unsettled newborn - HELP!

[nox]

As if this is news to anyone, I guess!
I have an 11 day old baby boy who feeds during the day around 3 hours or so. Around the afternoon bubs becomes very unsettled. I took him for a walk in the stroller and this was great until the next feed, which was about 3pm. Since then he's been very unsettled and grisly.

I try changing, burping etc and even a top up feed. I have rung maternal help lines and they have mentioned that I may be over feeding and should consider a dummy. The ABA of course says that it is not possible to over feed and are not into dummies so young.

I have rocked, put in carriers, tried baths ... this only really started about 2 days ago. He tends to calm down eventually --- at the moment he is being worn by DH who has managed over an hour to settle him. He will wake though for the next feed and be much the same, I fear!

Any thoughts or other suggestions? Or any thoughts about the dummy? Is it possible to wean off the dummy really early -- like 6 months or so???

So confusing! Thanks

[krisp]

I used a sling for my DS when he was new and it instantly settled him. Not the Baby Bjorn type that suspend the baby from its crotch, the ones that go across your chest over one shoulder that cradle the bub in the fetal position. He loved it and would lay there calmly or go straight to sleep.

Good luck,sometimes newborns just cry and you can only do your best. I know it's frustrating and upsetting but often there is no reason its just the way they are until they get a bit older and all the newness of being on the outside rather than the safety of Mummys womb wears off. Hang in there, he'll be just fine.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

My DS did this, every time he got upset my mum would take him to let me relax, so I can't really help, sorry. But it is normal! Try offering a finger to suck or find a favourite nursery rhyme to sing, those helped after DH kicked mum out because I was worse off with her around.

[Emma1979]

it is SUCH a hard time and i think you have to survive the best way you can.... i would definitely try a sling, the kind where they are in the foetal position across your body, i wish i had of used this more... is it possible he is over tired????? try rocking to sleep in your arms, they need ALOT of sleep and get really overtired being up much past an hour or so at a time.... do whatever it is that helps you get you through it, if you want to try a dummy try it.... it can be a godsend at times like this, maybe it will help....?? i just got rid of the dummy for my five month old, after a couple of days she didn't even miss it.... you can always change any 'bad habits' you may have started when they are so young if they become a problem for you later.... just do whatever it is that makes things easier for yourself and bubs... it can be a bit of an experiment trying to nut out what is going to work and what it is they want.... it is one of the hardest times but just remember it won't last forever and you are doing a brilliant job... just try to comfort him as best you can as its often impossible to work out what it is that is upsetting them when they are so young.... each to their own but don't be scared to try different things, ie a dummy, because others frown upon them, i worried so much about what you 'should' and 'shouldn't' do and wish i had of just gone with my instincts... its so hard though when its all new and there are so many opinions of people who seem to know better, you know your baby best...
good luck and hang in there it will get easier in the next few months....

[Alan]

Hi Nox
Your baby could just be trying to tell you that he is scared and confused. He has recently entered a very new and strange world. He is used to living in the dark where all the sounds are muffled. And now he has been placed into a bright harsh world
All of the above are great ideas. You could also put your baby face down over your knees pat his bottom and sing/talk to him. Or cuddle him so that he can hear your heart beating or the rumbling of your tummy

[Beach Mama]

FIrst of all congratulations!
Secondly - you are definately not alone! Many babies go through a "witching" hour - although for many bubs its more like a few hours! My Izzy is only just starting to get a bit better but its taken alot of time and distraction. I really feel that during this time they want attention and comfort so I would just do whatever works. If he wants a dummy give it, if he wants a feed give it, I agree with the aba here - they wont take it if they dont want it. Izzy would feed much more frequently during this time. Maybe try bathing during this time if he likes it, sling wearing and lots of cuddles! I aslo used to go for a walk with the pram every day during this time to get her to sleep - as of the last week we are now sleeping in the cot.
It will pass and if you can use the time to bond, enjoy the cuddles and try to stay calm - hopefully it will help!

[nox]

Thanks for the help. Last night we tried all of these suggestions (bar the dummy because we don't have one). In the end he was def over tired and didn't need a feed, change or anything. I put him back into the sling (previously on another night the bjorn thing worked with him and the sling wouldn't) and sat in a rocking chair until I fell asleep (about an hour) which meant he did too! Got him in the bassinet and he slept a further 2 hours. After that (as ususal for me with the night feeds) he slept with us and fed.

