When DId You Fall In Love With Your Baby?

ooh lovely thread!

I think for me it was when he was put on my chest right after birth - it was just amazing. I had thought I shouldn't expect too much for that moment, but it was everything I had dreamt of, and more.

For DH, a few days later, DS "smiled" (ok so maybe it was wind) but it was just as he was looking up at DH. I got a text that night (I was still in hossie).. it had made DH's day.. year.. his everything.

But paradoxically I still can't believe he's mine sometimes, but I just love him to bits.

^ Hahaha I remember the first time DD smiled properly, that big cheeky grin that's become her trademark... she was around six weeks old and I was an absolute zombie because the weeks since she'd be born I'd had nooo sleep, we woke up crying for a feed at 5:30 one morning and my mum was already out of bed, so instead of taking her back to bed with her bottle for a feed I sat at the table while mum was making herself breakfast. I was so tired, I was complaining to mum about how exhausted I was what a meanie-bum DD was being for keeping me in such a state, then mum started laughing and told me 'Look at your daughter'. I looked down and she was gazing up at me blissfully with the most ridiculous, gummy grin on her face... I just melted. That moment made all the hardships worth it.

great topic BTW.

As sad as it may sound, i still have not fallen in love with my son (6yo). I'm waiting for it to happen. Yes, i care for him and would never want anything bad to happen to him and want the best for him (like all of us mums), i just don't have that smitten love for him. When he was delivered by c/s and given to me, i thought of him as being my nephew or something but not mine. I just put it down to may be i was not ready to have a child (even though he was planned). He was a very very troublesome bub and still is troublesome. I had very bad PND with him. He causes me and DH to have arguments at times, always wants attention, talks too much etc..

I could not say this for my DD though. I love her to bits and bits and more bits. I love her. I found what motherhood is meant to be when i had her. When i was told i would be having a girl, held her for the first time, i was in love.

I am hoping to fall in love with my son too...

wow TD :( That must be rough. I hope you never tell your son that.

I fell in love with her as soon as she was born. I wasn't able to hold her until I was back in my room after spending half an hour in recovery from the c/s. I was so eager to see her and when DH brought her into me I bf her straight away. I didn't want to ever let her go... (I actually didn't feel that 'bonded' with her while I was pg at all and didn't think it would happen so quickly for me.).

My heart feels like it's being squeezed when I think about her, hug her and look at her. Her little chatter is the sweetest sound in the world. I would rather be with her than anyone else.

Never mind the bollocks RH - I know what you mean. I fell in love with my husband when I saw him waiting for me at the altar, it was amazing. The love I felt for him until then I hadn't experienced before. It was a calm, enduring, safe feeling and one I knew would last forever no matter what happened, and even though we aren't together anymore (I fell OUT of love with him), that enduring love and respect will always be there. We will grow old together but probably not in the same house - he has a rocking chair reserved for me on his porch :lol:

TD - its hard when a bubs isn't instantly loveable. I did fall in love with my boy when he was born, but he was an extremely hard baby to settle, calm, hold, kiss - everything and I know I felt rather 'removed' from him for a very, very long time. :hug:

MM - I'm pretty sure Turk is intelligent enough not to say 'hey kid, I I'm not really in love with you". It's these sort of thoughtless posts that give this place a bad vibe.

TD :hug: I think it takes a lot of courage to be that honest not only with youself but with a group of people.

MM I agree with Lulu maybe a little more tact next time

I really feel for you ladies that have felt some form of distance to your child. It must be a horrible feeling.
I hope I never have to feel that way.

Hugs to you...

DD and my relationship has been like a tumultuous love affair, LOL! I did fall in love with her at first sight, but perhaps it was infatuation - when the rubber hit the road I resented her dependence on me and grieved my old life. (But I always felt bad about those thoughts and apologised to her. And I still do, when I get impatient & dissatisfied with motherhood, and with her.)
And she wasn't a cuddly kid either. Some babies snuggle in close to you - well, she was never like that. When you held her she'd lean away. The only close cuddles I had with her were when she was asleep or feeding. In these times, my heart would just about melt out of my chest.
BUT, the love I have for her has massive peaks as well. And over time, the valleys have become far less frequent. Now that we are communicating a little more I feel like our relationship is far more stable :) (LOL, this is sounding so weird! But the analogy seems to work well.)

well i haven't even had my boy but i fell in love with him when i saw him at my scan at 21 weeks and when the ultrasound technition said theres no need to confirm he's definately a boy my heart just skipped a beat i really am in love with my baby:bellyrubs:

TD I know exactly how you felt. It took me 2 years to realise I was in love with DD1. I felt a cold distance to her. It really was when she was 2 and we were going through Triple P that I realised how fiercely protective of her and in love with her I was. She is hard work, but I realised that I wouldn't change her for anything. But for those 2 years, I felt guilty and dirty, like I was a horrible mother for not being instantly in love with my child.

With DD2, it was instant. In the womb, I felt that love. I think it was around the same exact time I realised I loved DD1. Same time I rubbed my belly and felt it.

It was difficult. At first I resented DS as I never loved his father (DS was concieved the first time we slept together) and had moved away from my family because I felt I had to, for DS' sake. It wasnt until I moved back to my hometown that I started to feel for him and now I can honestly say I love my little man so much it scares me (as I will be starting a custody battle soon). I never realised how much I love him until his father threatened to take him away.

I took me a while to fall in love with ds. He was (is?) what they call a 'difficult' baby and, more to the point, I knew nothing about mothering.

It happened gradually I think.. around the 4 month mark where I wasn't so stressed and could sit back and appreciate him more. These days, as trying as he can be, he is the love of my life and my soul mate.

Just on a side note- I love my dh very very much. But am I in love with him, in a grand, sweeping passionate kind of way? No, not at the moment. But all relationships are cyclic and as a result, that may change.

With both DS and DD is was as soon as they were put into my arms.
Its funny when you go to have your second child. You dont believe that you can love another human being the way you love your first child. How could you love anyone as much as that. I didnt believe it and was worried that i would not want DD once she was born. But once she was put into my arms, all that love came through and every day i just love her more and more. Its such an amazing feeling.

With Noah is was when I had my 12 week scan and knew he was going to stick, the love I feel for him is very strong, I would give my life for him in an instant.

Xavier on the other hand, I am still waiting for it to hit. I care for him and have tender moments here and there but nothing like what I feel for Noah. I think it is because I am feeling overwhelmed having a toddler, baby and house to look after. I think once I have some sort of routine the love will fall into place :pray:

First - thanks everyone for your honesty in your answers!

When DS was first born I felt nothing for him. For the first week or so particularly I was really just going through the motions. I did the things mothers do and said the things they're expected to say but...
We had a rough time the first couple of months, I'm not sure when it happened but at some point I realised that I loved him; that I was in love with him. So I'm not sure exactly when it happened...but it did for me

I think at first, i was more in awe, fascinated with Toby. On the 2nd day in hospital, i was staring at his name on the crib and thought "Wow...You're really here!" Toby had been named since i was 10 weeks pregnant (i just KNEW he was a boy!) That was when i fell in love with him...Staring at his name made the realisation sink in!

I told a friend this the same day when she visited us and i made her cry!

I continue to fall in love with him every day :heartbeat:

ETA: I just wanna say that this is a wonderful thread. I thought there was something wrong with me because i didn't feel that instant "WHAM!" of love when he was placed on my chest. I mean, i did love him, but didn't have that "falling in love" moment instantly that some ladies speak of. So it's reassuring to see that im not the only one.