So after reading another thread about visitors after the arrival of bubs its got me thinking. I enjoy having friends and family come visit but in the first few days I find it too much having other peoples children around and Im not sure how to word it when we make the BA so we dont ended up with lots of kids visiting.

Im hoping to be in hospital only a few hours to a day after if all goes to plan and I think while in hospital it wont be too hard to say something like we would love to see you, only have a small room so are only having adult visitors at the moment but when we are at home Im not sure what to do.

I also found long visits really tiring and DH's family dont get subtle hints but if I ask them to go or only pop around for a short while they will crack the ****s. My family are pretty good at realising when Ive had enough and they will head off, alothough I must admit being my family I find it easier to have them around as I dont feel like I have to entertain and offer drinks etc like I do with DH's family. Mum will come in and get herself a cuppa do the dishes and chat etc where as DH's parents come in sit down and expect us to get them drinks. DH's parents are nice peopple but they can be completely unaware of other peoples needs at times. DH's brother also came in unannounced with 2 peopple I had never met before to visit, I was very unimpressed!

I sound like a really grump after reading this back but with DD2 I ended up sitting in our ensuite crying while people hung around at our house for 3 hours when DD2 was only 3 days old as I had had enough, needed to express and just wanted some silence. Then the next day DH's parents sent his niece over to us as she was bored and they were going shopping! For 3 hours, she was 13 I gave her the remote and went and had a sleep while DH cleaaned and watched dd1. I felt bad but seriously I didnt need someone else to worry about. I didnt know she was coming until I walked into the lounge and she was there.

I think I need to work out how to tell people its time to go without sounding like a biatch but being direct enough they cant ignore the fact. Im going to ask DH to get people (mainly his family) to check with us before visiting and to tell his brother not to bring anyone else with him if he wants to visit.

So any advice on how to a) discourage people bringing kids until we are a bit better settled ourselves and b) how to tell people its time to leave without sounding too rude