Well today is another day further along and we will see what it brings us, eh?

In regards to dummies, I have heard that they disrupt breast feeding at this early stage which is why I have hesitated. Does anyone have any comments on this?

thanks
xx

[Emma1979]

i have heard similar things also nox re dummies, but am really not sure.... they also say feeding EBM from a bottle can disrupt BF too because its a different way they suck i guess.... i think in maybe a few weeks when BF is going well it would be safe to try a dummy if u want to, but this is just my opinion and im in no way any sort of expert. i gave my girl a dummy before we were even out of the hospital....

[kungfubecca]

Hi,

What every one else has said is great advice. I was told it's perfectly normal for cluster feeding to happen especially at that time of the day. I found the bad afternoons I had a few weeks ago were because I hadn't taken care of my self food, drink rest etc, and so we were both having a bad afternoon. I'd try the finger first to see if he is 100% not hungry. if he's approaching the 2 week mark he might be about to have a little growth spurt, he may need extra feeds.

Otherwise I highly recommend the Hug a Bub. it wraps them nice and close to you so they can snuggle in, feel safe and hear your heartbeat. Puts mine right to sleep. Plus you can get tea ready while they are in it, vacume, go for a walk and even get into a comfy position on the couch in front of the telly.

One other thing to try, if you've got a partner / relative or friend around, hand bubs over to them to cuddle and rock etc. Don't forget you smell like feeding time.

I did succombe to a dummy in the first week, I also gave him EBM as well under the 2 week mark, and no probs with us, but all bubs are different, my little man is an eating machine, he try's to suck his daddies finger right off his hand. Tried to give him a hickey one day, sucks on his nose, you name it if he can get it in his mouth he will suck it.

[sconeonamission]

I'm with Rebecca. My son will suck his fist, our noses, even our tongue! I didn't want to give Jensen a dummy at all. But night three in the hospital, with maybe 3 hours sleep in total, including being in labour, I tried one and he settled so much easier and I FINALLY got some sleep. Some babies just need to suck - its like a comfort thing. I also found that after I gave him the dummy, he got better at sucking and would latch better. Jensen has only ever fed for around 5mins at a time and there's no way he'll ever take any more. I also found that if I kiss one cheek, then the other and follows that with an open mouth then he's hungry. Then I miss the hungry cry. RE: the witching hour - ooh yeah, that happens at my house. I find that it starts around 4pm. Some times he's got colic - could that be it?

hth - good luck with it!

[aussienic]

All those suggestions are great.

When I was BF my first son at the first sign of crying I would feed him.. This is turn would make him cry more. After I had my second son I realized now why my first cried.. I was in fact over feeding him and he had a belly ache. He suked for comfort to ease the tummy pain but then the more he sucked the more pain he got...

If it is possible just sit with him and just cuddle.. I wouldn't worry about bathing or anything.. Just try and keep him calm.. not to over stimulate.. babies get so tired at the end of the day because they are learning new colours, smells, sounds ect.. Its exhausting

good Luck and it does settle down

[scarlet121]

We used a dummy from Day 1 with Parker, it was recommended by the nurses, as they said he was a dummy baby, it didn't interfere with breastfeeding, though I did use the happy dummy, the shape and the way they suck it is more like a nipple.

I used avent dummys with my first baby and had to stop using them because he would not latch on properly, but once he was about 10 weeks old, we introduced it then not a problem.

I used to be totally anti dummy past a certain age, and I think now do what you have to to get it done, in the end no child has ever had a bad reaction to a dummy, but plenty are upset and grumpy by not having one. That being said not all babies need a dummy, but maybe your little one does. You can always try it and see how it goes with the latching.

I was also going to comment on the unsettled baby, if you notice it getting worse, then it could either be reflux or colic, I just mention this because 11 days old is quite young to be starting the witching hour of colic... so it may be brewing into something else.

[Rosy]

My dd never cried for food much, but did get extremely cranky in the afternoons. She would absolutely scream and the only thing we could do to calm her down was to hold her and bounce on a fit ball (one of those big inflatable balls from KMart). This worked every time, there was nothing the fit ball couldn't cure, including teething and after she had surgery on her ankle. The other thing we found with Chloe was noise - she always settles better with someone talking or a radio or tv on. She will sleep through anything (except quiet!) now.

