What happens after the birth?

[MumofLewis]

This may seem like a premature question and not that relevant yet, but I wonder what happens after the baby is born?
What I mean is that if you give birth (without a c/s) do you get wheeled straight onto the ward whether you are showered etc or not? Is the baby seperated from you at all between having it and then going back to the ward? How long after do you leave the delivery suite? And do you get the chance to BF in the delivery suite straightaway?
And if you are in recovery from a c/s, where is the baby while you are in recovery?

The reason I'm asking all these silly questions is that when my SIL had her baby, all her relatives were waiting outside and they all passed the baby around while she was being stitched up (her DH was outside with them, he didn't go in for the birth, her sister did). This thought terrifies me, I want me and DH to have some time first and then the baby to be in a calm atmosphere for a while before the in laws start playing pass the parcel! I also want to be there when they meet him.

My antenatal class isn't until I'm 37 wks so I didn't want to wait until then to know what goes on!

[Tobily]

I've had both a vaginal birth and a c/section so I guess I can tell you what happened after each of my births.

My first bub was the VB - after she was born she was checked over briefly by a paediatrician and returned to me where she had her first breastfeed. Me, my DH and my mum took turns cuddling with her after that for about an hour. I then got up and had a shower (there was a private bathroom attached to the birthing suite at my hospital, I'd imagine this would be the case everywhere). While I showered Emily stayed with DH and my mum in the birthing suite. When I came out of the shower I was taken back to the ward, while DH accompanied Emily to special care nursery (I had GD with her and she was kept in the nursery for a bit so they could observe her). I'd say I was back on the ward probably an hour and a half after she was born.

DS was an emergency c/section. To this day I kick myself that I only covered the very basic fundamentals in my birth plan of what should happen if I needed a caesar. Having had a previous vaginal birth I didn't expect one so I never gave it enough thought
Any way. He was taken into another room immediately after birth to be checked, weighed and measured. He was then brought back out and shown to me - I couldn't hold him because I was too weak to hang onto him. DH stayed with him in recovery until I was stitched up and taken to recovery. Toby was right beside me in recovery from when I arrived but I still couldn't hold him or breastfeed him. I was taken back to my room about 2 hours after the ceasar, and Toby was wheeled down with me. I then gave him his first feed when he was about three hours old.

If you have concerns about what will happen with the baby being passed around etc after the birth, I would write a birth plan and be very specific about how this is to be handled - unfortunately what happened to your SIL isn't uncommon
All the best for your birth!

[mooshie]

i have had 3 vaginal births and straight after each one was born i was able to start breastfeeding straight away, all the checks and obs on bubs and me were being done whilst i was holding them. after about an hour of just bonding with bubs (with my dh) dh then held the baby whilst i had a shower. when i was ready we were all taken back up to the ward - this was usually around 2hrs or so after the birth, we went to the nursery where all the weights, measures etc were done.

those first few hours i had with baby were so special and my dh and i have had a rule that it is just us down in the birthing suites and family etc can meet us up in the ward after we were all cleaned up etc.

[Lucy]

With Olivia, I cuddled her for around an hour and attemoted a BF, then the midwife and my OB did checks on her (still in the birthing suite, right next to me). Then they offered me a shower and I realised how desparate I was for one, so I hopped int eh shower whilst DH snuggled up with Olivia.

With both Charlie and Lexie (who were both born in the same hospital, Olivia was born in a different one) I BF'd them both before the cord was even cut and snuggled for ages. Then DH cut the cord, then they had their checks. Once I had them wrapped up and comfy with DH we moved from the birthing suite to our room, where I had a shower, DH unpacked for me, whilst bubs slept soundly in the little bassinet thingo.

Depending on which hospital you are in, you can try and dictate what happens. My advice would be, if you can, and in light of the risk of "pass the parcel", stay in the delivery suite as long as you can!!

[visitor1]

After Chelsea was born she was taken over to her little heat bed to make sure she was ok, APGARS etc, then bought straight back to me for first feed. She stayed with me the whole time in the delivery room. About 2 hours later i was taken up to the ward, DH went and had some lunch and the nurses took Chels to the nursery while i showered and cleaned up, then she was bought back when i was in bed.

