You're not useless! You're a brand new mum figuring stuff out, which is what we all are to begin with (and for a long time, quite frankly).

That's great he's sleeping well overnight. Do you have a sling or baby carrier? I would suggest you or your partner (or other helper) wear him as much as possible during the day to allow you hands-free time to do things. It often helps them sleep better, also. You can pop him in, jiggle around, carry on with your day and avoid the hour of pre-sleep struggle.

My honest advice is this: If doing things this way is not working, do something easier. Just cuddle or feed or rock to sleep, whatever works.