what do you do all day???

[clare076]

I am feeling like a really bad mother lately, in the sense that I don't feel like I am doing enough "with" Shelby. When DP is at home with her, he literally spends all day playing with her, but then he doesn't do any jobs around the house, doesn't cook dinner, shop etc. He also doesn't leave her to play by herself.
I usually get up in the morning (7am) turn the music on (wiggles CD) we dance and sing while I am making brekkie. We always eat together at the table, unless we have to go to an appointment, and then I will allow the TV on while she eats and I get ready.
If I am cleaning the house, I always encourage her to help as part of our play, although she is usually glued to the tv We then either sit down and play with blocks or if it's nice go for a walk outside to get the mail (its a long walk where I live)
After lunch she has her nap and then we usually do some type of craft activity ie paint, playdoh, gluing. By 3pm I am exhausted and really bored of "playing" so she is again watching tv and then of course there is dinner to cook, bath (which I am usually having with her) and then bed.

Am I just being a paranoid? Does this appropriate for a 16mnth old? Why do I feel so bad? Of course I have no experiance with this age group, so really dont know if what I am doing is right.

What do others do?

[christy]

I think it sounds fantastic for a 16 month old. Matilda was never into TV so I found I had to have more interactive games and story times but mainly we would go out to the shops or playgroup at that age.

[clare076]

christy what type of interactive games did you play? We do "where's your head etc," "what noise does the ... make" We also read and sing heaps of songs, We also go to playgroup on a monday, but I am going to start taking her on a Friday too as soon as she is over her cold. I just cant shake this feeling that I don't do enough.

[christy]

LOL we used to do singing songs with motions like "heads shoulders...etc etc"

Just played with her toys together, so stacking blocks, shape sorting... craft like pasting, bubbles and we would get a bucket of water and "wash up" toys outside on the verandah.
I would also take her to a park one morning a week... to get outside together and go on swings etc.

[~Jo~]

Its always hard knowing what is enough with toddlers. Right now Sammy's time is divided between Darren and I as we are both studying full time. He gets mondays and fridays, i get tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays. His out of home actiivties are gym on tuesday, playgroup on wednesday and fun centre friday...we were doing music on thursdays but ive dropped that as he didnt seem to be enjoying it very much.

At home I try to get him to do as much as possible because he is a very busy boy and will often start creating havoc if hes not busy lol. We read lots of books, do puzzles, play with playdough, do painting which he is absolutely loving right now. We do gardening together, he loves pulling out weeds and helping. He loves washing babies in the baby bath and having bubbles in it..more often than not he will climb in as well. He loves blowing bubbles, going on the swing, playing in the cubby and pretending to cook on the play stove. He is starting to enjoy dressing up like putting on silly hats and things. Puzzles hes not really into as much cos he tends to throw the pieces but your little girl might enjoy that. Stacking blocks are always a big hit here, both normal wooden blocks and the stackable ones. His tv viewing is very limited..he does watch the odd wiggles program ive recorded off foxtel and i will put those on when he is eating lunch and im eating mine.(and perusing bb!) Musical instruments are always fun to do cos littlies just seem to love them and its a fun way of being interactive. We also play gonna get you..(chasey) and hide and seek pretty regularly.

Have fun!!!!!

Jo

[lilprecious75]

DS is 14.5 months old and we don't do nearly as much as that in a day... so I could start feeling bad I think!
A typical week looks something like this...
Sunday: church, lunch out at the shops, weekly grocery shopping
Monday: playgroup in the morning, home for nap, then playtime in the arvo
Tuesday & Thursday: I "work" in my husband's office and DS plays there - I don't get a lot done but something is better then nothing
Wednesday: a "free" day - we either spend the day at home catching up on chores or we go visiting
Friday: mothers group
Saturday: family day and I have started taking him to the library in the mornings

Every day we go for a walk or go to the park as he is very active but I don't really sit down and play that actively with him and he is pretty good at playing as I go about cooking and chores and such.

So I'm wondering if I should be sitting down and actively playing with him more????? I will be watching this thread carefully to see what others have to say!

[Lucy]

I just cant shake this feeling that I don't do enough

Mother guilt!

I love my children, I really do, and I am sure I don't do "enough" with them, but I refuse to feel guilty about it.

By 3pm I am exhausted and really bored of "playing"

ME AND YOU BOTH!! LOL!

Honestly, I think, from what you have posted, you are doing a fine job. Shake off those feelings!

