Hi, I've got a few questions for anyone who is a guru about this stuff

When I think back to my previous births in preparation for this upcoming one, all I can see in my head is how scared I was with DD2 and that I was screaming and begging for my midwife to help me. I know I didn't cope at ALL during that labour and thats all I seem to be able to see.

However, I know that I didn't act that way during DD3's labour - I worked with the contractions, and I think I only screamed when pushing because of her bad positioning - not during the actual contractions.

So how come I keep focusing on DD2's labour and my fear in that instead of focusing on DD3's good labour when I did cope and the worst thing I did was say the eff word a lot?

I just don't understand it, and its beginning to really get me down because I feel that I won't cope during this next one. I know I need to work through it but I don't know how?