Different behaviour around daddy?

[Arimeh]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else has this with their children?

DS is really VERY badly behaved around DH. Like, to the point that he is always getting in trouble, and is nowhere near that bad when its just him and me during the time DH is at work during the week. I'm beginning to dread weekends cos he's such a little turd!! lol He always talks over DH when he's trying to talk to me (which I know is just for attention) but its very annoying because its not like he is talking cos he has anything to say, he makes noises and screams and squeals - anything to disrupt our conversation. He is just so badly behaved, always does the things he knows he's not allowed to, never does what he's told, ignores us, even walks slower up the stairs in front of us when we are carrying something heavy.. all these things that he doesn't do (well not to the same extreme) when its just him and me.

I know DD1 is having a rough trot at the moment, she is getting her eye teeth at the moment, so isn't sleeping well, and is going through a "Daddy is best" stage at the moment, so she's a shocker when he's home as well, cos she wants to be picked up all the time by him - yet during the week, she's not that bad with me (well until it hits 3pm and everyone sorta goes downhill!) and then because she's doing that - DS decides he wants to be picked up as well and just whinges whinges whinges all the time.

But during the week they are normal kids - have their bad moments of course, but pretty good overall. Like, I seem to be more patient and not yelling as much during the week, but weekends I'm always cranky, yelling and have LESS patience because the kids are just so naughty.

I told my mum about it, and she said that its very unusual because usually kids are better behaved around their fathers?! DH is a bit upset about it, because he doesn't feel that he knows what DS is really like - his true personality - because he acts up and shows off in front of him, like he does when we have people around.

I said to DH that maybe its cos he only sees DS for like, 3 hours or something during the day on week days, and that DS feels that he has to get as much attention as possible during the weekends because he misses out so much on the week days. He doesn't do it for me of course cos he sees his boring old mother every day.. LOL

Could I be on to something, or is this really as unusual as my mother makes out?

[Junglemum]

Sounds a bit like is is competing for your attention and affection Mel? When DH is there he doesn't want to 'share' you iykwim.
Does he get any one on one time with just you or just your DH? Maybe it will help.
I am by no mean an expert, it just popped into my head when reading what you wrote.

[Jennifer13]

It might also be down to the fact that you are less able to give DS your full attention when DH is around. How often does DH give DS his full attention, without involving DD1? DS may be seeking your attention because he doesn't think he's going to get it from DH.

Also, you say you start to get crankier and have less patience on the weekends (because of DS's behaviour), but I assume this probably only makes DS's behaviour worse? Try to stay calm and if DD1 is grabbing a lot of daddy time, put some time aside when it's just DS and daddy too.

That's all I could think of. I know when DD wasn't great around DP, them going out and doing something together alone worked wonders and Daddy was flavour of the month for the rest of the day. But when they don't spend time together, she's completely Mummy's girl and won't have a bar of Daddy.

[Arimeh]

Competing for my attention? Geez you'd think the bugger would be sick of me after being with me all week.

I do take him if I want to go grab something at the shops, same with DH, and we leave the two girl at home with the other parent. DH mows the lawn with him alongside him, and he usually comes out with me when I hang out the washing.

Other than that - I do slightly more cleaning during the weekend, but thats it?

[kawazuki]

DD does this, but oposite, she is terrible with me most of teh time and the eprfect angel for hubby, she does what she is told hardly gets in trouble from him.

i figure its because she see him as teh authority and knows she cant walk over him, yet im the walk over so she tries everything to see hwo far she can push me.

also when she was younger i worked weekends and nights so she saw DH more than me as she was in day care all day then hubby picked her up i got home after she was in bed and then on weekends gone before she was up and home late..

so maybe some one on one time with DH for him and you step back when he is home and let him be the authority in the house IYKWIM??? he knows how far he can push you and what you expect. but is unsure what daddy expects as he isnt home alot due to work commitments.

but no i dont think its unusual at all, our 9 yo does it as well he knows who eh can push and push and who he has no chance and just does what he is asked..

[YoYo]

I noticed the same thing about my DS this weekend around DH.

DS isn't particuarly badly behaved, but is just CRAVING some real Daddy time and DH tends to use the weekends as a bit more of a relaxation time for himself. That's not really on for DS (or me for that matter!)

We live in Singapore so live in a condo, in a massive complex of 500 units. There is a massive pool in the middle and DH was going to take DS for a swim. There are a few people around the condo that DH associates with, and DS was a complete turd around them, whinging and whining......I think because he knows that these other people take away DH's focus on DS IYKWIM. If those people are talking to DH, then DH is not talking to DS and is just standing on the edge of the pool instead of allowing DS to splash around and have fun. It's almost like he tries to protect DH from other people, so he can have all the attention.

Perhaps your DH needs to spend a little bit more time talking to your DS and focus a bit more on him. Even if your DD1 is hanging off of him, at least talk to him. It seems hard for Men to be able to do that! I know that if I even utter a word in front of DH while he's watching the cricket, he does not hear a word I say!

I also think that because you are more frustrated and yelling at him a little more, he's probably trying even harder to turn to your DH?

Dunno!!!!

[kirsty_lee]

You know what's strange. Ava is the complete OPPOSITE. She's naughty with me (not everyday, but we're currently going through a phase to see who's boss in the house. Mummy or Ava.. pushing LOTS of boundaries). Anyway. She can be in the middle of a tantrum, and the minute she hears daddy come home the halo gets pulled out and dusted off and put neatly on her head. And butter wouldn't melt in her mouth lol .. I kid you not!