A TMI question ( sorry )

[*Elle*]

okay here goes,
I have pondered as to weather or not I should ask this question and its not because its a bad question its just because I feel so embarresed by it,

well when I had DS no one told me that you can push out #2's as well as a baby I honestly had no idea and felt quite yuk about the whole thing but the midwife I had was wonderful he kept me clean and there was no issue at all no smell etc ( I warned you TMI hehe sorry )

With my DD the midwife was a cow she was really horrible and I literally wanted her gone but felt I couldnt say anything ( I know differently now ) when I was pushing DD out she did not keep me clean infact even after I had DD the #2's were just left there for several minutes as were my legs in the air not a nice experiance at all, I was not covered or anything.

*warning even more TMI coming up*

The smell was not so pleasant and I just felt really expesed and embarresed and even now I just feel like crying that I was left in this state and made to feel well 'dirty' in a way, I know she had obviously seen this so so so many times and it wouldnt have bothered her but it bothered me.

anyway what I am trying to get at with my story and my question is that I feel like this is going to make me not want to push as hard because of the 'ick' factor and that I have such a horrid experiance in mind,

so do I ask for help to make sure I have empty bowles or do I just accept the fact that this happens often , and it is natural to poo at the pushing stage, I guess my 'real' problem is that no one has ever spoken to me about this so TBH I dont know if it is common or uncommon or if there is anything you can do about it.

Thanks for reading and for any responses.

Reality and common sence tell me this is 'normal' but a kind of fear I have now makes me really nervous and embarressed about it.

Thanks again