Being a VBAC labour coach?

[Cricket]

Hey ladies!

A friend of mine is expecting her second baby in about 7 weeks. Her first was a c-section after baby became distressed after a little more than an hour of pushing. (I know that's not an unusual amount of time to push, esp. for a first baby.) She had a doula for her first labour, but they can not afford one this time around.

She is really hoping for a VBAC, and has asked me to come and support her in labour.

I REALLY could use some tips! Was there anything that someone did for you that you found especially helpful? Or something that was NO help at all?

I know normal labour and birth fairly well - I've had 5 babies, without trouble, and done my best to educate myself about labour and birth. But I've never coached someone through labour, nor do I know the "challenge" of a VBAC labour in particular.

Also, I'm not exactly sure what my role in the delivery room would be. The nurses will be there, her husband will be there, her OB will be there.... Where's my spot? Know what I mean?

I'd appreciate any feedback you can give!

Thanks!

[Cricket]

Just bumping this up!

[Fleur]

Hey Cricket,

Have a chat to your friend & find out what she would like from you, and if there's anything in particular she needs from you.

I had a friend come in & support me with my VBAC (as well as DH). I talked to her about the kind of labour I was after, what I wanted (didn't want) WRT pain relief etc, what I thought I might want from her.
I thought she might be able to help out with heat packs etc, also I had hoped to birth on all fours or squatting, and I thought if DH was at one end, she could take the other. I also put her in charge of the camera

I ended up with a much less active labour than I had anticipated, but she was still a big help... when I felt a contraction coming I would call for a hand to squeeze & she & DH took turns sacrificing their hands for me . It gave me someone to have there when DH took a toilet break, or someone else to grab the midwife when needed (we were largely on our own during the labour). She took some great photos & video for us too.

So, have a talk to your friend & find out if there's anything specific she had in mind or if she wants you there as a general support. Does she want you to back her up if her OB tries to go in a direction she doesn't want?

And don't underestimate how good it is just to have another familiar person to encourage you & tell you you're doing great

HTH

[Cricket]

Thanks so much for the reply, Fleur. I really appreciate it. I definitely will sit down with her and see exactly how she felt about her first birth, and what she's hoping for with this one, and what I can do.

Love to hear any other stories as well!

[Arimeh]

I've considered having a friend in with me for this birth, just as another person to support me and to give suggestions you know? Last birth it was mainly DH that was my support, my midwife was in and out of the room a lot, and I didn't feel like I got a lot of support from her - not for me anyway - I think I needed people by my side all the time reassuring me of my body's ability to birth naturally, because I had a LOT of doubts that I could do it.

So if I was to have anyone I would want them to offer stuff, like, try the shower for pain relief, try the bath, walk around, sway your hips - that kind of thing. DH and I just sorta fumbled through it on our own, and I spent a lot of time on the toilet and I think I would have preferred to have tried swaying and stuff like that... you know? DH didn't think of suggesting it, and I'm not sure why - but neither did my midwife. Nothing was suggested at all.

Definitely talk to her first though and see how she feels about her first birth, what happened in it, and any fears she has with this one coming up