What Age Do You Think They Start Understanding Reason/Logic...

[fionas]

DD is getting right into tantrums at the moment which I am trying to convince myself are not a bad thing just a sign that she's very determined and THAT'S a good thing. Sigh.

So the thing is, she's only 20 months so obviously she's a bit young to really understand when I say, "no you can't do that because ... "

But she does sometimes, not always, seem to understand me when I say something like, "change nappy, get dressed then we go out" as an incentive to get her nappy changed (which she hates).

So at what age did your little one really start to understand what you were saying when it was something they might not necessarily want to hear?

I'm not explaining myself very well because I'm tired. What I'm getting at is that DD understands a lot - I'm not worried about her development or hitting milestones at all, I'm just curious as to when you felt you were able to explain things to your kids to get them to do/not do something.

[Kazbah]

Good topic, I've been wondering the same thing. I think we had a huge tanty here today cause I didn't do "mummy cuddles" after his nappy change, before nap.

[Oorki Galoorki]

ds is 3 and a half and now starting to get the you do this and this happens..

kids like "patterns" you need your socks then shoes and then we can go outside..
if they are things you always do then they know what your saying will happen..
my dd 20 months can understand to DO things more then to NOt do things... but she talks so much now that i need to stop babying her in my explinations(bad mummy for babying)

[sazzafrazz]

DD is almost 15months and I can sort of do this with her on a very few things. EG if she has just put a huge piece of toast in her mouth and asks for more I can tell her to eat that one first THEN I will give her the next piece. I can't reason with her at all for things that I don't want to happen or are in the negative EG: dont do that or you will fall off. I still have to make it a positive like sit down please, and then praise. She is still only working for the positive things. No way can I say No or I will take it away. I still do it but there will be a tantrum because of not understanding.

There is no doubt that it is a gradual thing to learn. Hey, look at primary school kids: they are still learning that stuff! (actually I am still learning it and I'm 35!!!)

[Floweryfields]

I think it is individual according to the child. I know some 3 year olds who don't seem to have a grasp of reasoning - but I also know some 18mth olds who definitely do. It's like development, you can say that a child should be doing something by a certain age as all children are different.
Children do seem to know when they are doing the wrong thing from a fairly early age in toddlerhood though, once they show evidence of knowing they are doing something wrong, they can begin to learn about reasoning.

[luna moth]

From working with 1-2 years old for a long time, I would say they all understand from about 18 months. The frustrating thing about this age group is that they're really in a pushing boundaries stage. You can say "Put it back on the table" and it will go back on the table, only to be picked up 5 seconds later.
It's the same with "Shoes on, then we go outside" You might have to say it a billion times. It's not because they don't understand, but are craving consistency from you and ensuring that they're getting a clear message.
Having done 3 years of one-on-one care with this age group, and two years of childcare, I'd say that it's easier to look after 5 of them than it is one. At least every time you say that same message "Sit down while you're eating" (or whatever) they're all hearing it!

[mrsmac]

I am still waiting for my 17 yr old to understand reason and logic LOL

[kirsty_lee]

I am not quite sure scientifically when they understand. But I have said time and time again that babies are a heck of a lot smarter than what people think. DD is into the tantrum phase at the moment and she knows EXACTLY what she is doing, so much so that we have introduced the "naughty corner" she has clicked onto that very quickly. It took a while for her to understand that she has to sit in the same spot, about half an hour of picking her up after she follows me and putting her back in the corner, but she understands now that when she is there it's because she's been naughty. We're going through a "slap mummy and daddy in the face" phase and it's driving me nuts, but she knows it's wrong. So yeah im sure it will only get better with time ( the understanding that is, i know the tantrums only get worse lol) Good thread though darl, i'll be interested to see the replies.

[danniellabella]

I've been thinking about that too. DD is 13 months and throws tantrums and hits us and takes my glasses off my face. When she tries to take my glasses off I tell her "don't touch mummy's glasses" and then she will laugh and smile while she tries to do it again, almost like she's waiting to see what I'll do.

She's starting to jump if she hears our voices when she wasn't aware that we were watching her while she was doing something naughty, I think she knows when she's doing something naughty which is why she jumps when she realises that we're watching.