Toy guns - OK or not??

[Inanna]

Oh Marydean what a beautiful post... I really loved how you said what you did & wanted to publicly acknowledge that.

[Lulu]

Water pistols are a fantastic way of cooling down on a hot day. End of story. If I didn't have a huge one to shoot water at my dogs off the back deck they wouldn't get enough exercise! It's water play and we all love it. We also love water bombs but we don't call them grenades and pretend we are blowing each other to bits either....

My children don't play cowboys and indians, they don't even know who/what they are. And just because I let them play with water pistols doesn't mean I'd ever let them re-enact some horrible part of history and normalise it!

We have target shooting on the Wii and it's my waaaay favourite game. No gun type thing there, just the controllery type thing. Awesome for hand-eye co-ordination. I did archery for awhile at school too, can't see anything wrong with that.

[Cherished]

I find it horrifying! not sure why parents would want their children pretending to shoot other humans dead

[lilima]

My son uses bananas as a gun.

I say if you want to buy your kids a toy gun, buy it. If not, don't. End of story.

[Trillian]

I find it horrifying! not sure why parents would want their children pretending to shoot other humans dead

Really it's not a whole lot different to the kids re-enacting fairy tales - Sleeping Beauty gets a curse put on her and she is supposed to DIE originally, but the good fairy changes it so she only sleeps, Snow White was going to be MURDERED by the hunter and Hansel and Gretel were going to be EATEN by the witch - so I would assume that you would also find it horrifying for children to re-enact those as well?

It is 100% your right as a parent to stop your children from playing those types of games, but just be aware that you could be creating a double standard kwim? I think it is far more effective as a parent to talk to your kids about the games they play so that they understand what they are doing. Many little children wouldn't have a clue that playing 'guns' can have other connotations and that even pretending to shoot someone dead isn't really a nice game to play. Otherwise to ban it outright is pointless because they 1 wont understand unless you explain to them why you don't like it and 2 that we can only protect them for so long - sooner or later they are going to be exposed to external influences from other children, children who may or may not be allowed to play those games as well. So the child that you have prevented from playing violent games will one day come home raving about playing like that with other kids and want to replicate that in the home.

[CrazyLady]

I really don't like the idea of toy guns and none of my male friends had them growing up. That said though it's one thing to take away and another to educate so we'll cross that bridge if we come to it

[ladybird11]

What amazing replies ladies - for both sides of the fence . I agree Inanna, what an interesting discussion.

As Marydean mention the word 'double standard' it got me thinking (oh no, everyone cries ).

When our kids get older they will at some stage understand and see that myself or DH wear a gun as part of our uniform.

As I do lectures and sometimes attend primary and high schools, its part of policy we don't wear the gun into school grounds as we don't want to draw attention to it. However I always get questions, 'have you ever shot anyone?' - from even kids as young as 5. I think to myself 'what does this have to do with school crossing monitor training' ...before politely replying 'no, I haven't shot anyone and hope I never have to'...and then get back to topic quick smart.

How should I explain to my children that its worn for protection from bad people, without them getting it into their head that they need to have a pretend gun to offer themselves the same protection, KWIM? Its the absolute last resort, only to be used in self defence in saving my own life, from death. I don't want to say that to them otherwise they might start thinking horrid thoughts of us dying on duty at work etc.....The chances are there, but are in reality ever so miniscule.

How do I be realistic, but not all doom and gloom on the subject?

[Trillian]

Ooooohhh Good question Leesa! How have your colleagues handled this with their kids?

[Bathsheba]

Great discussion.

Speaking for myself I love playing with guns. As a teenager I got to use a rifle occasionally for target practise. And let me tell you I am one sharp shooter! ROFL Somewhere i have a can of coke that I shot on my first try... my step father was quite surprised... I think it was the only thing i ever did in my life that impressed him. Thinking back I am fairly sure it was illegal (maybe you could clarify Leesa? Is a 16 - 17 yo allowed to use a rifle on a privately owned farm to shoot at cans?
I also did archery at high school.

But I don't let my boys play with guns and I discourage gun play. DH and I have a policy of not endorsing violence as a form of entertainment. Target practise is not violence (if aimed at a can) so if my boys want to do that when they are older then fine. I agree that a gun is a tool... and any tool can be misused.... but I won't have my boys running around the house pretending to kill each other. Personally I believe the car tool kills more people and am more concerned about that than anything... maybe if I am to be consistent I shouldn't allow them to pretend to "speed" their toy cars. But I guess that's not direct violence.

