I'm just wondering if not tearing means that your birthing technique was better than normal? I don't mean this thread to be antagonistic or anything. I just want to understand the different ideas and attitudes towards tearing.
I needed an episiotomy with DD1 as her HR had dropped and then with DD2 I tore. When it happened, I didn't really think about it and didn't really care that it had happened. As far as I was concerned there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I was so focussed on pushing her out that I didn't even think about trying to prevent tearing. Some of the posts I've read on BB talk about labour and not tearing in the tone that it's something to be proud of, as of not tearing is a big achievement. I never thought of not tearing in that light as something that was an achievement. It's not that I don't think it's an achievement. I guess it's because I never really gave much thought to the issue. I was prepared that if it happened, it happened. I did do some preparation but maybe it was because of the episiotomy that I tore. I don't know. I'd just really like to hear how people feel about tearing or not tearing and what their head space is in regards to it. I just never thought of it as something that was worth mentioning (in my situation only). Please don't take this thread personally or in a negative way. It's a hard one to get across over a thread but I'm really interested in other people's thoughts......