What age to start "time out"

[danniellabella]

DD is 15 months old and has been starting to test the boundaries since she was about 13.5 months. I don't really know what the most effective way to discipline at this age is. I wanted to find out what you have done for a child this age and also what is a good age to start "time out"?

[AnyDream]

Probably at this age it's better to simply remove the thing that's the problem or physically move the child away from the area/thing that's the problem. That may mean putting them down a couple of meters away and doesn't really count as a time out. First give a verbal direction (keep it simple - one or two words - and repeat a few times) then if they don't comply, move them. At this age distraction/redirection works better than anything else anyway. We've only recently started doing "proper" time outs occasionally (a minute max by herself in the hallway) and only after repeated incidents/out of control behaviour which earlier interventions have not fixed. My DD is nearly 21 mths old. If you are having repeated problems with particular things (eg child keeps playing with something you don't want them to) it's actually easier to change the environment (move the thing, put a lock on the cupboard, give the child something they are allowed to play with instead, etc) than to repeatedly enforce it, kwim? Dr Harry does the same thing with pets on the telly LOL.

HTH

ETA - I meant to add - save the Time Outs as your last resort measure. If you use it up on minor things, it won't work if/when the challenging behaviour escalates (as sometimes it does). Always make sure you get down to your child's level, use your "important voice" and make eye contact when given them direction. Use direct words like "Get in the car please" instead of indirect words like "Can you get in the car please". Often this will fix the problem without any other measures.

[Lulu]

:yeahthat:

I agree!

[alioops]

Em is only just starting to sit in the corner when she is in trouble. I think around 2 is the time that they start to get what it means. Just keep moving her away from the things she is pushing the boundaries with, and if the cats are the ones who's boundaries she is pushing they will let her know.

[sneakysparkle]

yeah distraction is the best for under 2's. after that I think it would be ok to start time out.

[danniellabella]

Thanks everyone.

[fionas]

Absolutely agree with what Marydean has said (but have to spread the love).

I think if I tried to do it with DD now she'd just run off anyway and if I try to restrain her in her cot or highchair then she'll develop bad associations when it comes to sleep time or eating time ... so at the moment we're just muddling through.

[kirsty_lee]

I do time out with Ava and have done so since she turned 1. The first time it was hard cause it was about 45 mins of me putting her back in the corner, but after that she understands it. Sometimes you can't always 'remove' the problem so I thought i'd give it a go. And now if she doesn't listen after 3 warnings I say time out time. Put her in the corner ( same corner everytime ) and she will sit there for a minute. And when I go back to her I will say "mummy put you in time out because xyz" and will say "sorry mummy?" and she'll give me a kiss and a cuddle and run off and play. It works for us, doesn't mean it will work for eveyrone though.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I did "time out" in a way ever since DS didn't do as I asked. So about 1 year? As in not stopping hitting other children, btw, not as in not putting his clothes away. He is shocking about that one still.

But I'd take him away from the situation and he'd go back. So I'd take him away and sit him on my knee, hold him in my arms and talk quietly to him over the tantrum that we can't hit others being hit isn't nice, DS doesn't like being hit, so we don't hit others. Once he calms down a bit then he's fine and plays nicely. But he knows I love him and am helping him - I will say that I know he wants that particular toy but the other child was playing with it, sharing isn't always fun but that doesn't mean we can hit blah blah blah.

I found that very effective. Mostly because I am enforcing the "think about what you have done" thing at the same time as taking him away from the problem.

[danniellabella]

I guess I could always try and if it doesn't work then I'll try when she's a little older. KL, Ava is just a little younger than Jacinta so it might work for me.

[Tinks]

I did "time out" in a way ever since DS didn't do as I asked. So about 1 year? As in not stopping hitting other children, btw, not as in not putting his clothes away. He is shocking about that one still.

But I'd take him away from the situation and he'd go back. So I'd take him away and sit him on my knee, hold him in my arms and talk quietly to him over the tantrum that we can't hit others being hit isn't nice, DS doesn't like being hit, so we don't hit others. Once he calms down a bit then he's fine and plays nicely. But he knows I love him and am helping him - I will say that I know he wants that particular toy but the other child was playing with it, sharing isn't always fun but that doesn't mean we can hit blah blah blah.

That's what I used to do as well. It worked really well while they were toddlers.