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my last bub came 5 wks early I kept saying i'll come back in 5 wks
my 2nd bub the midwife said no1 wanted to see my combined pass except I thought she said she had lived in this town I had lived in b4 so I said you used to there? me too and started going on & on about it
my DH said to friends & family the next day when they said he looked tired, "what do you expect I was up all night alright for (her) she got to lay down the whole time "
gee thanks a lot lol
Mine wasn't real funny but..I had to have an epidural (which didn't work properly-bugger) as bubs was in distress. It was 12.30am and they had to wake the anesthesist up, he finally arrived and after having a big shot of gas the anesthesist asked if i had any questions before going ahead with the epidural, i said "Yeah - you have had enough sleep haven't you? cause if your sticking that thing anywhere near my spine it would be good if your on the ball" Needless to say that went down like a lead balloon, i don't think he was very happy, and he had to keep topping up the epidural cause i could still feel my whole right side - i couldn't get him out of there sooner...
I cried to the midwife saying, "Did I break the record for the quickest person to ask for an epidural?" and "I'm just not good at this." And then during the pushing stage, I asked my DF "Do I look pretty?" But that was as close to funny as I got because boy, I was in some pain and very unhappy about it! Oh and I ended up with a c-section and when DF turned to me to say isn't he beautiful or whatever, all I could say was "You've got blood on your face!" They must have splashed him as they pulled Luca out!
Thanks for sharing though girls. So gorgeous! Makes me wanna do it all again. :)
Ha ha. This is funny!
Mine were:
Oh my god father!!!
and
Holy fu**ing dooly!!!!
Oh these are good!
I had the gas and told my husband that we needed to put oil on the grill. Dont know where that came from. Also said to him, the cats are in the freezer. (this makes a little more sense, as our cats are able to open the cupboard doors and get in to eat their biscuits, and we have an upside down fridge/ freezer)
I also kept apologising to the midwife.
I was an apologiser too, I did a poop on the bed (not ashamed, it happens!!) and kept saying sorry to the midwife over and over.
I also did the classic transition stuff of "Just cut him out" and "Can you just pull him out, I can't push"
I was a moo-er, I said I'd be super quiet hahaha yes, right. DH said I sounded like a cow being slaughtered LOL thanks love!
I'll have to consult mum about this though, I remember at one point everyone laughing but I cannot remember why. Watch this space :D
LOL what a crack up.
After I had pushed Yasin out I asked if was all over then when they putting the stitches in I started complaining because they had told me it was over.
They gave me the gas then (probably to shut me up lol) and when they finished putting the stitches in I refused to give it back rofl - they made DH take it away from me and I was trying to fight him for it.
ETA - This thread reminded me of one of the funniest threads I have read on BB so I went hunting through the archives
Funny story about my sister's friend...
I remember sitting on the ball in the shower an hour before DD was born, begging for a panadol !???
Needless to say they didnt give me one..
Thanks for digging that up dachlostar, it's hilarious.
I have to empathise with her though that felt similar to me, I just didn't express it that way.
I had an epidural so was quite calm and placid for the most part. When it came time to push, I told everyone in the room (there was 7 of them) that the Anethatist (sp) was a saint, and when the Ob. told me she was going to tell him I said that I replied, good because its the truth.
I also laid back and closed my eyes between contractions and the Ob was saying "I dont think she can do this" and I just sat up and smiled at them all and I said "its ok, I was just resting my eyes!"
I was in transition and DH said to me "we're going to meet our baby soon, aren't you excited?!" to which I replied "No!!! Stop being excited!!!"
When we arrived for my induction I told DH he had better buy me the biggest bunch of flowers eva for this but during transition I grabbed his t-shirt and told him I'd buy him all the flowers in the world if he made the pain stop.
Then as Olivia was crowning I was screaming at my OB to cut me and if he didn't I would do it myself because I can do that you know because I'm a midwife you know.
Also I was very apologetic to my midwife, OB and everyone in the room except for DH. I had to keep asking DH what we had. I ended up asking about 5 times before I remembered.
I'm loving these stories. Keep them coming.
During my labour I pulled DH aside and said "if I ever say to you later that labour wasn't that bad just remind me of this moment right now because it really is that bad!"
When Charlie finally came after 22 hours and feeling like there was no end in site, he was put on my chest and all I could say was "Oh my God!"
Rachael
Dan, PMSL @ you doing your own episitomy. Not something you really want to try out hun ;)
I had a rant (loudly) about having a private room after birth...it was my privlege being a staff member :) and i remember them all just say 'ok Nat'
and I told my m/w slash support person that I didnt want to do this anymore in transition...and she replied...'ok Nat lets all go home and have a nice cup of tea' ...I thought dark thoughts ;)
You know how the nurse keeps saying *you are doing well* I turned to her and snapped *I bet you say that to everyone!*
I didn't have much funny stuff to say during labour. I was an avid apologiser though - and did tell the mid to tell m Ob to "just get this thing bloody out of me!". I also remember telling the anethetist "Ouch! That's my ****ing back!" (he hit ligament). Apparently I made lots of comments that had them thinking I was in transition - even though I wasn't anywhere near it! Hmmmm.....