When DId You Fall In Love With Your Baby?

[Lulu]

My first two I totally fell for the minute they were born, oh what a delicious feeling! There was a loooong wait between them and that made lil DS even more anticipated than I thought possible.

The last one - well after an early loss I think the whole pregnancy was so traumatic I disconnected from her in utero. Her kicks felt alien and uncomfortable, and I just wanted it over with so I could start to connect with her as a live one. I was a little worried I wouldn't feel anything when she was born, but I did my level best to ensure an environment that I could facilitate that. Born in the water so I could lift her out to my own chest, no one was allowed to check boy/girl, only me. It was wonderful and euphoric and I have the same humungous grin on my face in all 3 birth photos.

[~Jo~]

For me, it wasnt the first time they were lifted onto me, or the first time I saw them but rather the first night where we could just sit just the two of us and look into each others eyes. I have always felt such awe at being chosen to be a mum to 5 beautiful children and each experience has been different, yet the same. Feeding and nurturing a baby and knowing that they are growing from you...just makes me love them all the more because they are soooo dependent. Im waffling..sooo sooo sooo in love with Ruby right now.

Jo

[Turkish Delight]

I would never ever tell my son that i don't love him. I just love him in a different way. I would never ever scar my child for life like that.

[Jennifer13]

I would never ever tell my son that i don't love him. I just love him in a different way. I would never ever scar my child for life like that.

Of course not, hun. I think it's not fair to expect everyone to love each of their children exactly the same anyway. Love is love is love. I know my Mum has her preference among me and my 2 sisters and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I prefer one over the other between them as well! She still loves me, just differently. As long as she isn't unfair in the way she treats us, what does it matter. Personality, circumstance, situation, all come into play.

If we could walk in another's shoes for just a day...

[Lulu]

We know you wouldn't Turk, s'ok.

[paradise lost]

Don't sweat it Turk, tact is unfortunately not universal! I really appreciate your honesty and don't doubt your loving care of your kids for one second.

I don't know how to answer this because i think falling in love is one term for a large range of emotions. Did i feel a rush when she was born? Yes i suppose i did but honestly i think it was oxytocin and relief. I have felt more and more love for her as the days and weeks and months and years have passed. I do love her, but am i "in love" with her? I don't know how to answer that!

I adore DP. Do i love DD more? No. I don't. I know that's a terribly unfashionable thing to say but there it is. She is my child, and i love her. I would die for her, give her my last of anything, do whatever it took to make sure she is safe and well and happy. But i know that if it came to it the motivation to do those things comes more from my point of view that i'm her mum, and i stand between her and oblivion, not from a feeling of being "in love".

If DP and DD were both in the sea i'd save her first, but only because i know he can swim better than her. If a bullet were speeding towards either of them i would leap to intercept it but for DD i would do it knowing it was my job, with DP i would do it without any thought at all.

If one of them had to die and i had to choose which i'd choose to have DD live, but only because it's my duty to do so. Not because of love. Loving DD is a responsibility and a duty and much of the time getting to do it is a complete joy. But loving DP was and is always only a joy.

Bx

[Dragonbub]

What a great question, and so many varied answers, each one as special in their own right.

I never really "fell" in love with DS, it was not really love at first sight, more just the reality of that love in physical form rather than the abstract form of pregnancy. All of a sudden he was there, as if he had always been there and all the time I had spent wondering on who it was growing inside me all of a sudden became him, and it was like it was ALWAYS going to be him. That doesn't make sense, I know, but it is as if I was never NOT in love with him, since the moment I myself was born.

There is simply no other love like it in all the world

[Jewel]

With both my boys it was when they were first put on my chest. Our first cuddles.
I think I had a bigger rush of hormones with DS2 though due to the birth and the need for rush rush at the end and almost not making it.

[Moi]

What a great topic and so many different answers.

I had a moment during the pregnancy where I thought I was going to lose my DD (around 28 weeks) and I just realised how much I already loved her! Then I had a c/s at 40 weeks and I couldn't connect that the baby they were showing me was the baby from my tummy! In recovery though I was dying to see her again. They took me back and I ended up being so ill I couldn't hold her for two days. But I couldn't stop looking at her bassinet and listening to her and watching her little feet on the change table while DH changed her. I was so in love by then. And finally I just decided that I needed to get better for her and I reckon will power helped heaps cos I had a huge turn around within a short time and was able to hold her again.

[csab]

I have to say that the moment I knew I was pregnant with all my kids I was inlove with them. Seeing, holding them for the first time just made my love that much more stronger for them. Olivia however was the only one out of all of my beautiful kids that I teared up with once she was taken out of me and I heard her beautiful sweet little cry. I really think that it was only because of having such a stressful pgcy etc that hearing her cry made it so much more emotional.

[Sair]

I am happy to announce that I am finally 'in love' with Xavier so it took 3 weeks with him, not sure why. All that matters it that it happened I guess. It might be that he has finally decided to start opening his eyes and acknowledge the world... Human emotions are strange and confusing sometimes

[Heaven]

Yay Sarah!! Happy for you!

[csab]

I do have to admit tho, I was trying really hard to fight the love I had for my last 3 bubs as I was scared of losing them. Also although I loved all my bubbas even moreso once born, with my DD4 I had a general c/s and believe it took a little while to bond with her after it.

[~Saram~]

With DS it was the moment I first held him, even though he was gross and slimy with DD it wasn't until she was about 5wks old and all the visitors had left and DS had gone back to school. It was the firt time I had been able to sit and stare at her while she was sleeping and just goo and gaa at her while she was awake. Up until then she seemed to be just another job that had to be done IYKWIM - feed the baby, take the baby here, baby to bed etc.

[Smoke Jaguar]

This is a fantastic topic and I hope a lot of people feel normalised by it!
I totally understand (well, not totally, but I can see how you could get there) how you wouldn't feel that overwhelming love right off, especially if you've had an interrupted birth process (for biological reasons which then become psychological - i.e. hormone interruption).
With DS it was instant and that surprised me I guess I was also thanking him for knowing what to do in there to come out peacefully, after I did everything I knew how to do to help him do that. It was really blissful and it just gets stupidly worse all the time.
Really, before the birth, I thought I could go either way.