What would you do?

[Blondie]

At the moment DH is working casual arvo/night shift so I couldn't do any night work, weekends are out because he works Friday, Saturday and some Sunday's. Really my only option is Monday and Tuesday's.

Re-financing might be an option if he was still on a big income. Being on a casual income the banks wouldn't accept us.

We didn't speak about it any more last night. I am not sure how to bring it up again with him, I just want to know what steps are being taken to get this under control. I might let him think on it a few days (my DH does a lot of internal contemplation) and then bring it up once exams are over and Uni is finished for the year in November. He might be in a more relaxed state of mind and might be actually able to make a decision.

Thnaks everyone for your advice. Sometimes it's hard to come up with idea's when you have too many emotional issues in play.

[Rowellen]

That amount for childcare seems excessive. I'm assuming that is the full price. Do you get CCB & CCR?

Does your DH look after your DS when he is not at work? Is it possible that you could work extra days for a while, and your DH look after your DS those days?

[Blondie]

We do get CCB and CCR now, but that has only taken effect recently. It does help, hopefully once bub #2 comes along it will be more helpful

DH goes to Uni full time during the day and works during the nights so looking after DS during the day wouldn't work for us.

Does anyone know if you can make an appointment with a persona from Centrelink to discuss entitlements? Talking on the phone with them is so annoying, I don't know what others experiences are like but I keep getting told different things everytime I call now I have started asking for a reference number for the call.

[Cass72]

Sounds like a sensible solution. Working full time and studying is hard work but definitely doable. I've done it many times, and I'm currently studying whilst working 4 days....

Soundly advice. By selling your house you're stepping out of the housing market.

As someone who is not in the housing market (and paying $560 per week in rent) it is demoralising to realise that a mortgage would be more affordable but we are stuck in a catch-22 (have to rent, can't save the deposit because we rent, but could afford to pay a mortgage off).

With regards to (some of) the other things.... (please don't bite my head off) .... I think he's right.

Clearly you both worked hard to get a home to raise your children in. I wouldn't want to lose it either.

Kudos to him for taking on university (I don't know what he's studying but his start salary on completing a degree will be a lot higher than without a degree - you can get to the same salary but it takes a lot longer) and working part-time. It would be hard work studying during the day and working at night.

I understand that he doesn't want you to work full-time. You will have two children to look after and the childcare costs could outweight the income you might receive from a full-time position. Not to mention that you will have two extra days to get up early and get everyone off to work/uni/daycare. Then there's the coming home thing....cooking dinner, day to day jobs. Is it worth the extra stress?

I used to take Mondays off. I loved Monday's everyone was at school/work and I could catch up on cleaning, baking, shopping and me time.

Men like to provide. Well, at least my DH does. And, FWIW I like (I mean really truly like) ironing his shirts, preparing a fabulous dinner, tidying the house and "looking after" him and the kids. He does the "blokey" jobs - garbage, cars, lawns, spider removal, gardening... he also cooks me breakfast every single morning and masages my tired feet at the end of the day.

It sounds like you are feeling a little overwhelmed with the money.

When money gets me down I sit down and work out what I need to pay out that payday. Quite often the outgoing is more than the incoming. I prioritise things: roof (rent), heating (electricity), food (groceries), transport (petrol/car). Things always work out - sometimes I think I should have been an accountant!

By all means make contact with your local centrelink office and request an interview. You might be surprised by what you are entitled to.

Your DH sounds a lot like mine. While I'm stewing and fretting over things he is calmly sorting it out in his head. I'm the emotional one and he's the logical one.

Take care hun and just don't make any rash decisions (such as selling up) before seeking further advice.

[Blondie]

Soundly advice. By selling your house you're stepping out of the housing market.

As someone who is not in the housing market (and paying $560 per week in rent) it is demoralising to realise that a mortgage would be more affordable but we are stuck in a catch-22 (have to rent, can't save the deposit because we rent, but could afford to pay a mortgage off).

With regards to (some of) the other things.... (please don't bite my head off) .... I think he's right.

Clearly you both worked hard to get a home to raise your children in. I wouldn't want to lose it either.

