Tanties in public

[amberj]

DS has not really had many tanties yet, but yesterday he chucked his first big wobbly while we were out.

We were in a queue in the ISIS waiting room and he wanted to get down and go look at the sliding doors (as you do). When I wouldn't let him (so he didn't go outside), it didn't go down very well at all. Much screaming and flailing ensued, much wiggling out of my arms and much me looking like a fool chasing and tackling him. The whole waiting room was watching.



So I just kept picking him up and trying to hold him and ignore the screaming while getting on with checking us in. At least we got served quickly. When he calmed down enough I distracted him and then we got out of the queue and he was fine. Meanwhile I was having a post-adrenaline meltdown.

Did I do the right thing? Is there something else you are supposed to do about public tanties? I was surprised by how stressful it was! What are your public tantie experiences?

[fionas]

DD throws tanties all the time in public. Usually on a weekend when DP is working shifts and I'm witnessed by families enjoying (or at least having) their family time which does not help my mood one bit

She's thrown tanties about leaving the playground, tanties about getting off the tram (she loves a tram ride), tanties about leaving the swimming pool .. you name it. Usually consists of her lying down on the floor/on the footpath kicking and screaming for ten minutes.

For prevention, I've learnt to give her lots and lots of warning about what we're doing next ie. that we're leaving the playground soon, soon, soon, we're leaving after three more swings etc. etc.

If despite all that, she chucks a wobbly, there's not a lot I can do except a) try distraction, "ooooooh look DD here comes a dog" or b) just calmly wait until it's all over and ignore the dirty looks from passers-by.

[ss_storm]

I am dreading the day we have our first public tanty..I'm bad enough when she starts crying in the pram when we are taking the dog for a walk and she is trying to go to sleep!

I think fionas ideas are spot on..either distraction, or try and ignore and continue as usual. At least it gets you through the queues faster! Lol. Maybe have a choccie stash in your bag for afterwards (for you!)

[Ozziehoffy]

Plenty of warnings yup!!! Oskar carries on but I let him go off a bit then when he's not quite so loud I quietly explain we're leaving or whatever it is. I actually laughed one time cos it was just so comical and you'll find that people really aren't looking at you anyway, most parents have been through it at one time or another and will usually grin from the memory and probably thinking thank goodness I don't have to deal with that anymore lol.

I think it's best not to feel self conscious about it, it's not your fault and it's normal. Try to distract them and giggle to yourself Actually I sometimes tell Oskar if he's good (say like you had to wait in a queue like you did today) then he can look at some toys, or buy a new matchbox car (only $2) or have a ride. So he gets something for me getting something if that makes sense. Works quite well for us.

[Mother Goose]

we do the pre-warning thing too. As much as I can. DD is now good at counting down. In fact, if I don't say "three more swings then we have to go" and jump straight to "time to go" I am greeted by "nnnnoooooooooo Mum. Just 3 more swings" She's too smart for her own good!

I also use "rules". Before we go somewehre we discuss the rules; no running away, no tantrums etc. If she has a melt down, I say "remember the rules? what are they". She recites them, I ask if she is doing XYZ which she usually admits to, says sorry and we all carry on.

I've had looks and comments as DD tantrums. The latest was in Aldi at Eltham - some old guy actually FOLLOWED us around the store watching in amazement as I held my squirming child looking for what I needed. DD got rid of him by screaming "MUMMY! WHY THAT MAN FOLLOWING US?!"
to which said "I don't know honey, maybe you're making too much noise?"
her response? "He's scaring me"
My response? "What do we do if we're scared by someone following us DD?"
"We tell the powice Mummy. Or scream really loudly"
I smuggly turned, looked at him and said "Thank you for helping me educate my daughter about Stranger Danger" and continued on my way. He stopped following us.

Just ignore people around you. Your DS's safety is the most important thing. I'd say everyone with kids has been there before - it's just some of us chose to block it from our memories

[Rainbow_Mumma]

mother goose that was so cute of your DD and very well educated on stranger danger!!

I agree with pre warnings and you did the right thing by not letting him go after 5 mins of carrying on persistance is the key yes people will look, stare or even comment or try to butt in but you dont want to have tantrums everywhere you go when DS wants something once he realises oh mummy doesnt actually give in when i carry on like this they phase out of it a lot quicker than if you do give in to them