hi everyone
thanks for your replies. DS is in a bed and has been for a year, he coped with this change well. We gave up the dummy in November and he also coped pretty well with this. he goes off to sleep fairly well but its the constant waking iin the middle of the night that is doing my head in! Interestingly enough we went away for three nights (got home yesteday) and he whilst we were away he slept in his porta cot in the same room as us and although he went to bed much later than normal each night he stirred for the first time at 5am each morning and was quite happy to go back to sleep almost straight away if we put him in with us. Where as at home he often is awake before midnight and then every 2 hours after that!

he has a nightlight in his room and the door is always open and he has no issues with daytime sleeps in his room at all. Sometimes when he wkes he tells me he needs to do a wee (he is toilet trained during the day) but most times he just wants Mummy or a cup of milk. I actually rang Tweddle in Melbourne today because i don't know how to stop this night waking, i have got a lady calling me tomorrow afternoon.
I am going to try a new routine as of today that will go something like:
bath 5.30pm
Tea 6-6.30 (when DH gets home as we always eat as a family)
6.30-7.30 quiet play
7.30 stories and bed.
he always wants to go to sleep in our bed and then we move him to his room, when we go to bed but mabe i need to start in his room and just be firm that he needs to stay in his bed. or maybe i should put the portacot up in our room and transfer him to that and see if that helps!
Any further advice or ideas will be greatly appreciated as i am kind of at my wits end with it all