Kudos to him for taking on university (I don't know what he's studying but his start salary on completing a degree will be a lot higher than without a degree - you can get to the same salary but it takes a lot longer) and working part-time. It would be hard work studying during the day and working at night.

I understand that he doesn't want you to work full-time. You will have two children to look after and the childcare costs could outweight the income you might receive from a full-time position. Not to mention that you will have two extra days to get up early and get everyone off to work/uni/daycare. Then there's the coming home thing....cooking dinner, day to day jobs. Is it worth the extra stress?

I used to take Mondays off. I loved Monday's everyone was at school/work and I could catch up on cleaning, baking, shopping and me time.

Men like to provide. Well, at least my DH does. And, FWIW I like (I mean really truly like) ironing his shirts, preparing a fabulous dinner, tidying the house and "looking after" him and the kids. He does the "blokey" jobs - garbage, cars, lawns, spider removal, gardening... he also cooks me breakfast every single morning and masages my tired feet at the end of the day.

It sounds like you are feeling a little overwhelmed with the money.

When money gets me down I sit down and work out what I need to pay out that payday. Quite often the outgoing is more than the incoming. I prioritise things: roof (rent), heating (electricity), food (groceries), transport (petrol/car). Things always work out - sometimes I think I should have been an accountant!

By all means make contact with your local centrelink office and request an interview. You might be surprised by what you are entitled to.

Your DH sounds a lot like mine. While I'm stewing and fretting over things he is calmly sorting it out in his head. I'm the emotional one and he's the logical one.

Take care hun and just don't make any rash decisions (such as selling up) before seeking further advice.

Thanks for the advice I would never bite your head off DH is studying to be an Engineer. He was a business analyst for a major pharmaceutical warehouse but quit because he hated it, going from this to driving a forklift on arvo/night shift means we take home 50% less than we used to.....yikes! The first few months were a real shock to the system.

I agree my husband does sound a lot like yours...he is very motivated and he really wants to suceed and be the best husband, provider and Daddy he can be.

I think I get worried because I feel he might get burt out, uni and work can be overwhelming. Ideally we would win the lotto and he could focus soley on his studies but the reality is, he needs to keep working, I just want to try and ease the burden but I can totally see his point, I also do a lot, having to do all the cooking, cleaning and the majority of caring for DS I don't know if mentally I could handle any more put on me, plus with a new baby, it might just push me over the edge. I guess the thought of selling the house seemed like a good idea, bring the weekly expenses down but eventually we would want to buy or build another and without a deposit or the ability to save one we would be stuck renting, which to be perfectly honest isn't that appealing to me

I just wanted to say to everyone, thanks so much for listening and providing positive advice. It sounds ridiculous but I feel I can't go to family because DH's family all stink with money and I mean stink! Big earners and not much to show for it. My family are different, money isn't really an issue but DH and I made a decision which they support in theory but are still trying to grasp the idea, no money = no money. They don't understand why we can't afford dinner out or a weekend away or spending $30 on a pair of shoes for DS they just struggle with the idea that we have to watch every penny so I feel like I can't talk to them about it so thanks everyone so much

[Cass72]

Engineer - well-done Blondie's DH! We are in a bit of an engineer shortage atm too. This is my DS1s chosen career path.

You both sound like what my father refers to as "good people". Hang in there - you'll both make it.

And night's out - pfft! Some of our most romantic nights started off with spag bol in front of the telly....

[Blondie]

Engineer - well-done Blondie's DH! We are in a bit of an engineer shortage atm too. This is my DS1s chosen career path.

You both sound like what my father refers to as "good people". Hang in there - you'll both make it.

And night's out - pfft! Some of our most romantic nights started off with spag bol in front of the telly....

I want to "like this"

[Cherished]

Hi Blondie, In short yes. We built our house 4 years ago and 12 months ago we put it on the market, We LOVE our house, it has everything we need, it's new, big and just awesome! But selling it was the best thing to do. The market turned to the crapper though and we couldn't sell it so after 4 months we took it off the market as ds was walking by then and getting it ready for inspections was a NIGHTMARE!