done it before...but...

[misty]

well, I have done the whole thing before - completely natural, not through choice but rather lack of time. my whole labour last time was just a little over 4 hours.

now the thing is the closer i get to the end of my pregnancy the more nervous/anxious i get about the whole labour thing again. now I know I can handle the first part ( you know the long borring waiting to dialate part); that pain doesn't phase me. what i am petrified of is the actual pushing stage - I have realised that unless i request drugs before then I will not ge any, but don't want to request any until i actually need some.

the worst thing is when i mention my fears about the birth to anyone, i just get brushed off with the whole 'you had such a quick easy labour last time, you don't have anything to worry about' (it may have seemed like that to them, but it was still a hell of alot of pain for me!). I wish people would just show acknowledgement that even if you have a quick 'easy' labour it is still hard work and can be extremely painful - it wasn't a walk in the park you know.

anyway, I'm not sure what i'm asking for here...maybe just a little reaasurance that it will be alright, and mayby some tips for handling the pain in the pushing stage?

[Alan]

Hi Misty
Short labours do have a disadvantage. Just because its quicker than the norm it does not mean that the pain is any less. In fact the pain can in some instances be more intense. If you have a long slow labour your body has more of a chance of releasing your own natural pain relieving hormones (endorphins). I am not going to say that you don’t have anything to worry about but it is true that you have done this before, and often the second and subsequent births are a little less painful than the first. I am sure that, when the time comes, you will choose the best option for you and your baby.

[~Raven~]

OK I felt exactly the same. I was terrified! Even the third time

I can't for one second understand how one would equate quicker with easier. It is less tiring but no way is it easier. It took me an hour and a half to push out Mason once I was fully dilated. Trevor thinks Angus was about 20 mins and Caleb was 10 mins of pushing, we don't really know for sure as the time wasn't checked.

When I was labouring with Caleb I knew what was coming and even when my water broke and it was action stations as I felt him moving down I was scared but at the same time I knew I had to do it and instinct kind of took over for me.
The only pain relief I had was gas (which was turned off when Caleb was crowning anyway) so I felt everything. I tried to slow myself down a bit at the crowning stage and argued a bit when I was told to push. I tried to pant through contractions a bit so that my perineum could stretch but then I thought bugger it, screamed, and pushed him out.

Try not to fret too much You'll do great!

ETA Alan posted while I was typing, but I wanted to agree with him here:

In fact the pain can in some instances be more intense. If you have a long slow labour your body has more of a chance of releasing your own natural pain relieving hormones (endorphins)

In my experience I believe this to be so true!

[blue daisy]

Hey misty

as Alan said...short labors can be difficult as they are so intense...

I was also anxious in the lead up to my second birth...but I really focused on getting it all out before I went into labor...lots of crying, and my wonderful DH gave me lots of cuddles

dont hold on to any fears you have...as this can affect your endorphin levels...let them go, embrace them

re the pain...it is such a personal experience, but be reassured that every birth does differ, and this time you may feel like you have a little more control...for the second stage sometimes it helps to 'breathe your baby out' to practise this...sit on the loo (best place to practise) and focus on releasing your pelvic floor muscles (we are all told how to hold them but not release them). Gently bring your lips together and blow an imaginary feather, and as you do so relax the pelvic floor...it takes a little practise

a great place to help alleviate that burning sensation of the head is to be in the bath...water naturally cushions the perineum and guides the baby's head.

hope this helps

xx yogababy

[DoulaRelle]

Misty - I can understand your thinking. I also don't think it is any less painful, and would actually have to agree with Sammi and say it is more painful and intense and I also think quite scary cause your body does "take over"

I think the beauty of the second child honestly, is the knowledge you gained with the first. You know it will end, you know it will be hard tough work, but you also know the prize you will get at the end.

I wish I had some great advice for you hun, but I was only in labour for 90 mins with Angus and pushing for only about 5 mins. Three pushes I think and it frightened the hell out of me as in 3 labours I had never felt that burning ring of fire before or that overwhelming need to push that you can't stop no matter how hard you try.

