Creditors- why are they so cruel (long)

[Ella]

Some of you may know we're pretty badly off after DF being amde redundant several times in the last year. Anyhow our biggest debt is a $20,000 loan that has been sent to the creditors. Now at the moment we are trying to catch up the rental arrears on out house so that they will give us another lease.

I've just had the creditor ring me and accuse me of lying- they're saying I'm married because I have reffered to DF as 'my husband' (we've been engaged for 2 years who hasn't) they are also saying that I am lying about how many children we have as the person who served us with legal documents recorded 'children' instead of 'child'.

This woman on the phone was so bloody cruel she actually yelled at me when I said that we would try to make payments starting in 3 weeks, saying "WELL YOU HAVEN'T DONE THAT UP TILL NOW HAVE YOU?" How unprofessional.

I ended up saying to her at one point, if you could just stop for a second, we are trying really hard to get our debts in order and I understand that you have money to collect but we are people."

She didn't care, she threatened forcing us into bankruptcy, told me that the legal advice I have been given is false (just to scare me) and tried to force me to agree to paying $150 a week starting today.

I am left crying my freaking eyes out. I feel so broken, I manage every week to stretch our money as far as it will go and we are trying so hard. I don't know what to do. We don't want ot go bankrupt because we know how long that will affect us for and DF is trying to get as much work as he can at the moment.

Sorry and thanks for listening, don't need anything back, just feel hurt.

[Visitor7]

I couldn't read and not say anything. Unfortunately I don't have any advice, just big . I really hope you can find a way out of this.

[Ella]

Thanks Jodi big hugs is what I need and I'm home alone

[AliBaby]

Oh hun I am sorry that the woman was so nasty to you.

I know you probably dont want to speak to them again but is it worth calling up again and speaking to someone else and telling them how the phonecall went down?

[Ella]

Alibaby- It probably is worth it but I don't think I have it in me, have just spoken to DF who is alot more laid back about it than I am, which has made me eve more upset because I feel like he is ignoring the fact that it is going to take us 5 years to pay this off and these people won't be happy till the debt is gone...

[Ella]

Muppity- exactly unfortunately they don't commend us, she told me " you have to go to you parents and they have to pay it otherwise you will be bankrupt" She ended up making me agree to $100 a week payments starting in 4 weeks, but I don't know how we will do that and it's going to mean even less food and my dreams of buying some new underwear will be out the window lol

God I must have asked to be taught some very harsh lessons this lifetime...

[Muppity]

Alibaby- It probably is worth it but I don't think I have it in me, have just spoken to DF who is alot more laid back about it than I am, which has made me eve more upset because I feel like he is ignoring the fact that it is going to take us 5 years to pay this off and these people won't be happy till the debt is gone...

Hun if you are in a position to agree to repaying a certain amount every week/fortnight and they agree to it and you stick with your repayment schedule they shouldn't continue to hound you or come chasing you. So long as you stick to your side of the bargain they should be happy.

[AliBaby]

I have dealt with creditors before and have felt bullied in a way. I had a GE debt that got passed to creditors. In a way I was happy that it did so that I wasnt paying the interest anymore as I couldnt get ahead paying 27% interest on the card. The first person I spoke to was so rude and upset me so much - wanted me to ask friends or my boss for money to pay the debt in full right away (WTF!!!) and I was quite upset at that. Rang back the next day and spoke to someone else and worked out a payment plan that I could afford (just).

Just giving you an example as there are some really nasty ones out there and some that are more underestanding in a very stressful situation

In the past it has helped if I have written down in front of me what I need to tell them so that I dont get flustered by them and can get my points across.

Maybe when you feel like you can talk to them again, give them a call. Even if its tomorrow.

Some good advice from Muppity as well.

[Bathsheba]

Yes, if you can request a copy of the phone call that would be great.

To answer your question: my guess is that they are paid commission or something... or that they themselves are on the receiving end of some pretty foul language. I know that doesn't mean they should be so mean to you... just a possible explanation.

And yes. That is very unprofessional. Don't subscribe to it. Maybe tell them that YOU are recording the call. And do what government agencies do if the client becomes aggressive... tell them that the degree of aggression is unacceptable and that you are going to terminate this call (never hang up without warning). Remain calm. Maybe their strategy is to frazzle you so much that you won't be able to keep your "story" straight But try not to take their accusations personally... they most likely do it to everyone.

The only creditor I have had is the school where I send my DD (late school fees)... but they are always polite so i can't say I have had any negative experience... but my DH works in the finance industry and tells me some horror stories of people's attitudes.

you WILL get through to the other side of all this darl. Hold tight. Retain your dignity. it sounds like you are doing really well. Speak ultra respectfully to them and tell them that "it must be really difficult doing your job" empathy always gets people on side. But don't lower yourself. When something they say hurts visualise water sliding off a ducks back... don't you dare absorb it



ETA: excellent advice Muppity!

[Ally79]

Wow that's rude, if i were in your position (and i have been) i would ask for a copy of that phone conversation. They are required to tape every call. i would also be asking for all contact to be made via letter from now on.

Big to you

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

That's disgraceful! I would be contacting her superior about that - you may be in debt, but you're still a human being. You could possibly even contact the relevant ombudsman, it's not a question of whether or not you're gonna pay, but you should absolutely not be treated that way.

Also, have you thought of contacting someone like Fox Symes? Their ads are always on here - they use their contacts and experience to roll all your debts into one payment, and bring the repayments down far lower than the normal person can. One girl on here actually ended up paying less out each fortnight, but got a better credit rating!

Good luck Hun - I know what it's like to be abused by creditors, and trust me, once you speak to the right person, you'd be amazed at how much easier it can get

[Muppity]

Aw hun

Try not to let them get to you. Debt collectors do their job by getting nasty as it is usually how people respond best for them (ie pay up)

Take a written note of every contact that you have with them. Don't make rude comments in your note, but if someone is agressive then note that they were and ifyou can remember what they said write that down too. The best policy is to always be honest with them and never agree to do something that you know you won't be able to.

Just remember that debt colectors only get paid if they get the money so they try any method that they think they will work. Interestingly they usually try intimidation first on women whereas they usually try negotiation first with men.

So if you are getting really stressed about it tell them that you can't speak to them right now because you have a distressed baby but if you can have their number you would be happy to have yourself or your DF ring them back. That way you (or DF) are prepared for the conversation and they aren't quite so much - probably have to get yoru file out etc - so it gives you the upper hand.

Good luck. I commend anyone who trys to work through their debt rather than taking the seemingly "easier" options.