A Stinky issue!!!

[Je$$_84]

Well where to start. I really could use some advice. I started toilet trainging my son about 4 months ago. I had tried previously but he had no interest. Finally, this time we had some luck but he hasnt got the hang of #2's. I thought that #2 would be the easy part but after 4 months of using the toilet for #1's and constantly um.... soiling his underwear i'm at wits end.

I have tried everything, being calm, saying its doesnt matter maybe next time, constantly asking him if he needs to go, putting him on there every 20 min- 1/2 hour but as soon as his pants are on he goes and does it. Its like he's lazy or something. Sometimes he's playing out side and is having too much fun to come in but other times he just stands there and hold his bottom so i run him in there but its too late. Preschool told me to persevere but i just cant take anymore. i'm thinking of going back to nappies but everyone keeps advising against it.

Any suggestions.....i'll try anything

[Jodie259]

Have you thought of a reward chart ? Create a big chart and get some stickers that he can put on each time he does the job?

Mind you... he has to do the job first.... so that would seem to be the hard part.

sorry I can't help you much. I'm not at the toilet training stage yet.

good luck

[Je$$_84]

Thanks Jodie, the problems is getting him to actually do one in the toilet. I'd buy him a new toy anything but its getting him to actually just do it in there.

[{sarah}]

We're having a similar problem in that Zander will poo once his nappy is on for a sleep, he will go on the potty / toilet, but seems to prefer to wait until his nappy is on for the moment. I'm just waiting it out.

[christy]

It took Matilda around 6 months to work out the poo on the toilet. For some of them its a balance issue, they can't hold their balance & poo at the same time. I know Matilda told me she was afraid of falling in, so we started using a seat on the toilet. We tried rewards, smarty jar, praise but nothing would get her onto the toilet to do it. She got nappy rash badly and I told her that she wouldn't get it if she used the toilet & that was it for her. She now sometimes forgets with wee's when she's busy but will never poo anywhere but the toilet.

[Je$$_84]

Sarah, My son is in night nappies also and he does them in there most mornings aswell but most days we can go through 10 pairs of undies cos he does a little bit in there and i see him holding his bottom and run him to the toilet. Its driving me crazy.... it makes me so cross but i know it will happen in its own time.

Christy, My son has a apecial seat and a step he isnt scared of falling in as he does prefer to sit without the seat but i thought the same, difficult to ballance so i make him use the seat. I thought it was cos well you never really see someone doing #2 in the toilet so i was putting what he did in his undies in the toilet to kind of show him "well this is where it goes" he now understands that big boys do poos in the toilet but still isnt doing it. I've even brought a potty but he wont use it either.

[Snacks]

Jess, we're a long way from TT too, so sorry I can't offer any personal experience. But I do know it takes some kids a long time to get the hang of it. TBH, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to help him (in fact, you've given me a few good ideas to remember for when its time for us!). The only thing I can say is that from all I've read, they say it is best not to go back to nappies - stick it out. Going back to nappies is going to be confusing after all the education he's received (ie, big boys poo in the toilet...) and then you will just have to start all over again at a later stage.
I know this is easy for me to say, but being a cloth nappy user, I personally wouldn't see that emptying poo into the toilet from undies is any different to what I do now LOL! So I would stick with it. He will get it You sound like an awesomely patient mummy

[*noni*e*]

hey there jess.. i used to work in childcare before i had my bubs and i have to say dnt put him back in nappies.. ive seen it happen a few times and kids get really confused and toilet train much later than they would have... even if they werent ready when they started its very confusing... your little boy sounds like he is totally ready though and well done on getting him weeing in the toilet thats the first bit!! many kids have a hard time with that...
its a really good idea emptying the poo in the toilet so he can see where it is suppose to go it may seem like its not working but every little bit helps!!
for some reason most if not all kids get the weeing part first sometomes as others have said u just need to wait it out but there are a few things you can do...
-like someone suggested you could make a star chart, or pick out something he really wants and tell him he needs to do a poo in the toilet to get it, you could have a nice chat with him about how hes a big boy now and if he does a poo in the toilet he will get "thing he wants"(if he has a good understanding some children at that age wont understand)
- watch him and see if there are any signs before he starts holding his bottom.. lots of kids go and hide lol thats a pretty common one.. or just quietly go into the corner... sounds to me though the way he grabs on he might not realise he needs to go before it is happening? i could be wrong... anyway so if u keep an eye on him and see if there are any signs that lead up to it you may be able to put him on the toilet and have success.. then if he is rewarded and made to feel good about it it is more likely he will try his best to do it again (it does take time though even once youve got your first poo for them to get the hang of it sometimes)
- i would also suggest that if he really wants to you should let him sit on the normal toilet seat with you supporting him so its not a strain for him because maybe with the seat he feels that even though big boys go on the toilet as you said it dosn't feel like the big toilet??
- you could look for a book specifically about toilet training or about someone learning to use the toilet and read it to him.. anything that reinforces it really...
hth i know its hard (working in childcare you do some toilet training in your time lol) is the pre school helping you out at all??? try hard not to get cranky at him because ive seen this send kids backwards too.. they tend to worry about getting in trouble so much that they forget about the task at hand.. i know its hard hang in there he will get it!!

[dee73]

We're not quite at the TT stage yet (going to tackle it after Christmas) so I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I have a suggestion you can use or ignore...

When you personally need to do a #2, announce to your ds "Mummy feels in her tummy that she needs to do a poo" and let him follow you into the toilet and watch you do yours. I've been letting my ds watch me for a few weeks now and I talk about whether I'm doing wees or poos and then he goes and announces what I did to my dh!

Good luck, and don't stress!

[Je$$_84]

Hi Just though i'd let you know that we had our first day yesterday without any dirty underwear. I noticed he was sneaking off to hide near the corner and i asked if he needed to go. He said no but i ran him to the toilet and he did a little one in the toilet. I was so happy i was yelling woo hoo horray etc. He was looking at me like i was an idiot.
I kind of bribed himthough told him if he keeps doing them in the big toilet that i would buy something for him. Hopefully it works. fingers crossed

[Snacks]

Woo hoo, Jess. Hopefully this is the turning point you were waiting for

[*noni*e*]

hooray!!!

[Je$$_84]

bad news today we have taken another step backwards. 4 pairs of undies and the day isnt over. AHHHHHHHHHHH its so frustrating... just when i think yeah he's understanding. Its like he just doesnt know when he's about to go???

[blizz]

hi agree with you noni*e* I've been in long day care for twelve years and have like wise done my fairshare of toilet training and you are totally right the postive approach with lots of "woo-hoos" is best don't dispair Jess it is often a case of one step forward two back but stick with it and soon the good days will out number the bad I can remember seeing a book at work called "the sneaky poo" I'll have a look on Monday and let you know the details if it looks ok.

[*noni*e*]

jess stick with it he will get there!! dnt be discouraged youve had some big successes and it takes time but its looking very positive!! keep up with the positive reinforcement dnt focus on the accidents just the positives!!! maybe talk to him about what he should feel like when he needs to go? not the easiest thing to do... or like i said before watch for any signs you might see before its too late and you need to change undies... basically unfortunately its just sticking with it and knowing it will get better!!!