I made a lot of noise in my first labour and as I'm having a homebirth this time with my 2.5 year old son possibly present I would prefer to have a quieter, calmer labour if possible.
I think some of the noise I made during contractions was really a cry for sympathy. I think without realising what I was doing, I made noise to let my H to know how painful each one was so he could understand. I'll talk to him about that and ask him to follow my (hopefully) quieter contraction rythmns and support and sympathise with me the same way so I don't feel the need to be as vocal.
I also talked a little between contractions. Asking for water, what the time was... this was pretty occasional as I was pretty zoned out but perhaps the fact that I was still being mentally present made me more vocal and if I zoned out more I could be quieter?
I was instructed to push very hard due to a long second stage, which was against birth centre 'rules' so perhaps my screaming like a banshee through the pushing and crowning was more due to the unnatural intensity? This time around, my midwife and I have already decided I wont be pushing and I can have a looonnnggg second stage if that what it takes for the baby to come out at their own pace- so maybe that will help me quieter?
If it comes down to it and I need to made noise, I will. If my son can't handle it he can leave with his support people but if possible I'd prefer to see if I can have a calmer, quieter labour.
I'm not sure about hypnobirthing/calmbirthing classes. I have no fear of labour and I'm concerned they'll go on about that and I'll feel frustrated that I'm not getting what I want out of it IYKWIM. Maybe an audio thing I can do myself would be good?
My advice - don't try. You need to birth the way you need to birth. DW has had three home waterbirths, and she's yelled and screamed through each one. At the last one, we had a 2 year old and a 4 year old. We practiced with them beforehand, showed them a video of the last birth, and play-acted some of the sounds and things DW would do during labour, and they weren't phased one bit.
DW needs to be vocal, she needs to make noise during her birth. There's nothing wrong with that, although sometimes she does feel a bit embarrassed. I try and reassure her that making noise is an important part of gathering the strength she needs to push that baby out. Perhaps you do as well?
I agree with Schmickers. Doing a bit or role play and explaining what may happen to your son is a great idea. I found that I became more vocal with each labour lol. One thing that helped me was to make my noises lower during a contraction. When I started going high pitch my midwife gently reminded me to lower my voice and this some how helped me focus. Good luck
During the pushing stage, I was making quite a bit of noise until my midwife explained to me that all my pushing energy was escaping through my voice and not through the birth canal. I really tried to put my chin down and focus all my energy in pushing the baby out instead of through my screams and I was much more productive.
During labour, I tried to talk to myself instead of yelling in pain. I would often repeat to myself. One step close, one step closer, or its okay, its okay, its okay (getting louder as the contraction grew but it was positive self talk).
I like the role play ideas as well.
Good luck and remember whatever happens, happens. You birth how you feel comfortable at the time
For me, I find it helpful to make noise and I have quite short labours, so it's not like making noise will take away from my pushing ability or slow things down much. Last time I had a midwife tell me I would hurt my throat from the grunting/groaning. As if I would really care about the pain in my throat as opposed to the other end!
Now I don't know what to do this time, as that midwife has made me feel quite self conscious...
Think of all the noise the elite sports players make especially some of the tennis players! If it helps you to focus your strength to where it's needed who cares if you scream the house down.
I have read that breathing techniques help i think it was called lamars birthing technique thats if u are really worried about it, but def if u feel like making noise DO IT!!!!
Thanks everyone. I wasn't at all self conscious of my noise last time and I am a little concerned that I'm going to make myself self conscious this time so it's really reassuring to be told to make noise! I have a feeling that some women make noise and some don't- it's not about how you are coping, or how "good" you are I guess it's just personal style.
I guess I'll see how I go. Last time I was reminded a couple of times to try and make deeper sounds and it kind of p!ssed me off to be honest! I wanted to just do what I wanted and not have anyone tell me otherwise.
I am a little concerned about my sooky little mama's boy who doesn't like loud noises! And the fact that we don't have close family here so if he has to go to someone else's house it's going to be a bit hard for him. I guess it's just a few hours in our lives and we'll deal with it. Thanks for the role playing idea- I can picture it now!
I have had siblings present at my births & like some PP I coached my kids beforehand. I "made the noise that makes the baby come out" whilst doing the dishes, having a shower, folding the washing etc etc... I squatted, I got on all fours, I swayed my hips and I made the noise. Smetimetimes it was really loud and sometimes it was gutteral. But I just made noise. So they got used to the fact that labour is ouchy sometimes and we make noise...
I think it's important to be real. Some women are quite noisy some are quiet. Most women are both at different stages of their labors.
It's about preparation of the kids and you. When a woman is using a lot of throat noise in labour it usually tells me that there is fear or a feeling of not being able to cope with what's happening. Lowering the place the noise comes from is important. Think of the cows in the paddock they grunt it comes from right down low... That's how we know that the body is opening - when the noise is comign from lower down. So yes, it's important to remember this...
I just coax you to "make the noise that makes the baby come out" as much as possible in all the usual places that women labour - in the laundry, in the bathroom, bedroom in the car.... It then becomes "normal"... And you know what? There is nothing more normal than having a baby with siblings gathered around, at home mooing like a cow... I love it!
Few things I did in my labour, and apparently I was quite quiet - was moan, I found it relaxing, some how. I also used a comb and pushed it really hard into that fleshy part where your fingers meet your palm. It's a pressure point for pain apparently. Worked a treat I reckon
How can I be quieter in labour?
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