My SIL's family are indigenous Aussies and go so far as to not allow their kids to point at elders. My BIl got quite cross at my 3yo when he pointed directly at his face in mock anger. When i observed this I thought "gee, is that over the top?" but on reflection i think it's great that my BIL laid down that boundary because when you think about it being pointed to in the face is quite aggressive

[Lolli]

Very intersting. Forgive me if I've missed any salient points, I've only skimmed the last two pages.

We have an absolutley no gun rule in our house. My dh was shot, at close range through the leg six years ago in a road rage incident- in our quiet, lovely little 'burb. He still suffers PTSD and any loud noises 'turn him to water' (his words).

So, yeah, no guns. The jury is still out on water pistols- I don't mind them if they don't look like guns, iykwim. At a certain pint, a Super Soaker or a pool noodle shooter lose their resembalane to real hand guns or rifles, and I'm ok with that. Dh is not, believing it's the action and intent (hitting someone with a projectile from a hand held weapon) that's the problem. it hasn't come up with ds yet, I'll guess we'll have to wait till it does to make a judgement call on that.

[~Raven~]

Thinking back I am fairly sure it was illegal (maybe you could clarify Leesa? Is a 16 - 17 yo allowed to use a rifle on a privately owned farm to shoot at cans?

Back then probably not but I think it is now, though they can use them at a gun club if they have membership

[Inanna]

Leesa what a wonderful parent you are to even be asking the questions you are. I just want you to hear that! My father was very high up in the Qld Police Force - so I too was exposed to guns from as far back as I can recall... My father handled it fairly typically for a cop from those times. They were for "Pulling the bad guys into line"...

I can't really answer your question well as I personally wouldn't/couldn't use a gun against another. Even in self defence. But I think if you spoke about it as a "tool" that you use, the immense responsibility that goes with having it in your posession & your aversion to ever needing to use it & that you would only do so in extreme situations... I used to lay awake at nigth until my Dad came homne from work. He would often be gone for days at a time & it was incredibly stressful. He was plain clothes which made it freakier for me. So, I understand your need not to frighten your children needlessly. My father was shot once & I remember the fear I can still feel at that.

I think I would use other words other than "bad guys' or "bad people"... I think we all have the capability for good & evil & it can be confusing to think it's all okay to shoot at someone who is being bad... yK?

I would use it as "I only would use my gun to protect myself or other innocent people." "We always try to aim at a part of the body that is likely not to kill the person, just stop them from hurting others"...This way your kids get the responsibility you are exercising - & that noone deserves to be killed for doing a wrong deed...

Bathsheba: I think it's important to remember that differing cultures have different beliefs. It is incredibly rude to Koori's to point & also to photograph for some... So it's not over the top - just cultural.

[Bathsheba]

Inanna: I totally agree! My kneejerk reaction was "is that over the top?" but on reflection I'm very glad DS learned this lesson because it IS so important to understand different cultural boundaries are just important as our own. Also I completely agree that it's a subtle but important message to remind children that there are not "good people and bad people" just "good actions and bad actions". I am forever reminding my children when they fight: "I know you don't like what DS is doing but you still love DS... just not what he does".

[sunshine_sieben]

I hate guns. I am aware that some people need to use them (police, military etc.). But I don't want to have them around me.

Regarding toy guns. I don't like them. I won't buy them. But I am aware that I can't completely control my children. well, I can while they're very little, but there comes a point when they are exposed to these things. So I think talking about it is the best thing to do.

I don't believe that toy guns are the root of all evil, either. We all played with them when I was little and they didn't make us violent people at all. I agree that cowboys and Indians is a pretty racist game. But it can also be an opportunity to teach them history. I remember always wanting to be an Indian. We didn't necessarily shoot the Indians.

Water guns to me are just a certan type of toy guns. But I do remember having lots of fun with them as kids. I have bought DD some toy noodle blasters. To me they are not like guns at all. To me, playing with them is not violent at all. It's no different than splashing water at each other.

Not sure if I made any sense...

For what it's worth, I also have issues with some girl type "toys". I would not let my DD paint her finger and toe nails (if she wants to do it with markers, that's fine. But she'll need to be well into her teens until I let her do it for real).