'Too many' toys vs 'not enough'

[BekZ]

I was going to reply as to why I think these toys serve a purpose - but realised i was being defensive, and after reflecting, realise that i really have no need to be
We all raise our children differently and have different values, which is what makes the world such an interesting place.

I could not have said this better JaZaHMum

Before I purchase a toy I think about what learning value the item has and for how long it will keep my child occupied. We have a good mix of toys that I rotate on a regular basis. I try to avoid too many commercial character type toys, although I haven't denied my daughter a Dora doll just because it is commercalised.

We don't buy toys unless the girls are having a birthday or it is Christmas. We don't have toys out on display either. All the toys are in the girls rooms and they seem to be more motivated to play with them if I bring out a box for the day rather than having them always in sight.

To answer the original question - I don't believe it is quanity that is the issue. If the item/s are being used and enjoyed then why not have them?

[Smoke Jaguar]

JaZaHMum - glad to read it! No, you don't need to justify yourself in the least
And like I say, I've got friends who are overrun with the toys I specifically don't want or need and I manage to stay very good friends with them
Essentially, I don't think there can be a 'not enough toys' situation, because kids will take anything and figure out a way to play with it! For my own situation, I can see a counter-productive effect of having too many toys. And like I said, DS gets a lot of stimulation from our lifestyle alone, where we live (in th hills with lots of birds, creeks and trees) and the cheap or free outside toys we have.
There is no 'one size fits all' in the world of families and people!

[AnyDream]

I personally try to choose toys that have 'expansive properties' rather than those that limit play.

Many of the plastic, mass produced toys on the market revolve around only one or two modes of play. Eg, press buttons, light flashes, makes a sound. That's it (limits play). Other toys have endless possibilities, the best example I can think of is a pair of brightly patterned square scarves that I bought from an op shop for DD1 when she was a baby. They get fashioned into clothes, headdresses, blankets, used for magic tricks, props for the barbie dolls, draped around the bedroom, on and on it goes, they've been played with for 10 years and I still find them stashed in DD1's room and not in the dressup box LOL.

With DD1 were weren't in a position to buy many toys and what she had was often limited by what i could find second hand or what I could afford very very cheaply. With DD2 we are luckier to be able to spend more, and ironically she has fewer, but much better quality toys. I'm really trying to keep away from plastic this time round.

[Lolli]

Umm.. lots of toys here too

In my defence, most of them are recycled or freecycled, from op shops, markets or curbside collections. Any that are new were bought as presents- some of our mates who don't have kids have been pretty extravagant with gifts.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Lori - not many toys, but the ones we have are largely from the same sources as yours! Childless people spend up on Fisher Price (have some musical instruments that you don't actually play - press a button and they play themselves, very whizz bang...)! Otherwise, op shopping, recyclers etc. And my mum...biggest offender, who must believe she didn't have enough toys for me as a kid and is now compensating...LOL!

[Gigi]

We live in a tiny unit, so space would stop us having too many toys, even if we had the money to buy whatever "too many toys" is.

If we had more space, i would love to get my DD a wooden kitchen as she loves the "home corner" at childcare so much.

If the backyard wasn't a mess of weeds and muck (with not one tree, zero shade), i would love to have a patch of grass, for a swingset, a sandpit and a shady spot to put an easel, for painting. I realise you can't have chickens in a block of units, but i would love to have a frog pond in the backyard.

i feel so guilty about all the play experiences she is missing out on where we live, that's why i put her in childcare, just so she can get the experiences of playing outdoors, painting and playing in a sandpit.

I'm interested in both Steiner and Montesorri play ideas, so have been trying to buy less toys, but choose open ended toys, made out of wood, cloth and metal. The rainbow things i've bought have been great for teaching DD about colours.

I've recently decided to not have battery operated toys, they get given away now. I noticed DD was behaving like a zombie with battery operated toys and books with battery operated buttons in them.

toys she has:
basket of real instruments
box of dressups
wooden blocks
an etch a sketch (i'm still not quite sure about these)
a box of playdough stuff
a box of paper/scrapbooks and steiner crayons (wax, small and rectangular) - i am not giving her textas or pencils for now.
a box of miniature animals
wooden push a long toys, wooden cars, wooden bulldozer
a drawer of puppets
a box of plush toys
fabric dolls
a toddler sized dustpan and broom
a toddler sized water squirter and sponge
lots of books
Kinder Yoga DVD
Amazing Drumming Monkeys DVD

i know i would go ALOT further, if i was a purist, i feel a bit "halfway", about where we are with the toys.

i do struggle at friend's houses, with the tv being on all the time, the textas, the battery operated toys that DD just keeps pushing buttons and stops actual playing with them, just acting like a zombie. I don't know how to handle it, i feel conflicted in my mind, don't want to offend my friends, but unsure what the exposure is doing to DD.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Gigi - I honestly don't think there's any harm! It's not her primary environment, and it's not really 'harming' the children who have them, the toys are just not doing much for their development in themselves, if that's what the parents are hoping!
There's much more to development than toys - there's adult modelling, movement, social interactions, daily activities you take for granted etc. If you're leaving the child in a room with these push button toys all day long with no other stimulation, then that's going to disadvantage the child...and I don't think any of us are doing that
My main focus has been on keeping 'things' down and not calling them 'his' as much as possible. The only things I've really called his (as in 'your x') have been his sword that DP made for him and his bed! I got a bit sick of hearing friends tell 'reassure' their kids that DS couldn't play with a certain toy because it was 'theirs', or that it was ok because it was 'theirs' and they'd get it back. With DS I call things 'the x' and don't attach ownership to it so that when someone comes over to play with it and he starts to look alarmed I tell him it's ok, that child can play with x because we share. I don't even do the 'he/she had it first' - unless there's been some blatant snatching going on (possessiveness rather than toy curiosity in a young child) I encourage DS to just give it over and tell him he can play with it after if he still wants to. Usually works It doesn't teach him to be a push over, it teaches him it's not worth the battle cos it's just a thing and he can move on.
Anyway, that's my homage to the idea that we don't truly 'own' anything, and that 'attachment is at the root of all grief' and if you're gonna be attached make attachment to people and experiences, not things that can break, be taken away, not bought etc. I just do what I can and that's all we can do as parents