I did heaps with Olivia when she was my only one, and I never had enough time to do stuff with Charlie. Now that Olivia is 3 and Charlie is nearly 2, he is so much happier and content and plays independantly and imaginatively, whereas Olivia always needs me to play WITH her all the time, and it drives me mad!

[mbear]

Hon, im exactly the same, i have a lil voice inside my head that says 'your not doing enough'. Im a SAHM and do heaps with my girls too, we play outside, do craft time, go to shops - etc, etc. Family members often joke that we are the 'three musketers' - coz we're always together and always doing something.....why isnt it still enough? Like Lucy said, mothers guilt.....its hard to shake those feelings, esp whilst cooking another. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.....it sounds like your doing great by the way !!!

[kmh]

Sometimes I think i don't do much.
On Mondays we have playgroup
tuesdays madison is in Childcare
wednesdays mothers group
thursdays shopping and daddy is home
fridays we stay at home
sat normally go and see family
sunday do something with daddy.

We normally get up about 7am, Madisons has yoghurt whilst I feed Charlotte, then we have breakfast, TV is on channel 2.
Madison loves to cook so she likes to help cook dinner, or we make muffins etc. Madison loves to play with Charlotte, so they will play in her bedroom or with the blocks.

It is really hard to keep up with a toddler.

[paradise lost]

Well, Esme is 13 months and we do loads, but i too feel like i could do more...

Breakfast is between 7am and 8.30am depending on when she wakes (i let her sleep unless it's getting late late). She goes right in her high-chair and i make breakfast and sing to her and play peek-a-boo round the kitchen door.

After breakfast she goes on the floor with her (millions) of toys and usually there's about 40 minutes whle she'd engrossed in them on her own. Once she starts getting antsy for company i either get down and play with her or (if the weather's ok) we go out for a walk. We also do any shopping, general out-of-house chores at this time too. I try to tke her in the hip-wrap as much as possible so she can interact with me (i hate her facing away in her buggy! LOL). Then back home for lunch.

She used to nap 11am-noon and 4pm-5pm but recently she'd been doing this and refusing to sleep at bedtime so i'm trying a one-nap, after lunch, routine just now.

We eat all our meals together at the table. After lunch (12.30ish) it's naptime, so far for about 1hr30-1hr45. Then she gets up and we got out to "do" something - today the park, yesterday out on the bike with her in her little baby-seat, last week the modern art gallery, swimming, etc. The weather's been really good recently so i just coat us both in factor 50+ and we go play in the park for a few hours.

About 4.30pm we come home and i make dinner. SHe plays during this time or sits in the kitchen to watch (i let her taste any ingredient that isn't bad to eat raw, she's got very adventurous tastes for a 1 year old!) and i chat to her and show her stuff as i cook. Today we had lamb stew and couscous with tomato and mint salad...mmmmm... sorry, um, then it's dada time as xp comes over everyday after work and the 3 of us (or the 2 of them if i have stuff to do) play and have fun. We once taped paper to a massive area of floor and let her crawl through paint. LOL. At 7pm it's bathtime, then bedtime. She gets a cup of milk ater her bath and a story once she's tucked in. Then i collapse on the sofa in a heap. LOL.

I try to do most of my household stuff when she's in bed as it's less fun for her having to sit in the highchair while i mop the floors etc. Though today i did quickly hoover while her breakfast was digesting...

Ooops, forgot to mention - i never let her watch tv as she turn into a little zombie and i find it disturbing - nor a moral issue or anything, just a personal decision i made when it started happening. Also i was watching daytime tv and some of it is NOT suitable for a baby (all those people shouting at one another on reality shows etc.). I'm not banning her from it forever, just think she'll be able to deal better when she's 3 or 4 and the kids programmes are more relevant for her.

Hana

[btm2506]

It's so nice to read about the guilt factor. I was telling my husband only last night that I feel guilty because I get on here even if they are playing on the floor to give myself a time-out so to speak, but I feel I should be with them. He said to me that I can't be with them 24/7 and consider it a smoko and they need to learn to play with each other (I have twins) and they do that very well, as well as on their own. I do play with them but need the break as well. Thanks for making me feel better.

[Lucy]

Totally agree.......Charlie and Olivia are watching PlaySchool as I quickly nip on here........I can feel the tension drain away even if it is only for 5 mins!

[Tobily]

I think that's great!
Don't feel bad!
Daddies always get to come in and be the fun ones, same at our house. But someone has to look after the house, prepare meals wash clothes and all that other stuff. Toddlers need to understand that the world doesn't revolve around them and playtime all day. I don't think it does them any favours if you let everything slide and just sit around entertaining them all day. Independent play is good for them, it's good for their imagination and self esteem.