[Olive]

Sophie was placed straight on me and we cuddled and feed while being stitched up, i showered around 2 hours later, my family came for a quick visit, then up to the ward around 11.30pm, sophie was born and 6.21pm, there was no hurry for anything, DH never left the room, sophie was weighted after i had showered

[Rachel]

Definitely depends on what hospital you are at. I birthed in a low risk unit which is similar to a birth centre. Once Grace was born (in the shower), the 3 of us walked back to the bed, we cuddled Grace while the midwives sorted out the placenta. We were left for a while and encouraged to attempt breastfeeding (which was unsuccessful initially). The midwife then checked me for tears etc while I was still holding Grace. We wrapped Grace and DH had his first cuddle. My family arrived and came in. We were left to have family time (this was probably about an hour and a half after birth). When they came to give Grace her vitamin K injection is when they did all of her measurements and weight etc. We had some dinner and approximately 4 hours after Grace's birth we wandered down to the postnatal room. My family left and Grace and DH had some time while I had a shower and freshen up. It was all unrushed and never felt like our time was taken away from us. Obviously it also depends on how the baby is when born as to how soon they want to check them out. Grace had apgars of 9 and 10 and appeared very well so there was no urgency to do anything, we were allowed our time. Definitely discuss with your midwives your plan and what you would like post birth, that is your special time to bond as a family and it should be done the way you would like.

[MumofLewis]

Wow thanks for all your stories, it sounds like the baby won't be seperated from me until we are ready.
So can the in laws come into the delivery suite to visit then? If so that is fine too just as long as we are ready for them as I know they will be waiting outside!! I will have to state in my birth plan that I really want us both to have time with the baby first.

[Rachel]

Sarah, I think it again depends on hospital. My family was allowed in no problems but the hospital I was at there is no 'delivery suite' vs postnatal ward, it is just one unit. But I do know someone that was initially refused to have family in due to the time.You should discuss this with the midwives prior to going into labour. That is what we did.

[Tobily]

Wow thanks for all your stories, it sounds like the baby won't be seperated from me until we are ready.
So can the in laws come into the delivery suite to visit then? If so that is fine too just as long as we are ready for them as I know they will be waiting outside!! I will have to state in my birth plan that I really want us both to have time with the baby first.

The hospital I birthed at will allow immediate family into the birthing suite straight after the birth.
Maybe you could check with your hospital what their policy is on this - if its' the same specify in your birthplan that no one is to be allowed into your room until you are showered, cleaned up etc.
A friend of mine gave birth at the same hospital as me and I looked after her DD for her while she was in labour. As soon as the baby was born I took her DD back up to the hospital and I was astounded that they let me walk straight into the birthing room less than an hour after she'd given birth. The placenta etc was still in a tub in the room and she was still naked. I thought it was a bit inconsiderate of them since she is also Asian and I am not it was pretty obvious that we weren't related!

[Karina]

I went to Royal North Shore hospital in Sydney, and this is what happened after my daughter was born.

*as soon as she was born, she was placed on my chest so we could cuddle and say hello.
*had to deliver the placenta and had some shot in my leg for somethingorother.
*midwife helped me start breastfeeding.
*ob checked me and stiched me up while they were doing the checks on Claire and measured her etc.
*Claire handed back to us so we could cuddle again and see "what we had". We didnt get know if we had a boy or girl. I forgot to ask when she came out!
*I got to have some lunch. I was absolutely starving!
*I was told to have a shower and go to the loo. The shower was great! The loo, not so great.
*then, I was wheeled downstairs to the ward in a wheelchair, and taken into my room.

Some of that might be out of order, but i think thats all that happened.

I think I stayed in the delivery suite doing the above things for about 2or 3 hours or so.

This thing that really annoyed me was that my family and the in-laws were waiting for me at the maternity ward when I got there after giving birth. I was just thinking, are you kidding?? I've not slept in over 30 hours and now you want to have chit-chat? GO AWAY! I had no privacy because they were all there (MIL WANTED to WATCH the nurses insert a catheter for me!! WTF?? ) and they didnt it get that maybe I wanted to rest and spend some time with my baby and husband without having a room full of people... so if I could do it all over again, I would tell people not to visit me in the first 24 hours. I really missed that special time, those first few hours, because all those people were there and now I cant get that back. Definately tell them you want time with baby first, if thats what you want.

At the hospital I went to, I was allowed to have two people there for support during the actual labour and birth. My sister arrived while I was in labour still and was told she had to wait outside the room. She was allowed in after Claire was born.. They were a lot more strict on visitors in the deliverty suite than they were in the ward. They were nice enough to ask me if I minded my sister coming in, so it was good that I was asked rather than them just letting every man and his dog come in. Probably different at other hsopitals though.

