worst mum...smacked my daughter...it is not right

[queenbee]

I am the worst Mum in the world right now.

This afternoon, I was drinking out of a glass on the floor and DD walked up and looked at me and wanted a sip but it was lemonade so I didn't give her a sip, I just said no to her and then she hit the glass really hard and it spilled all over me, the floor and her.

I was so annoyed with her actions that I smacked her on the leg out of anger. She screamed like you wouldn't believe. You have no idea how bad I felt after that moment. She then hugged me about 5 minutes later, looked at me with those big blue eyes and the bottom lip went out.

I really wish I could turn back time, I didn't smack her hard but I feel so awful. I never smack her. I am asking myself why I did it.

Tonight I am just so upset about it.

[mrsmac]

Don't feel bad hun, I am sure there are heaps of us on BB who have done the same thing (I know I have)

[queenbee]

Smacking is not right, I don't want her growing up with aggression, I set a really bad example this afternoon. It really shocked me she hit the glass too, she has never done that.

[aussienic]

Olivia has just started hitting out as well. i am not sure why she does it.. She will hit me or something i am holding..

I have tapped her on the fingers to.. She bit me really hard and I said to her don't bite Mummy and she did it again so I tapped her fngers and put her on the floor and she screamed and screamed.. I felt horrible..

[Arimeh]

Yup I think its just a natural reaction really!!!! Out of shock!!! I know I hit DS when he bit me for the first time - OMG.. I was so shocked it was the first thing that came to me to do!!!

So don't beat yourself up about it. You've done it, you know how crappy it makes you feel - so chances are - you won't go back there again.



Have a glass of wine to go with that lemonade darl.

[sneakysparkle]

awww hun dont be too hard on yourself, youre only human afterall

I did the same thing a few weeks ago - DD1 hit DD2 really hard on the head when I was BFing, and I just lost it with DD1 - I was so shocked she would be so violent with her sister! It was awful.

[danniellabella]

I give my daughter a firm, not enough to hurt tap on the bum after telling her several times to sit down in the bath, mainly because of the danger factor associated with standing in the bath though. She's 11 months old but does understand what no and sit mean.
I do think sometimes a smack is necessary, please don't judge. Each parent, child and situation is different. I don't want to start a smack v no smack debate. I respect your conviction and decision not to smack and for that reason I understand why you must be feeling bad about this. As for me and my daughter, I will let the situation dictate how I discipline, but would like to use smacking only as a last resort after other things haven't worked.

[kirsty_lee]

I do think sometimes a smack is necessary

Agreed! Don't beat yourself up babe, you didnt beat the living bejeebus out of her. As mel said you realised what you've done, your not happy about it, so chances are you wont do it again. I myself have smacked dd before but it was the same as Danni where I'd told her something numerous times and she didnt listen.

[Ezz]

I know how you feel! I have done this to DS too It's easy to beat yourself up over it - you love your DD & hate that you have hurt her. But, at least you have realised that it's not the kind of parent you want to be! It's easy to strike out in anger (and often that's what smacking is - rather than a deliberate, rational attempt to discipline). It's so good that we can learn from our mistakes - and that our kids are so forgiving

[Glamourcide]

Smacking is not right, I don't want her growing up with aggression... It really shocked me she hit the glass too, she has never done that.

Trust me, whether you smack or not, kids will use aggression and violence as a way of venting their frustrations when they are too young or inarticulate to express their feelings in a verbal way. Kids hitting, lashing out, biting, gouging, pinching etc has so little to do with the form of discipline their parents use, and almost everything to do with feeling a certain way and being unable to communicate it.
Don't beat yourself up over it - we all have our little lapses in parenting perfection!! They do get over it though, the tears and tantrums resulting from a smack on the bum/leg are more due to hurt pride than anything physical. They forgive, they forget - no reason for you to dwell on it if they're not!

[Visitor8]

oh that is SO true Donna!

[*becstar*]

From the textbook GothMum! Kids do hit out especially around this age because their communication resources aren't all there yet and it's frustrating. It's not right and acceptable either but it's bound to happen, I'd be surprised to find a kid who didn't.

On your part, I agree with so many others, don't feel too bad, they forget so quickly. Sometimes (I know with me) when its in reaction to a dangerous situation I just react before i think.

In our household we very rarely smack, and if we do it's a reaction to something dangerous and never enough to really hurt them, just shock them iykwim. Even so my 5 year old DS still lashes out when he's angry, and I cop it. It's hard to remember it's because he can't vent his frustration in a better way and to be patient and teach him the right way. I get a little lost with this stuff as he's a very clever little guy, it's so easy to forget that he's still only 5. The best way to deal with behaviour like this (and your DD may be a little to young yet, could be worth a try though) is to give them 'time out', remove them and give them time to calm down themselves. I send DS to his room, when he was little (around 2) I'd make him sit on his little foam couch for a couple of minutes.

sorry if I've ranted for some reason i can't read the first page of your post so I apologise if i've gone off on a tangent. GL