I have to see one side of it. I get angry sometimes with my mother - she often says she would have had a 5th, but decided against it. While I have no doubt my mother loves us all (despite never vocalising it) sometimes I have felt throughout my upbringing that we were sort of a collection, we were all told we had to do well in life, had enormous expectations, and were made to feel like failures. yes I have issues with my mother, and while they did a great job of providing for us, I do think sometimes that her need to have 4 children wasn't out of a wish to spend more time with children, but just to have more.
She is currently going through the same thing with her dogs having just got another puppy. She is up to 3 dogs, and while she gets pleasure from them, you can see she's still not happy.
I on the other thing only want 2-3 children. I want this number because thats the number for me that will make my family seem whole. I dont want more cause I knew what it was like, and I dont want only 1 as I dont think its fair. I wanted them as close together as poss asI just wanted the whole dependency on my body out of the way as quickly as possible, so I could concentrate on making my family whole.
I definitly count my blessings that I have been ableto conceive easily, and I know people who can't. For me its not a void - rather a sense that this is what is right for me and my future. I look forward to cherishing my children and raising them to be strong and confident, and at peace with themselves.
I can see your point mbear - I think I know many women in their 50s/60s now who merely had children "because". My ex MIL was certainly one. She didn't have a maternal bone in her body. My mother is a capable woman, but not a nuturing mother. Had she stopped at 2 though - I wouldn't be here!!!!