[becmc]

I think the main problem with dummies and why the ABA don't recommend them so early is that sometimes people use them as a substitute for breastfeeds because they think the baby isn't hungry. Sometimes newborns can need 8-12 feeds in 24 hours, so you feeding your bub every three hours is not over feeding at all. Sometimes my baby needs two hourly feeds! They have little tummies and breastmilk is much more easily digested than formula, so people offering advice based on what formula fed babies do really can be detrimental to someone just starting out with breastfeeding.
It sounds like you are really getting in tune with what your bub wants, sometimes it can take weeks to do that. Try a dummy if nothing else works, just be careful you are not 'replacing' a feed with it. For example, if your bub has a feed, then you could say that if he cries within two hours, try the dummy, after two hours do a feed. It is up to you, just remember spacing out feeds with a dummy can reduce your supply, so just keep an eye on the clock and if it has been a reasonable amount of time at least offer a feed first.
Good Luck

[nox]

Well I really thought that I was getting in tune with my 2 week old Dylan! We had a couple of nights of 3.5-4 hour feeds and the days were pretty much 3 hours with some grizzly extra feeds in the morning and evening. But last night was a nightmare again. He was up all night (so it felt) and feeding every 1.5-2 hours. My nipples got so sore and I got so tired that I had to use my nipple shield again, which I don't want to!
Yesterday he was also having so attachment probs ...
The mat nurse did all her checks and balances yesterday and he is gaining weight quickly and growing a lot, so I know that I am not harming him (!!)
Is this all normal and am I doing the right thing?
He had a wet nappy every couple of hours last night but no real soiled ones. Does this sound ok?

[Celsie]

Hi Nox!

Sorry to hear you're having a few teething problems with your little one. In regards to "the witching hour" or the "5 o'clock grizzlies", we watch the Dunstan Langage DVD, which explains that if all the upper wind doesn't come out when you burp him, it then becomes lower wind and by the afternoon it has built up and is quite painful and the baby will grizzle and fuss until this clears.

We had this exact same problem with our son in the first few weeks and it was HORRIBLE!!! We gave him Infants friend to try and help until he was 1 month old, then we switched to Infacol, but the real secret to our success was burping him really thoroughly. Sometimes we'd burp for 1/2 an hour, but geez it was worth it! He's been great ever since. No grizzles or crying, just a happy little boy!

Babies cry because they're trying to tell you something or are tired, or in pain.

In regard to giving a dummy, we did from the first week and have had no issues. Caeleb had no issues with latching and a dummy was only given as a last resort, although now we know him, we know when he's just looking for comfort.

Newborn nappies are mysterious and irregular. In the beginning, we'd have a soiled nappy every other nappy. Then it went down to once a day, and now it's every 2 - 3 days. I have a friend who's little girl only goes once a week!!! But, it's all NORMAL!!! So don't worry.

I hope this was helpful.

Good luck!!!

Celsie. xoxox

p.s. - Just thought I'd add... Caeleb sleeps SO much better since giving him a dummy, because he was able to suck and give himself comfort and puts himself back to sleep, rather than waking and looking for us to comfort him. I have a friend who didn't give her son a dummy till his was 6 weeks and now he won't take one at all! So now when he wants a little comfort, she has to jiggle him around and sing to him for ages (rather than popping his dummy in and giving him a big cuddle) which after a while and being a Mum of 3 kids, can become very draining!!!

[Liviam]

Hi Nox,
We all share your fears and worries about if we are doing what is best for our baby. It just doesn't go away. I just want to let you know that you are doing a great job and just when you think you have got your little munchin sorted out they go and change their routine on you and you are back to square one. Don't be worried about using a shield. I have to use a shield on both breast at all feeds and I'm still exclusively b/f my daughter with no signs of stopping. The best bit of advice I ever got was do what works!!!!
Hang in petal you are doing a great job.

[nox]

Would anyone wake the bub if he is going for a long daytime sleep? ie over 3 hours? I ask because he did a couple of those the other day and I thought let him sleep, but then he was awake almost all night unsettled and even with the dummy ....
Would waking him have made a difference?