Is the first birth inherently traumatic?

[MummyNaomi]

For me, I'd say no. I had two fantastic birth experiences, however they were both rather quick so there was never any time for any 'trauma' to really occur.
I was probably more worried the second time, knowing how the pain felt the first time, but constantly reassured myself that if I could get through it once, I could again

Birthing is like becoming a parent though (funnily enough ) but in the fact that until you've experienced it, I don't think you can truly ever understand what it's like/how it feels/etc until you've been there and done it, no matter how much you read/research/prepare. I think this is perhaps where some of the 'trauma' comes in because despite best intentions, it's never likely to be how you might have imagined it to be ITMS

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I wonder if the trauma for the first birth is also related to everything changing afterward? I mean, your body goes through this huge shock, and has done for the past 9 months or so, and you never really recover from that. I'm sure you feel like you'd like to sleep for a week but really, you don't even get a full NIGHTS sleep for a few years. So, while I have no doubt that birth is traumatic, especially the first time, I think it's the whole package.

[trishalishous]

no not at all!
Mine was, but I have many friends who have had great first births

[Jellyfish]

I don't think so, at least it wasn't for me personally although I can kind of see why it might be as it is such an unknown and obviously quite a huge (and emotional) event but I never felt any trauma with either of my births. All I felt after was pride and elation, no unresolved feelings or anything overwhelmingly negative... I've never felt the need to debrief about them although I do enjoy talking about them in the same way I would any other big experience in my life. Both were very similar labours; spontaneous, gas the first time and nothing the second, no tears or stitches, waters breaking around transition, both in a Private hospital with the same Ob.

[Arcadia]

I wonder if the trauma for the first birth is also related to everything changing afterward? I mean, your body goes through this huge shock, and has done for the past 9 months or so, and you never really recover from that. I'm sure you feel like you'd like to sleep for a week but really, you don't even get a full NIGHTS sleep for a few years. So, while I have no doubt that birth is traumatic, especially the first time, I think it's the whole package.

Yes I think this is it exactly. For me I can't separate the birth from the weeks aftwards. The birth itself was perfect, but perhaps because it was the catalyst for change it left me so raw.

[chody47]

My birth with DD was very quick. When she was laying on my chest I must admit, I felt a bit shocked, but I think it was mainly due to the speed. That being said, I have no bad feelings towards the birth, happy with how it went. I think I was just more shocked at what my body went through/what it could do. I really had no time to process anything for the last hour or so of my birth.

[nothing2lose]

My DD's birth should have been traumatic but I dont think it's had any lasting emotional effects.
I didnt have a great pregnancy - lots of bleeding, hospitalisation a couple of times due to early labour, placenta praevia, cholestasis of pregnancy, polyhydramnios... Then I was induced at 36 weeks because of high BP and liver issues which ended in her heart stopping seven hours into labour resulting in an emergency caesarean where I lost over a litre of blood.
She had jaundice. She was allowed home five days post birth but was then readmitted to the SCN for a couple of days two days later...

Not sure, maybe I was too naive to let it get the best of me. I was just so grateful to have this beautiful bundle of pure love that everything else just kind of faded away

So, the short answer is, in my opinion, I dont think the first birth is inherently traumatic. Everyone has different levels of coping and resilience, just as every birth is different. Some, like me, just get lucky.

[Ilithyia]

Interesting thread.

I think that no matter how much preparation, education, advice, feedback etc etc you do prior to you first experience of labour, nothing can prepare you for the experience itself. And I'm pretty certain that in that process there is a part of you that is forever changed - mentally, physically, psychologically... right down to our cells.

I can remember before I went into labour with DD1 wanting that natural, drug-free birth. Then I remember the moment where I am in labour and I am completely overwhelmed by the intensity of the contractions and I ask for an epidural.

Its like any experience I guess, it has to be learned experience. And as the others have said, I do believe debrief is an important part of the postnatal period regardless of the type of birth you have.

I think its important to remember that its never too late to debrief. The others have listed some great idea's for debriefing. I also suggest getting your hands on a copy of Pam Englands "Birthing From Within". The book itself is very much about dealing with emotion prior to and after birth.