I also agree with Yogababy too, I think it is great you are addressing your fears now so you can embrace them and work with them when the time comes.

Goodluck!

[MantaRay]

Oh Misty - I can totally relate too. I too had quick labours and I also agree that they can be more painful - as my ob says you are still doing the same amount of dilating, just in a shorter time. It has to be more intense. People say you can tell it's real labour because the contractions get closer together and more intense. Well not in my case - they started close together and intense! I would have given anything for a 10 minute, even a 5 minute break between them!! I remember even saying to the mw - "can I just have a 10 minute break now?".

Having said that, I was more prepared the second time, and my body did seem to know what to do better. I managed with just gas, but I think the main benefit of the gas was helping me to concentrate on my breathing, so probably I could have managed without it. I think the best you can do is start thinking about positions and practise breathing. This was the biggest help to me. I had painful BHs with my 2nd pg so I used them to trial positions and practise breathing. It was a huge help. If you liked the posi you used the first time, try to remember exactly how it was. Otherwise, experiment with some different ones.

You can do this. What you are going through is very normal nerves. You will be fine. Take care and best wishes to you.

[Liz]

Take courage that the pushing stage is usually a lot quicker with subsequent births!

I'm the opposite to you actually - I found the pushing stage great.. it was the dilating that hurt like hell! LOL. I was augmented with the drip, so my first stage of labour was pretty fast & intense, but we got through too with no pain relief. My fear this time is not being augmented and that first stage going on forever!

I agree that you are having very normal fears. I think with the 2nd we know what we're in for, so the fear is a bit more real this time.. whereas with #1 it was more fear of the unknown.

All the best - I'm sure you'll do just fine

[shazza]

hi misty
im the same as liz i rather the pushing stage rathing than the dilating period i found the pushing stage to be less intense as your mind is on pushing so it takes some of the pain away.with all my girls i got scared just before labour especially my lastest as there was a 7 yr gap so it was like going into labour for the first time again .what i used to do was think to myself if i done this before i can do it again and i will be fine and just think its so worth it .its just nerves you will be fine try not to worry about it i know its hard

[C~Q]

I agree about shorter labours being painful, my labour with DS was 2.5 hours and it hurt like hell! DD was a Caesar and DD2 a VBAC but I chickened out and had an epi!

I think its natural to worry, I know I did but you know how worthwhile it all is in the end and I bet afterwards you'll wonder why you were worried in the first place!

[Patooties]

Misty - as with the other ladies, i too was a lot more scared this time around - as i remembered that yes, it really does hurt!!!! I'm like Jesabel and liz in that i prefer the pushing as well (although i can remember that burning sensation with my first 2) I guess if you try to think that you will be meeting your bub very soon, it might make it a little easier to bare it. Good luck with everything

[misty]

I would just like to thank everyone who responded to my post - you have all helped to calm me immensely. I am actually begining to think that I might get through it all naturally again (but by choice this time) - although who knows what may happen. I think it helped just knowing that i'm not the only one who is more scare the second time round then i was the first time.

[blue daisy]

Hey Misty

you will do a great job...2nd time around can be more enjoyable as the ride is less overwhelming...good luck...and look forward to hearing about it all

xx yogababy

[Roryrory]

Misty it was a twinge of fear when I remembered the pain of my first labour that convinced me to try hypnobirthing. I haven't been to the classes yet but maybe give it a go?

Sorry for short post but am v. busy ATM.....

[Tracey]

Misty, I think once you get to the pushing stage you are then mentally prepared as it has built up to the part where you are close to meeting your baby.
I found for 2nd & third time when I had a suck on gas with DD#2, but threw it away that I was the relieved to be able to finally push, then with my last labour, I was really pumped by the time I was ready to push, I found that bit extra to get pushing & meeting my son...!
I had no pain relief etc & it was exhilerating!

Best wishes, but I believe you'll do wonderfully!