When did you first leave bub with someone else, why, and for how long?
By someone else I mean someone other than bubs other parent...
SIL is bugging me to let her babysit Jazz, and she thinks I'll even leave her there overnight. Apart from a gazillion other issues i have with my SIL which I'll leave for another thread, I've never been away from Jazz for more than 2 hours and she was with Shel anyway so it doesn't really count.
When did you first leave bub in the care of someone else, why, and for how long?
Oh, and were you bfing?
How did you cope? Were youcomfortable with the idea, and with the person caring for your bub? Or does everyone feel like me (I don't trust my SIL as far as I can throw her to look after Jazz like we ask, that is, not letting her cry herself to sleep, DON'T give her chocolate, formula etc...). Did you know that they would look after your bub how you ask, or did you have doubts?
Man its doing my head in. Shel thinks it'd be nice to have time to ourselves, but I seriously can't even face the thought of leaving her. My heart is racing just thinking about it!
Is this normal? I don't feel comfy with it... should I just say thanks but no thanks, or is this just the feeling you get when you leave your bub with someone else for the first time? Am I just being too clingy to Jazz?
If you don't feel comfortable with the person then don't leave your bub with them, thats my philosophy.
DH and I AP and so far DS has only been left with his Nana and Grandma and thats it. We trust them to follow our ways of parenting. On one occasion I was going to leave him with a close friend who also APs but when I went round the day before to check she offered DS chocolate while I went to the loo, WTF! He was 4 months old.
You have be completely comfortable with the person. If you are not you will just spend the time you are away from Jazz worrying.
Honey - if you don't feel comfortable doing it - there's your answer.
You don't HAVE to leave her - its not a prerequisite for being a parent
I only leave mine with daycare cos I go to work. Ain't no way in hell I'd leave my baby with my IL's (DS is alright - he's too full on for them so they don't ask!! haha)
Just say no. It's ok to stand up for yourself and say that you don't want to do something ya know
I keep getting told (friggen ILs) that I'm smother-mother and clingy and she's gonna be a sooky baby if I don't start letting go (also if I don't stop bfing so I don't know why I listen to these quackheads) so I guess I just wondered if thats right, if everyone felt like no one could look after bub 'just right' IYKWIM.
I'll say no. I'm sooooooo not ready LOL I'll just pull out the bfing excuse!
Mason was around Jazz's age when I left him with my mum for a few hours. I just expressed a few bottles and he was set. It broke my heart...but we had to start somewhere!
Even now when he goes to day care it STILL breaks my heart. And soon enough he will be going to Kinder...school... omg! I'll stop now
JUst wait until you are ready. You will know when that is. And trust your gut with who to leave her with.
I'm going to be absolutley honest here. The first couple of weeks of my ds's life, I did not cope very well at all. I couldn't get away from him quick enough. (I had some PND going on there for a while). Subsequently, poor baby got left with my dh, my mum or my MIL at least once a week for a about 3 to 4 hours. I expressed a bottle or two to leave him.
And he is still a sooky clingy baby
These days I'm different- I feel like you do now. I hate leaving him with anyone, especially my MIL. i don't even like to leave him with dh
Everyone is different. Do it when you are comfortable, because if Jazz can sense your comfortable with it, she will be too.
I'm leaving Arabella for the first time tomorrow with my mum... I am a little nervous...
I have a meeting to go to at work and I usually take her with me, but she is starting to get a little loud LOL...
I am only going to be away for about 2hrs, but I will be missing her every second..
My DD13 will look after her if I need to duck down to the shops and I'm all cool with that, but feel a little apprehensive about mum watching her. Don't get me wrong, my mum is super with her...
Like the other's have already said, don't do it if you don't feel right about it. Sure there are going to be nerve's the first time you leave her anywhere, but if it don't feel right, forget it..
BTW, I haven't even let my DF look after her alone yet... he's not too good with the kiddies..
From my experience i think it is a big step to leave your little baby with anyone else and something you will have to really think about in order to choose someone you trust to leave Jazz with.
I never thought i could do it but i did. We live out of town so when we came to adelaide for our 6 week checks my parents were nice enough to stay in the same hotel as us. I was breastfeeding 2 hourly but each nightmy husband and i would rush off for an hour for tea and leave our daughter with my parents. They did a great job and i trusted them 100% but i still found myself running back to them as soon as we had gobbled down our last mouthful.
