Need help with 2 year old toddler going to sleep now newborn arrived home!!!

[Mum2Willie]

I would love help!!!

My toddler (turned two last Friday) has had one sleep in the day at midday for 45min-1.5hrs . I lay with him to put him to sleep (if he did not fall asleep in the car on the way home).

Then he had bedtime routine of dinner at 5pm, bath at 6.15, into bed and Mummy lie with him and was asleep by 7.30pm.

He sucks thumb and twirls my hair to put himself to sleep. He has a stuffed toy (doggy) the he also cuddles.

This routine worked until baby Sophie came home and now (two weeks since Soph has been home) he is extremely naughty re sleep. In a word, he flatly refuses to go to sleep!!!!

Since last Friday night we have not been able to get him to sleep by lying with him in his own room - last night he fell asleep on the couch with me watching tv at 8.15pm, the night before in bed with me at 10pm!

Today, he flatly refused to go to sleep at lunchtime - and he gave me very cheeky faces. I ended up getting him to sleep by going to the shops and he fell asleep on the way home.

Questions - I don't want to used controlled crying - never have - but what do I do??? Just before xmas I got him into his own bed in is own room - he co-slept with me in my bed from 9mths - 15mths...then on a mattress beside my bed until xmas time...then he moved into his own room and own bed (which he did with no fuss at all!!!). From birth until 9mtns he slept in his cot in his room (until sep anxiety started just as I returned to work). Hence, I have never used control controlling...but I need to do something...He is now ruling the roost!!!! I admit it but don't know what to do!! Especially as I am exhausted with a newborn who is feeding every 2 hours!!! (she is only little).

If you have a two year old, do they still daysleep - wondering if I should be dropping it???

Also, what time do they go to sleep at night???

It seems like all the hard work, I put in the get him ready for this baby (sleeping in his own room with no fuss) has gone out the window.

Please, would love advice!!!!

Oh - have moved baby into my room in a basinett so that her crying doesn't wake him in the night! This has helped - so he can't come back in with me really as an option!

[PinkPalace]

hi there!
lots of things have changed in your toddlers world recently!

I think the best thing is too stick to your routine! make sure they realise that just because there is a new baby, they still get their quiet time and bedtime has not changed!

Can DH help with baby to get after feed etc so you can focus on the toddler?

I dont know what your day is like - but i would say from experience your active involvement with your toddler has dropped dramatically as you are spending time with bub, feeding, burping, changing etc.

What is your toddler doing during the day?
I find tv is wonderful for peace and quiet but it evil in the long run for your toddler. - can you limit this?
Can you try to engage in active play more (i know that is hard) like your toddler used to have before baby came along - park dates etc - esp the 3-5pm before dinner so they are tired rather than wired before bedtime?

My DD goes to bed at 7pm every night. We are strict - we show her the clock and ask her what number it is and then put her to bed. We have 1 book and then i ask her to roll over quietly and close her eyes and then i read outloud a novel of my own (usually asleep within 10).
If she gets up and wanted to play i tell her to pick and option, book or mummy leaves.
she then feels like she has power in choice and of course picks mum book.

Changing sleep routines is hard (trust me it wasnt alwyas this easy for us- we had nightmare of a time settling - esp when #1 would wake # 2 then visa versa for hours!).

But being strict in routine let DD know what we expect and what happens for bedtime.

It doesnt matter what you choose to do just be consistent (even though you are exhausted!) and i highly advise to tire your toddler out during the day like they did prior to a newborn in the house.


Oh and no day sleep here! hasnt since 18 months (unless she falls asleep in the car). this is perhaps a major reason why your little one it up so late too
HTH

xx

[studymum]

Could it be that he may not be needing a nap during the day anymore, I know a few 2 year olds that stopped having them because it was affecting their night time sleep. DD1 is getting to this stage already (she is almost 2), she fights nap times during the day and ends up going late in the afternoon and wanting to sleep for a couple of hours but then ends up not wanting to go to bed at night. I originally thought it was the arrival of DD2 but I noticed she wasnt really tired. We tried stopping the nap during the day but she wasnt quite ready for that yet and couldnt make it to bed time, so instead she has started going down for her nap at 2.30 and only letting her sleep half an hour, it gives her enough to make it to bed. It seems that this nap is getting later and later though, today it was 4 oclock, so I am guessing eventually it will stop.

[studymum]

Forgot to add that she is a 8.30pm till 8am sleeper and was a 2 hr napper at 1.30pm (until recently) I know it sounds late but we could never change it.