[MumofLewis]

[A friend of mine gave birth at the same hospital as me and I looked after her DD for her while she was in labour. As soon as the baby was born I took her DD back up to the hospital and I was astounded that they let me walk straight into the birthing room less than an hour after she'd given birth. The placenta etc was still in a tub in the room and she was still naked. I thought it was a bit inconsiderate of them since she is also Asian and I am not it was pretty obvious that we weren't related![/QUOTE]

That is exactly the type of thing I dread happening! I really feel that I want to be settled and happy with things before the in laws come in. They are very full on so this is why I am nervous about it all. I've already told them that we will call them when I have had the baby but they want to be there all the way through. I plan on not telling them when i go into hospital and waiting as long as possible!

[Karina]

Sarah, just dont tell them till you want them to be there. Its a special moment and they shoudl respect that you want to share those first couple hours of babys life with your partner and baby, not a room full of people. Just call them when you are happy to have visitors, or call them beforehand, but tell them your hospital wont allow ant visitors till a few hours after the birth and hope they believe you. Tell the midwife not to allow anyone to just walk into the room.

At my hospital, the delivery suite is a closed ward, and you need to buzz and tell them who you are before they'll let you come in. Is yours like that?

[MumofLewis]

I'm not sure yet what the procedure is. I am at RHW in Randwick. I will definitely ask the midwives and discuss with them.

I'm sure everything will work out okay now that I am informed and will definitely be expressing my thoughts on the birth plan.

Thanks everyone for their stories, it is lovely to hear about everyone's experiences, I'm really glad I asked!

[Kar]

Hi Sarah
After I had Hester - they had to suction her but they didn't take her away from me. After she was breathing properly they put her on my belly and let me do baby-led attachment for her first feed. When I was ready and Hester seemed settled, (about hour of cuddles and feeding) she went to DH for his first cuddle.

We had to be very firm with my parents that we did not want them outside the door and that we wanted to make sure that DH got his first cuddle uninterrupted. It was a bit of a hard battle to win but eventually we got the message through to them.

You can do things like make a sign saying "SORRY ABSOLUTELY NO VISITORS" for the delivery suite door. But some relatives will ignore it. The best thing you can do is try to make it absolutely plain to everyone that you do want this special time for you and your DH and your new baby.

We actually went as far as not telling people I was in labour so that we didn't end up with people outside the door.

You can also back it up with some science too. There is some evidence that babies that are passed around shortly after birth don't do as well with attaching to the breast. That babies get confused by all the smells and really need to concentrate on learning what mum (&dad) smell like first.

Good luck with everything. If you are anything like me, you will find it very hard to tell people that you want them to stay away because you don't want to hurt their feelings or stop them doing what they really want, but you won't relax until you've actually got it sorted out and know that your special time with your newborn isn't going to be mucked up. You only get it once!

[Cricket]

With both my girls, they were delivered, cord cut, wrapped, and then passed to me. I nursed for as long as they were interested, showered, and we moved from the birthing suite to the ward. DH accompanied bub to the nursery for bath and check over, while I went to sleep! They came back to my room, and then we had some family time after, snuggling and resting together, and calling extended family. All of our family was polite, and only came if we wanted them too. They did not even think of hanging around the hospital when I was in labour. We would NOT have welcomed that! We never wrote out our plans/wishes, or really discussed them with our family, but everyone seemed to understand what we would want - some quiet family time together, and then sharing with others. But I've heard stories from others where the family is not quite so understanding.
Maybe find a way to see what your family is counting on, just so there are no "surprises" and then you can tell them what you would like for the birth and recovery.

[gigi01]

Hey Sarah,

with my DD she was given to me straight away to hold and then kept in delivery until I was stitched and she had her first bath with DH right next to me in the bed. We had her with us for a while but she was a bit jaundiced so had to go up to the lights for a few hours, which gave me time to be showered and then they took my up to the ward. DH went home to get some sleep and in the morning (which it actually already was but I mean at a decent hour of the morning!) when I woke up I had to ask for her to be brought in to me, which was a bit hard! It was all so surreal when I woke and she wasn't in the room with me I soooo needed to see her to make sure all was ok and that I'd actually not dreamt the whole thing, IYKWIM? anyway, they brought her right in and helped me feed. But this time I will make sure I know how long it will be before he/she is brought in if the same thing happens.

Re the ILs - I agree with the girls - let your family and the midwives know that you don't want any visitors in delivery until YOU are ready. It's such a special and personal time straight after birth and you want it to be exactly the way you want it....I found the midwives were really good at disallowing visitors when I was up on the ward too and too tired or emotional to see anyone. Some days you just want a rest!

Good luck anyway Sarah! Enjoy your pg.