[Sagres]

I have wondered this myself. From my point of view I wouldn't describe my first birth as traumatic, but it certainly was a huge experience that left me rattled! I think that is the key thing there for me, traumatic says it is specifically negative, but being a bit rattled isn't necessarily negative, it just means it was momentous, a significant event unlike anything you have ever experienced before - and brings with it challenges you have never faced before. I think that if you have similar scenarios and outcomes for subsequent births, you will feel less 'rattled' after them because it is no longer something you haven't experienced before and the challenges are no longer something you haven't faced before. So I wouldn't say it is inherently traumatic, but I think it is inherently more challenging, and you are inherently less able to meet that challenge head on first time you do it. So I think maybe that makes the odds of it being traumatic a bit higher for your first time??
But ultimately it is a challenge and different people will handle different challenges differently at different times in their lives and with different experiences under their belts. So what one person finds as traumatic for their first time is what another feels is a geat birth.

My mum says something about first children - you can only have one first child. Even though you of course love all your children, you can only go through parenting the first time once, you can't unlearn all you learnt from the first one in preparation of the second! I think birth is the same, you go in having never experienced it and although you may know how it goes in theory you don't know how it will go for you and how you work within that experience. Once you've done it once you can't go back and unexperience it so any subsequent experiences are going to become easier (assuming the births play out in a similar fashion), if only for the fact that is now something you have done before and you have some experience in. You learn from your first time and you do things you know work the second time, but you can never go back and do it through those same fresh eyes again!

[~ Mylitta ~]

For me, birth has never been traumatic. Painful yes, but enjoyable, exhilarating and empowering are some other words I use!

This is exactly what I wanted to write. Whilst labour and birth are certainly hard, painful work, I really loved them. I'm actually sad that I'll never get to experience another birth.

Birthing is like becoming a parent though (funnily enough ) but in the fact that until you've experienced it, I don't think you can truly ever understand what it's like/how it feels/etc until you've been there and done it, no matter how much you read/research/prepare. I think this is perhaps where some of the 'trauma' comes in because despite best intentions, it's never likely to be how you might have imagined it to be ITMS

I definitely agree with this. I knew that labour would b painful and told myself over and over that no matter how painful I thought it was going to be, it was going to be even more painful than that. I didn't do that to try to scare myself, I just thought of it as my way of preparing for what was to come. And in all honesty, once I was in transition with my son I was still surprised with the sheer excruciating intensity of the pain.

I definitely don't feel like my first birth was traumatic for me in any way, and I had a rather great first labour and delivery. It made me excited to do it again with DD. I learnt from the first experience and I believe it helped with the second which was an even better experience. Then my third birth was pretty close to perfect. I look back on all three births with very fond memories

[Novella]

I dont consider my first birth traumatic, it didn't leave me scared leading up to future births.

I think I understand your feeling of 'otherness' I felt disconnected for a while, so much happenedin such a shoert period of time. I was a different person to who I was before my DDs birth. Neither more or less but changed, I think part of the change was due to experiencing the physical and emotional layers of birth as well as the reality of becoming a parent. Lack of sleep after birth and the experience of being a new parent meant it was sometime before I was able to properly reflect on my DD's birth in any meaningful way.I had trouble clearly remembering parts of my labour, although since I have read that hormonal changes post birth can responsible for this, although I didnt experience this to anywhere near the same extent with subsequent births

I enjoyed all three of my births and went into each one much more excited than apprehensive. Im a touch sad I will never feel that excitement and anticipation again.

My first birth did not traumatize me but it forever changed me.

[~clover~]

There was nothing traumatising about my first birth, or any subsequent one either. The pain was a huge shock to the system, but I survived it.

I think thats the biggest problem. Is that first time around, you know its going to be painful, but nothing can actually prepare you for the reality. As contractions go on, it can get very scary. I remember asking if it was supposed to hurt this much when in labour with DD1. And it got much worse after that!

When I have someone close to me about to have a baby, I am real with them. I had an old lady (who's never had a child) tell a friend of mine (in front of me) that it doesn't hurt at all. She said that as long as my friend did exactly what the midwives said, it wouldn't hurt. I waited til she was gone & told my friend the truth. That it WILL hurt, you might get to a point - like I did - & think you're going to die, BUT its normal & it is all ok. You just have to remember that you can do it & it will end. After she had her DD, she thanked me for it. Because she did want to believe that this lady may just be right.

For me that was the only thing that had any after affect on me at all. The intensity of the pain. But I was prepared second time around