When Bella was about 4 months old mum came to visit and i used that as a chance to spend a day at work just catching up on things so that when i went back it wasnt such a drama. Mum brought Bella in for feeds and i was totally relaxed knowing she was in good care.
My MIL is lovely but not overly maternal so i still stress when i leave bella with her and bella is 8 months old. I know she loves her i just worry that she will do things differently to the way i do.
Having said all that it still all depends on the day. I tried leaving bella with my mum when she was 5 months old and i was going to tea but bella was tired and wouldnt settle before i left and i got the guilts and came home halfway through eating my tea.
I guess basically my point is you will get a gut feeling about who to leave Jazz with and if Jazz is upto it on that day. It is hard at first, but i think if you trust the person it ends up being something you will look forward to so you can have a rest. Let us know how you go.
I agree with the others if you dont feel comfortable dont do it.
Sophie had her 1st sleepover at SIL's at 10.5months as we had a Christmas party to attend, we trusted her to follow our way of parenting. Sophie ended up getting her 1st tooth while she was there.
When Jazz was 5 weeks old we left her with our closest friends for a few hours while we went to an engagement party. I rang them a couple of times to make sure everything was ok. They were great with her. We trust them so much. The wife is quite over protective so we know that she never takes her eyes off Jazz. Though now that Jazz is older she knows that her 8 year old daughter can play with Jazz more and her daughter is really mature for her age so we don't have a problem with the 2 of them being left alone in a room for a few minutes.
I didn't leave my DD with someone (her godmother, not a relative, especially not my MIL!!!) when she was about 7 mths old. I started doing so regularly, twice a week, soon after that. But it was only for four hours at a time that I was away from her and I was working. She was bf, although she did take other foods by this stage. I would bf her immediately before leaving and then as soon as I returned. Not once did my GF need to give her a bottle of EBM that I would leave. She would offer her yoghurt (DD's fave then and probably still!) as an afternoon snack and some fruit (from memory), which I would leave.
I was held up in traffic once and DD was desperate for bbs once I got there - but she never starved!
I don't think I was 'ready' to leave her then, but I work for myself and had an opportunity with a new client that I didn't want to turn down. It lasted for a few months, and by then, I was much more ready to leave her. I started leaving her for longer from about 13-14 mths, but never more than 9am-3pm.
I still haven't left her overnight, she still bfs and I would miss her horribly. Not to mention how much she'd miss me! I am feeling almost ready to do this now (come on DD, time to self wean!!!).
Hope that helps! Tell them to back off. It's only natural to want to keep your bub with you and why shouldn't you? Wait until YOU feel you need a break or want to get something done, not when your family want to steal her!
PS BTW my DD is nearly three now and started preschool at 2. She is the most confident, social and happy kid, so my 'need' to keep her with me as much as possible and continued bfing certainly hasn't made her clingy. She still loves me best , but she's very happy to do her own thing.
I have left Ashton with my mum for the WHOLE of 10 minutes while I ducked to the shop and he was asleep. Would I leave him longer? NO WAY!
I also left him in Child Care for a few hours this week while I did my tafe course, having said that the child care is in the building where I was doing my course (through Centrecare) and my other 2 boys go there reguarly. So if he needed a feed or even whimpered they called me immediately and I was 2 minutes away.
Would I leave my baby for an extended period, with someone else who I have issues with, not within a minute or 2 away... NOPE.
Both my boys were pretty young when I first left them, but it wasn't for long, say 30min to an hour. Si's first time I think he might have been 2-3 weeks old, and mum was over, I fed bub and then dh and I nicked out for coffee.
Some lessons from that - you have to want to do it, and bub should be left with someone you trust!
If you don't want to do it, and you don't trust the person - it's a no-brainer Leash.
I left DD with my MIL who was here from Scotland staying with us when Paisley was born. She was about 6 weeks old and I only left for an hour or so. I was breast feeding but was also comp feeding so she took bottles OK. I expressed some milk and left that for her. I was very distracted the whole time but DH really wanted me to allow his Mum to have her. I am blessed to have a fantastic MIL and I know she is very competent so DD was in excellent hands, still I fretted. It's only natural I think.
When did you first leave bub with someone else, why, and for how long?
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thanks.
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