my ds is nearly 17mo. he has been BF, carried and slept in and out of our bed all his little life. he has never been a great sleeper.
he is a happy, excited, spirited and very friendly and engaged toddler (and always was, people were always amazed at how much he looks and his energy).
from about 10mo he dropped his day feeds. he eats 3 meals plus snacks, loves water and i have introduced milk as a drink recently and he loves that. i introduced the milk because after my stint at weaning, he took to a few extra day feeds so i have tried to discourage that and encourage the milk. i always feed him to bed then when he wakes at night.
this is becoming a problem -- the night feeds as he is waking more and more -- sometimes every hour! yes, all 4 molars are coming through and poking through now -- for a couple of weeks. he is otherwise healthy. sometimes i can soothe him with water, very rarely if he is in our bed, i can soothe with a pat (very rarely).
all things and advice on night weaning seems to suggest that your toddler was sleeping ok before. i have tried to wean and he screamed for over 1.5 hours with out looking like he was going to stop. however the next day he was no different to me, i couldn't try it again, so we have stopped.
i don't know what to do! i am thinking that i should move him out of the cot, maybe putting a double mattress there so that i can sleep with him to soothe, then leave him? maybe the best is just our bed? maybe none of it will work?
sorry for such a long post -- does anyone have any advice for me in terms of night weaning and sleeping?
we are happy with him sleeping in our bed in theory, but in practice, i generally end up on the couch (unless i'm in bed first, then DH is on the couch). DS takes up a bit of room when its there and when we are both in bed with him he does toss and turn and do the 'H'!
i would dearly love him to be happy sleeping in his own room by himself ... does that sound really selfish? i just never imagined that parenting would be like this or that i would take it on like this.
yep! i know exactly what you mean lol
i am still co-sleeping with my ds but he has weaned. when he wakes now (usually 1-3 times a night) he needs to be cuddled back to sleep, but i have to admit he has been sleeping longer stretches since i stopped the bfing. what happens if you give him a back rub/cuddle/spoon back to sleep? does that work at all?
sometimes i can do that ... like tonight, i tried the BF to sleep and he fell asleep really easily but woke 3 times in 1.5 hours! the final time, i didn't give him a boob, just water from his cup and straw (he drank a lot) then i just took him to our bed and he kinda woke a bit because i had to put him down to close the curtains etc. so i spooned him and he snuggled right into me. whenever i tried to leave he would wrap a leg over me or something. i left when he was fast asleep which only took 10 min really. but don't forget he was exhausted because he kept waking! i can't imagine that it would happen regularly!
there have been times at night when i could just shussh him in our bed (never in his cot). it has been rare. generally he will whine or even scream for a boob.
he actually self-weaned when he was 14months. it was around the same time as i started giving him a bottle of cows milk before every sleep and he just took to it really well- i have a feeling maybe me being pg was affecting my milk? idk, but he just loves cows milk so stopped wanting bfs so much..and then gradually just stopped. i also stopped offering him boob in bed though, instead i would sort of roll him over and spoon him and snuggle right up to him and kiss him and somehow it just started working in putting him back to sleep.
have you read 'no cry sleep solution' at all?
Perhaps it's not the road you'd want to go down, but I found DD starting sleeping better (in her own bed) when I introduced a bottle at about 10m. I did it because I felt she was waking in the night (up to 8 times a night) for the comfort of the BF. I'm all for allowing comfort but it was getting me to the point of sleep-deprived insanity, so I cut off all night BF after the last one at bedtime, and allowed her one bottle during the night (after midnight) The rest of the time when she woke, I held her and rocked her back to sleep (through some tears) It took maybe 3 nights.
From that point on, her sleeping has gotten progressively better in a gradual way. I still welcome her to our bed if that's what she wants, but it's not regular these days (makes it a lot better for DH and I - we all sleep better) And now she is sleeping through most nights.
Anyway, many do not recommend introducing a bottle, but it's been wonderful for us and I think it was the right path to take. HTH a bit.
weaning, bed-sharing (or not!) + sleeping (or not!)
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