friend of mine's.
DS only had his first sleepover with DH in October lol when I took myself away for the weekend.
DS had a sleep over at my parents' place when he was about 14 months - but that was more because he was being babysat, and my parents go to bed earlier and preferred to have him overnight than us waking them at midnight to collect him!!
but for normal slumber parties etc, he's obviously way too little
My DS1 has had a couple of sleepovers at Nana and Pa's (my mum n dad) but I think he was almost 2 when he first slept away. We went to a wedding when he was about 15 months and just weaned and my mum stayed at my place for two nights while we were away. He now has a "special bed" (slumber lounger folding bed) especially for sleep overs and sleeps in my parents room, they ALL love it. I'm being induced with DS2 next week and he'll spend a few night with them.
DD has had sleepovers at my mum and dad's since she was 6 months old.
I think it's important to only leave your LO with someone you trust explicitly and someone that will follow your instructions.
Both of mine were about 11 mths old when they started to take a milk bottle sometimes, although both were breastfed past that, and the sleepover was at my mums where they were very familiar with from being there for day sleeps etc. when i was working. DD had her first sleepover at MILs a few months ago but they are an hour and a half away. As for sleep-overs - I don't even want to think about it yet! Especially if it is a friend at school and you aren't that familiar with the family/friends who go there. Going to be tricky I think!
2years, 6 months, 1 week - and that was a "mum, we'll give it a try, but if she doesn't settle for you, we're picking her up on the way home" gig.
i think the fact we still BF did influence the decisions we made in regard to sleep overs (ANY time apart really) - we have a bedtime/night time routine that works for us, and i wasn't keen on messing that up. she didn't settle well for Granma, but she was asleep before we could have gotten back anyway. and then only stirred once for cuddles, which she accepted from Granma, so we were ok.
i think you need to be comfortable with the people you are leaving your LO with, comfy with how your LO will cope, and comfy with how YOU will cope. our sleep over was only earlier this month - had been planned since May as a friend bought us concert tickets. Initially we were going to do a "trial" sleep over or two before we went, but every time i thought about it, i realised that if DD didn't settle well, i would end up NOT going to the concert. so i went with my gut and held out until that night and left her. very much about my own anxiety issues, but it was what we had to do so that it worked for all of us
Not yet for any of mine. DS just turned 4. We don't live close enough to any family so he is not super familiar with them. He was also a sleep horror, I wouldn't have wanted anyone to see how rotten he was lol. I doubt anyone could have settled him since DH and I couldn't get him to sleep half the time.
He is finally sleeping through the night mostly, but I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin that! DD1 is just too young IMO (just turned 2), and I wouldn't even contemplate it with my 3 month BF bubba. Of course I am sure I would have a different opinion if we had a trusted family member close by.
DS was about 13 months when he had his first sleepover at MIL. Out of necessity because DH & I both came down with gastro at the same time and were physically unable to look after him, so MIL picked up him and took him for the night. He has had his second sleepover at 19 months with his aunty and cousins when I was in hospital giving birth to DD.
DD hasn't had any sleepovers yet. Potentially in the new year they will both have a sleepover at their aunty's and cousins but they will both be staying there when I go to hospital for this birth.
Neither of ours have had a sleepover without at least one parent staying over as well but if DS1 got invited to sleepover at a friends I would let him go. He is 7.
I wouldn't let my Mr5 have a sleepover with a friend because he still has an occasional wet bed especially after a late, exciting night.
Last edited by Phteven; December 17th, 2011 at 06:57 PM.
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Sleep Overs- what age?
if the need ever arose
does that count?
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