i'm going to tear....

[tellytubby]

Okay... slight freak out session.

DH and i just DTD for the first time in about... hmm 4 weeks? We haven't done it much at all really, because whenever we do i get really swollen down there and it gets quite painful. But anyway... We just DTD and .. i am sooooo tight... it is ridiculous!!! I had to stop half way because it was hurting so much.. i felt like a virgin all over again!

What do i do??? Is it too late for me??? How do i loosen up before birth day?!?!

omg.. soooo freaking out right now!! I don't want to tear, and i defiantely don't want an episiotomy (sp?) !!

HELP!!!!!

[~clover~]

Only suggestion I have is kegels? They are supposed to make the pelvic floor stronger to reduce the risk of tearing aren't they?

Are you guys using lubrication? Maybe your hormones have changed again & you are just very dry. Maybe its that simple?

[helle]

I have been find it a bit dry down there during DTD (despite all that pregnancy discharge, who would have thought...) and have been using some Sylk as it was getting a little painful and it's worked wonders. Give that ago before you start stressing

[Mildez]

Did you have any trauma from our first child? There are ways to try avoid tearing. I am about to run out the door to work so Ill only mention a few. I know water is great during labour at softening the vagina and peri to make it more supple and your less likely to tear. Also if you have a good birth attendent who can encourage you to pant, cough etc the baby out when your crowning rather then push it out quickly it gives the skin time to stretch which does help prevent tearing. This can all be done at the birth itself so your definately not out of time. You can also start with some perineum massage now which might help.

[tellytubby]

Teagz and BJrose - yep we were using lube *sigh*

i can't believe its taken me this long to realise! Grrr!! Should have just been a horny devil and not worried about the swelling afterwards haha

Emmy - i had a very small tear with DD, i think i had like 2 stitches.. nothing major at all. But i can't remember ever being this tight during my pregnancy with her. The hospital we're at allows you to labour in the bath, but not birth - so would that still help do you think??

I've told DH we'll be doing the perineum massage like clockwork from now on. I'll just have to read up about it and remember how they're done.

farr out... why would i only realise this now?!

[tannedangel]

You will be fine hun.
Your body is fully prepared to do this and the fact that you felt so tight when DTD isn't a indicator that you will tear at all.
The hormones when you are in labour will make your muscles relax and loosen up and prepare your body fully for this all over again. Dont stress too much because stress will make your muscles tense up and can then cause you to tear.

In the mean time, if you want to DTD with your DH take it slowly, maybe get him to give you a massage before to help you get in the mood and relax a little. Perenium massages sound like a good idea too.

[tellytubby]

thankyou tannedangel
I really needed to hear you say that. And we didn't take it slow, we were kind of trying to rush things because i didn't know how much longer DD would nap (turns out for another hour )

[thepixie]

Have you read 'Birth Skills' by Juju Sundin? It's an awesome book and should help you with ways to prepare your mind and body so you DON'T tear. Get hold of it - hopefully it will make you feel more confident!

[Arimeh]

I'm sure all will be well, just relax. Is there a possibility it was in the back of your head that you might be a little bit tight before your DH entered? I'm just asking because if I think something *might* hurt, I automatically tense up and yup - it hurts!!

Try to think positive thoughts - I won't tear, I won't tear, I can expand to fit this baby out without help - dunno if it will help, but certainly won't hinder.

Oh and I'd say try the peri massage too - we're doing it on and off here - haven't done it for about a week now cos it bloody hurt last time - and I told DH he hurt me, and he went and did exactly the same thing AGAIN two seconds later - men!!!

We could be peri massage buddies if you like... LOL... message each other with how painful it was and how silly our husbands are.. bwahahaha

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

Have you read 'Birth Skills' by Juju Sundin? It's an awesome book and should help you with ways to prepare your mind and body so you DON'T tear. Get hold of it - hopefully it will make you feel more confident!

I agree 100% Pix - This book (and my doula), were my bibles leading up to my labour and what a FANTASTIC labour i had