I've hired an awesome doula in hope she will help me achieve my VBA2C .
I've just received an email from her which has lots (I mean lots as in 10 pages, single line spacing) of options from sights, smells, photos, sounds, pain relief, before, during and post birth - everything and OMG - there are soooo many options .
Yup, this is baby number 3 for me - yet I've never been in labour nor formed a birth plan before - so this is a first for me.
My question - how did you know what to put in your birth plan first time around? How will I know what I want to smell, listen to, how I would like the lights etc in a situation I've never been in before. I have no doubt my doula will help me, and she has said so, but I'm just really curious how you all did it??
My first birth plan was very focused on music, dim lights, heat packs, water and calm. I had a wide selection of music, songs that made me feel good and relaxed me. (You know the ones that really touch you and transform you), I had my heat packs which had helped me in early labour and as for smells I took oils that I had been burning throughout my pregnancy (so they were a familiar scent when in hospital). I just went with what made me feel good.
Mine is focused on a calm and quiet birthing environment, similar to Enchanted. Soft lighting and music, aromatherapy oils, heat and massage for pain relief etc. That I have the freedom to choose my labour and birthing positions, I don't want to be on my back.
I have also made it clear that I want no interventions, epesiotomy, drugs etc without consent.
I have put in I want Immediate skin/skin contact after birth, that hubby is to cut the cord (after it's fin pulsating) and that I want time to get to know and breastfeed my baby before measurements etc to be taken.
I have put in that baby is not to receive any injections without consent.
My main focus has been on what I think will be best for me, for baby and that nothing is to be done to us without consent and without time to discuss it first. I don't want them cutting me because they think it's best, I would prefer to tear naturally etc etc.
Just think about the things that are important to you, mine is only a page of dot points.
See, music is a massive part of me - and the music that gives me the best vibes is my 'bouncy' doof doof group fitness music. It gives me energy and reminds me of all the times I've worked really hard and made it thru a hard class when at times I thought I would just not make it (which I guess links in quite well with labour)....
The songs that touch me make me emotional - and I don't want to be in tears with touchy feely music - I'd feel weakened which may not be all that helpful...IYKWIM?
I'm guessing this is a hospital birth? The reason I ask is that I think a Birth Plan (or "Preferences") depends on the birthing environment. A homebirth Plan would look different to a VBAC in a hospital Plan.
Tips I was given for my Birth Preferences:
Don't tell the MWs or Ob how to suck eggs. This is where the birthing environment is important. Telling a Birth Centre that you don't want an epidural is like telling the MWs to suck eggs - they already know that if you're in a BC, and by writing it in your BP you're just wasting space, and time. I wrote in my BP that I didn't want any visitors during labour - the BC thought I was telling them how to suck eggs because they wouldn't have allowed any visitors in anyway (but they'd never met my mother...)
Keep your BP to one or two pages. No more. My Doula emailed me a 10-page document as a draft BP, but it was to give me an idea of what I might like to include - everything else was deleted. You think the MWs/Ob have time to read more than 2 pages? They don't, especially if you're in established labour while they're reading it.
I also don't see why music/aromatherapy/lighting should be in your BP. The MWs don't care what the place smells like when you're birthing. Your Doula, and your DH might care though - I would have thought these are things you can talk about with them beforehand. And maybe you could have a "Labour Plan" for the Doula, and the BP for the hospital? Keep all the medical/birth choice stuff for the BP, and all the atmosphere stuff for the Doula/your DH. If your MWs are too busy reading about what essential oils you want burning in the room, they might miss the bits about episiotomies, pain-relief, etc, that you want/don't want.
ALSO, remember that at the hospital it's often expected that you consent until you tell them otherwise. For example, it's almost "expected" that you'll be given a VE upon arrival at the hospital - so if you don't want it, state it in your BP. Make them justify to you why it should be. A big one for me was that I didn't want to be offered pain relief - I knew what was available, I didn't need it offered every 5 minutes (which would have made me feel like I was failing).
You can see my BP in the "Share your Birth Intentions" thread, which for some reason I can't link back to.
I forgot to mention that my 2nd birth plan was based on Calmbirth. So I was still able to have all of what I had the first time but just some gentler methods, like the lighting, use of words ie. a contraction was referred to as a wave and pain was referred to as pressure. Would you look into something like that? It kept me very focused and relaxed.
I think the first step is figuring out what's normal for your caregiver and birth place. (because they do tend to just do things unless you tell them otherwise)
So, like Persephone has suggested, maybe they do VEs automatically. Are you comfortable with that?
Then you can figure out which bits you're ok with (and under what circumstances) and which you're not, and what may or may not be negotiable.
I remember having great trouble actually sitting down and writing my birth plan, it was difficult to decide what was important to us and put it into words.
So my birth plan ended up being very brief!
I was adamant I didn't want drugs so stated that I was not to be offered any, if I wanted gas I would ask for it.
I stated that I wanted DH to cut the cord and weigh the baby after the first breastfeed. Also for placenta to be birthed naturally.
I asked for someone to take photos of the three of us together.
I stated I was hoping for an active birth and wished to be left to labour as naturally as I could.
I requested any interventions be discussed with myself and DH (was more concerned with being cut than anything else and would've preferred to tear naturally if I had the option)
In hindsight - was not offered drugs and got through without any.
DH did get to cut the cord and weigh DS and although the midwives let me try I had to have a managed 3rd stage. After everything I'd been through I really didn't care!
No one took pictures of us but I guess they were busy.
I should've had more detail about labour as I was basically left the whole time. Even though the midwife was always in the room she was very hands off and didn't offer any suggestions for the entire 12 hours I was in there. Next time I'll write more!
I almost had suction which was explained at length to us at the time.
Although I didn't mention music or lights, there was soft music playing and the lights were lovely and dim in the room when we arrived.
Good luck! I think in the end birth plans can really depend on who is reading them and in the heat of the moment they can get forgotten about. But if you're having a doula I'm sure she'll be very familiar with yours when the big day arrives!
I would think about what you like when you're not in labour - what helps you relax? If you like a certain type of music that gets you in the groove, go with that.
I wasn't sure about the smells thing either. Apparently that can change while you're in labour anyway, so it might be best just to go with what the doula brings on the day and say a yes or no to it at the time.
You sound like you have a good base plan to start with. I would look at each statement and decide - yes, I definitely want this and it's high on my priority list. No, I really don't want this at all. Or, this sounds good - I may need to look into it and discuss these things with your doula.
How did you forumlate your birth plan?
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