My son is 4 mths and old after a recent holiday is totally out of wack with sleep. He sleeps well when he goes down which is around 7 pm and has two overnight bottle at 10:30 and again between 3 and 4. I have inadvetantly made him dependent on rocking to get him to sleep and three days ago started putting him down awake in his crib to learn how to self settle. The first day it took him between 45 and 30 min aprox, yesterday it took about 20 -30 min and today anywhere between 15 and 30 min. He doesn't cry as such just the occasionaly loud 'waa' with pauses. If he startes to creams or sounds like a wet cry (a continuos cry with tears) I go in straigh away and bring him back out.
So my question is it ok to leave him on his own to settle if I know he is clean, full and not in any trouble? Some of the reading I have done lately says it is and it is making very confused.
Seth used to grizzle, but a cry is way different to that. And if he was unsettled but not crying I still would stay with him till he was calm before I left the room. Some babies do have a bit of a grizzle but so long as its not a big cry I would say no its not CIO.
I leave Jesse to grizzle. If he's still grizzling after about 10 minutes I go in.
If he starts to get upset I go in.
When I go in, I re wrap him give him a cuddle & the dummy if just the dummy doesn't work, then put him back down & do it again.
Right now he's been in there not making a sound for about 10 minutes - refuses to go to sleep tonight. He's just started talking/winging. I'll give it til he's just winging, not breaking it up with talking to go in.
There he goes. Off to try & sleep.
look i don't think there is a definitive right or wrong, yes or no answer.... everyone has their own opinion, but you just have to do what works for you and your baby, and what you feel comfortable with.... if you feel comfortable rocking him in your arms for half an hour before bed then that is fine, or on the other hand, if you are comfortable with teaching him to self settle in his cot with a bit of waaa-ing or grizzling, then that is fine too.... its up the the individual, and what works for some babies won't work for others... you're the mummy and you have to just trust your instinct and do what you deem right for you and bubs, ignore everyone else (!!!)...
my two cents is, its important to give bubs the opportunity to self settle, a bit of protesting and grizzling is fine and certainly isn't going to harm him, a serious cry though, at this age, i would be consoling and soothing him..... i do understand though that self settling wont work for all bubs and i honestly think our expectations on babies are way out of control (i wish i didnt expect so much in the early days, maybe i wouldn't have been so disappointed?)... on the other end of the spectrum, i have left my dd to cry it out for longer periods, because anything i did to help her ONLY MADE IT WORSE.... i think its all about flexibility and doing what is right at the time.... it will continually change.... once they learn language it does make it a heap easier, as you can explain that its time for bed, so they know whats going on.... until then try to be predictable and have a mini routine before each sleep or nap.... for us its usually a bottle, say goodnight to the fish in the fish tank, cuddle teddy and into bed...
Thanks for the suggestions ladies. I do have to say I have noticed an improvement. Today he went down for two naps happily and did not protest. I gave him his dummy and blanket and off he went. When I put him down tonight he waa-ed for about 10 min and then sleep. This is much better the 3 days ago when he was on and off for ages. I think we might be starting to get there.
That's great that what you're doing is working Macca.
FWIW, I chose a middle ground which was rocking DD to a relaxed, sleepy state but never putting her down asleep. If she got upset, I would either just start again or after a few goes, I would get her up. I think that taught her to self-settle and now she's a fantastic sleeper. Tonight she WAVED to me and gave me a big smile when I put her to bed!
I could never quite believe it when people said they could put their babies down without doing anything and they would self-settle. But DD did gradually get there and I'm glad I did what I did.
Crying it out...is that what I am doing?
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks