I'm not surprised you're so worried after what happened last time!
I think talking with them directly about this might be a good start. Perhaps your husband or someone else could come along with you for moral support so you can let them know how unhappy you were about what happened and how fearful and anxious this has left you.
You have the legal right to control your own body, so no, you don't *have* to do anything. It is hard, though, when you're in a vulnerable position and the people around you do not respect your ability to make informed decisions for yourself. I guess hiring your own midwife is out of the question, then? What about a student midwife or even a doula? They can't be your care person, but they can be there for you and your husband and offer support, which may help you.
I hope things go well for you this time.